In Chapter 15 of Undesiredverse: Wanted , we meet Zumani, Roman’s ex-wife or current owner, depending on whether you ask Roman or Zumani.
Zumani is a belladonna, a member of a species of hot supermodel type purple space babes. Assassination is the number one industry on Belladon (I’m changing the name from Belandria’s Dawn), given that these ladies are able to so easily dupe idiotic men with their…assets.
As we learn in this chapter, a year prior to the events of this story, a cultural misunderstanding occurred. Zumani asked Roman if he’d like to “tie the knot.” Roman, an Earth human, took that to mean “get married.” He loved her so sure, why not.
But “tie the knot” means something very different in Zumani’s culture. She took Roman’s assent as an invitation to literally tie a damn rope around his neck and drag him to a priestess who performed a ceremony and declared Roman to be Zumani’s slave.
And thus we learn the lowly state of men on Belladon. There aren’t any natural born males on Belladon. The belladonnas just kidnap other worldly males and force them into servitude. Men have no rights at all.
Throughout the story, Zumani never calls Roman by his name. She just calls him, “property.”
As our story unfolds, Zumani becomes one of the many ne’er-do-wells on the hunt for Roman, hoping that by capturing him, she’ll be able to restore her honor. After all, a good Belladonna never loses her “property.”
To me, this is funny. SPOILER ALERT – I only expect Zumani to make one more appearance in “Wanted” but if people become interested enough to see the story continue into a series, I forsee further awkward situations.
Maybe Roman will try to buy himself from Zumani. Maybe Zumani will protect Roman because, “Hey! You can’t kill my slave! He’s mine!” Or maybe, just maybe, Zumani will learn to have one of those so-called “equal” relationships with our hero. Ehh. Doubtful.
My question for you, 3.5 readers is, why is this funny? Let’s face it. Reverse the situation. A race of dudes that enslave women. That’s like a twisted horror film. But an alien chick chasing a dude around the cosmos because she believes she owns him…that’s kinda funny.
At least I think it’s funny. Maybe you don’t. If it isn’t funny tell me why.