Writing Prompts – Part 3 – #21-30

Pernacious prompts to tickle your pencil.

The one you write with.

Honestly, we live in a shitty world that I had to clarify that.

#21 – Bear-ma-geddon

It’s raining bears!  Hallelujah, it’s raining bears!

Wait. Scratch that hallelujah. Bears suck.

They’re huge and they claw and they bite and they won’t stop falling from the sky and attacking any and all humans in their path.

What the heck happened to cause this bear related weather event?

And what could a hero or group of heroes do to stop it?

#22 – Rainforest Boogaloo

Sir Sidney Fockbocker leads an expedition into the deepest, darkest regions of a yet to be surveyed rainforest.

Once there, he learns that all of the animals, from the birds to the lizards, love disco. They can’t get enough of it. They’re all dressed in high-collared 70s style white suits.  They’ve got their own disco ball.  They get down 24/7.

Is Sir Sidney aghast at his discovery or does he put on his dancing shoes and join in?

#23 – Who Knew It Was That Easy?

Elaine Mitzengahller becomes so preoccupied with discovering the meaning of life that she quits her day job and sails the seven seas, consults the world’s greatest philosophers, climbs the tallest mountains, unearths long forgotten relics and in total, spends twenty years in search of the answer to life’s greatest question.

Defeated, she returns home, opens up a cereal box and discovers that the meaning of life is the prize.

Buried underneath a mound of boysenberry sugar blasts, she discovers a simple card that reads, “The meaning of life is obviously to do and experience as much as you can before you croak, dumbass.”

Does Elaine feel like an idiot for not seeing the obvious answer for so long?

Is she content, seeing as how during the course of her search for the meaning of life, she did a lot of great things?

Or, is this really the meaning of life? Perhaps the cereal prize card is wrong and the meaning is still out there…

#24 – Karma 

Larry Lumpkus is an epic dingus supreme. He steals candies from babies. He cheats on his wife, his taxes, and at every game from backgammon to poker.

He steals money from little old ladies, orphans, and the sick and infirm.

His favorite pastime is puppy kicking. He just goes to animal shelters, adopts adorable puppies, then kicks them down the street as if he were playing a game of kick the can.

Seriously, if puppy kicking were an Olympic sport, Larry would bring home the gold.

He relishes every opportunity to tell a child that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are not real despite clear and convincing evidence to the contrary.

Larry even enjoys going to movies twice. The first time he’ll sit back and watch the film. The second time he just pokes his head in and shouts out spoilers. Literally, no one who attends the movie theater in Larry’s neighborhood has enjoyed a good mystery in years.

He sets ants on fire with a magnifying glass, pulls the wings off of insects and laughs, and has even been known to fart in elevators and blame it on the most overweight person in the general vicinity.

If karma exists and people are inevitably punished by this invisible force, then what sort of cosmic happenings might transpire in order for Larry to experience to intense displeasure that he has caused so many others?

#25 – Drive-Thru Surprise

You know you shouldn’t. It’ll make your waistline grow and make you extra gassy.

But you can’t help it. You succumb to temptation and veer off into the parking lot of your favorite fast food joint.

You order a combo twelve with extra fat and a side of greasy dipping sauce.

However, dummy that you are, you don’t check the bag before pulling away from the window.

Always check the bag before driving away from the window because those minimum wage slaves do not give a crap about your in-car dining experience and who can blame them?

As you drive down the highway, you stick your hand in the bag but instead of finding delicious, artery clogging fries, you discover hair.

Whatever it is, you pull it out only to scream when you discover that you have been served…a human head!

Arrrgh!

Even worse, the head can talk. It can also sing. In fact, it treats you to a rousing rendition of Frank Sinatra’s greatest hints.

Halfway through the head’s tribute to New York, you interrupt him.

What questions do you have for the singing head?

#27 – Taco Tuesday

Taco Tuesday becomes real…seriously real.

Figure out what set of events cause you to only be able to eat tacos and nothing else on Tuesdays, then answer whether this makes you happy because you love tacos (and who doesn’t because they are delicious especially with sour cream and guacamole) or if it makes you sad because you either don’t like tacos or you like them but not enough to have them every Tuesday.

#28 – Anyone

If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why?

Further, would you want to be that person forever or just a day?

#29 – Ninja Bunnies

You discover that all bunnies are secretly ninjas.

Does this surprise you or did you know all along?

And will these bunnies gladly protect you in exchange for carrots or will they be offended that you tried to buy their honor?

#30 – Lucky Number

You have played the same set of lucky numbers in the state lottery every week for the past twenty years with no luck.

One day, you have a rough time at work and are so exhausted that you drive right by your favorite convenience store on the way home and jump right into bed.

The next morning you wake up only to discover your best friend played your numbers and won.

You two regularly bump into each other at the same store every night and when he/she noticed you weren’t there, he/she played the numbers on a lark…and won a hundred million dollars.

Do you wish your friend well or do you lose your mind?

 

 

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