Bookshelf Battle

He’s baaaack.

BQB here with a review of the sequel series about America’s favorite serial killer with a code.

I’ve often said being a fan of a cable TV show is a lot like being the long suffering wife of a husband going through a bad mid-life crisis. There we stand at the doorway in our bathrobe and hair curlers, begging him to stay. We tell him we have so many more years together, we’ll be more loyal to him that that hot new young blonde will, but nothing we can do or say will stop him from driving off in his new impulse by Ferrari as he chases new projects, i.e. new movies and shows that literally no one will remember and thus we are left all alone, baffled at how we could have invested so many years in a show that was ground to a screeching, unsatisfying halt.

Those shitty husbands have been returning in droves lately, all with shitty store bought bouquets in the form of tangential prequels and sequels. The Sopranos wants us back. They’re sorry for giving us a do it yourself ending where Tony may or may not have been whacked and want to make it up to us with a prequel about Tony’s uncle in the 1960s. Saw it. Doesn’t make up for the lousy ending.

Game of Thrones is back too. They’re sorry they left us with a bizarre ending where the kind and just Khaleesi suddenly orders her dragon to turn King’s Landing into a barbecue, followed by the kid we were told for a decade could never be king becoming king with no explanation as to why the rule against him being king no longer applies. They want to make it up to us with a prequel show about Khaleesi’s ancestors from 10000 years ago. I’ll probably watch it because I have no respect for myself.

And finally, Dexter’s back. He’s sorry about that whole shitty finale where his tough cop sister Deb gets turned into a whimpering simpleton who inexplicably backs him rather than, I don’t know, vows to take him down in the bro vs sis showdown we were long promised…and then somehow Dex drives his boat to the only hospital that has a boat ramp, absconds with his dying sister in his arms (nary a single doctor, nurse or guard notices or cares) and drives his boat into a hurricane to end his murder spree once and for all and for a second we think this is a shitty ending but at least it is and ending, only for the final scene where we see Dexter has moved to the Pacific Northwest to become a lumberjack. WTF?

If I had any dignity, I’d tell all these returning franchises to go to hell. I’m seeing Squid Game now and I know in my heart that they’ll wrap up my new favorite show with a decent conclusion and won’t just give me a lame ending followed by a Squid Game prequel in ten years that no one will want (sigh they will probably do just that.)

But I am sans dignity so I watched the first episode. I’ll say at the outset, its far from what I wanted yet interesting enough that I’ll give it a try.

Here, we see Dexter ten years into his new life under an assumed identity. Posing as Jim, an employee of Fred’s Fish and Game Store, he has invented an entirely new life, yet fans will see old habits die hard. He brings cheesecake bars to work, not unlike how he used to bring donuts so everyone would like him.

He’s dating a cop, which we can assume will give him access to data on baddies who buck the system, and perhaps set up a showdown with his girlfriend (that the writers will no doubt botch).

Deb now serves as Harry, the voice that advises him on what to do.

Dexter has kept his need to kill at bay for ten years but it all comes out when a rich young douche who openly brags about all the people he’s hurt crosses his path.

Oh, and obviously it’s hella woke. Everyone is gay and his arch-nemesis will be a rich oil baron who is hurting the environment.

STATUS: So far, shelf-worthy, but it feels like I’ve lowered myself to take that long lost love back. I’ll trust it for now, but I know inevitably, it will do something stupid…or, will it learn from its mistakes and make it up to us? Time will tell.