Tag Archives: writers

A Self-Publishing Milestone – Johnny B. Truant’s Fat Vampire Becomes a TV Show

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

You know who really got me into self-publishing? A trio of super cool dudes by the names of Johnny B. Truant, Sean Platt, and David Wright. Johnny, Sean and Dave of “The Self-Publishing Podcast.”

I started blogging in 2014 with the idea that I’d try to write a novel and submit it to traditional publishers. Then I started seeing a lot of bloggers talking about self-publishing. Before I knew it, I was down the rabbit hole and found this podcast that was very funny, all about three friends following their dream of self-publishing success, sharing the lessons they learned, the mistakes they made and interviewing others who had done great things all without assistance from the gatekeepers of the publishing industry.

Their best-known non-fiction work, which doubles as their mantra, is “Write, Publish, Repeat” in which they make the case for writers to put in the work. You need to publish…a lot. Readers are hungry but they have access to so much free material that you have to put a lot out there before they start parting with the moolah.

Over the years (I think they began in earnest in 2012) they have published a ton of books. So many that I always wondered, given the sheer volume of their catalog, how the heck hasn’t one of their books been Hollywood-ized yet?

Well…their big day in the sun is here. Johnny B. wrote a comedy horror series called “Fat Vampire.” I believe this was one of his first books. It follows the plight of Reginald, an overweight man named Reginald who in life, really wanted to lose weight but couldn’t and thus suffered all the indignities that come with being plus sized.

And then he gets a vamp bite. Now a vampire, he falls in with a league of typically sexy brooding vamps. Alas, as those who know vamp lore will tell you, how you were as a human when you were bitten will be how you always are as a vamp. Poor Reginald will live forever but he can never lose weight. He is forever trapped as a fat vampire. Even though he rises through the ranks and proves himself worthy, he will forever be poked fun of by the other vamps for his fatness.

I noticed the book got a new title. “Reginald the Vampire” will be played by Spiderman’s BFF actor Jacob Batalon on SyFy. It seems the whole crux of the series is a chubby dude who wants to change but is forever locked into his chubbyness and the lack of respect from his peers that comes with it no matter what great victories he achieves so I hope they will at least grasp that.

But anyway, this is a victory for the SPP dudes, one a long time in the making. Very well deserved and proof to the rest of you self-publishers out there that you can do it.

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FREE BOOK!

I’m Crazy BQB and my book prices are INSANE!!!

Get this free book and don’t forget, it’s FREE!

“But BQB,” you say. “I’m trying to save money because gas prices are higher than a clone made from a mix of the DNA of Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg and Woody Harrelson.”

Good for you! Then you shouldn’t be spending money on books. You should be getting this free book instead:

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GET A FREE BOOK!

Get my big book of badass writing prompts FOR FREE all this weekend:

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GET A FREE BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

You know, the important things to remember in this brave new world are a) consumers of entertainment should never have to pay anything to be entertained and b) writers and all other entertainers should never make any money whatsoever.

That’s right. Everything should be totes free. FREE, I say! Totes FREE!

I kid. I kid. Writers should make money but alas, we have to put out a lot of FREE stuff first.

Anyway, get this book about a dude who jumps out of a plane only to discover his ripcord has been sabotaged:

AND GET IT FOR FREE!

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GET MY WRITING PROMPTS BOOK FOR FREE!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal, BQB, here.

Get my Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts for FREE! TOTALLY FREE! No money down. Just get your free copy today FOR FREE!

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Freefall Cover

Hey 3.5 readers.

My next installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts is about an average schmuck who goes skydiving for the first time, only to find his primary and backup cords aren’t working.

With 5 minutes before he hits the pavement, he needs to figure out how to save himself, if he can. Also, foul play is suspected, so will he be able to figure out who sabotaged his parachute and why?

Here it is. The cover for BQB’s Twisted Shorts – Volume 1 – Issue 5 – Freefall.

I think this is the best of the 5 covers. The other 5 were great but this, wow, I mean, if you’re browsing through a bookshelf and see this cover, you want to open it up and find out what happens to this guy, don’t you?

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People Buying My Books on Purpose

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal, BQB here.

I’ve noticed a trend the past couple of times I have put out free books. Last time, someone bought a book and this time around, someone bought three books.

What’s this mean? To me its a sign that someone read a free book, liked what they read, and were willing to part with some dough to read more.

Is it a lot? No. All comes down to like a buck or two. But its a sign of progress. Success in self-publishing really does seem to come down to putting out more content. Maybe next time I put out a free book, someone will buy 4 or 5 and so on.

Thus, I’ve been putting out my shorts – very quick short stories. They fluctuate between 10-20,000 words and I try to cap it off at 20. Most seem to be closer to 10,000. Easier to get out there, editing and formatting is easier and more affordable.

I do think ultimately I need to get some full length novels out there and they’ll come…eventually. Slow and steady wins the race as the turtle once famously proved.

Anyway, two of my books are FREE for the next day or two so grab your FREE copy. Thank you, 3.5 readers.

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Get My Free Prompts!

Hey 3.5 readers.

I have 2 FREE BOOKS over the next few days. The first was the is he a werewolf or isn’t he story, Quarantine, and the second is my big book of badass writing prompts.

Get your free copy below. Get inspired and get your pen scribbling.

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Get My Next Short!

Boy, 3.5 readers, my little Amazon catalog sure is growing.

My third short, “The End Is Nigh” is now available. Wacky conspiracy theorist and alleged nutball Harry Blanding shows up at a subway stop every day, ringing his bell while he blurts out his absurd claims.

Most believe him to be a performance artist with an absurd sense of humor, but when cell phone footage of Harry’s antics goes viral, one particular government agency that may or may not exist is not laughing.

Get your copy today:

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Albert Camus’ Invincible Summer

Hey 3.5 readers.

The French philosopher Albert Camus once said, “In the depth of winter, I finally learned there lay within me an invincible summer.”

What do you think that means, 3.5 readers?

I’m going to guess it means that even during Camus’ worse times, he was able to feel good about himself. And why not? He was a famous writer who was handsome and popular with the ladies.  It was easy for him to find his invincible summer.

Camus was an absurdist and I am no philosophy expert but my understanding is that absurdism is a spinoff of nihilism.  Nihilism = life is meaningless while absurdism = life is absurd.

Is it? Maybe. It is kind of absurd that you are born, you live, you learn all these lessons and savor the joys of life in your youth then eventually you hit a point where with each passing year, these joys are taken away from you more and more.

So maybe it wasn’t easy for someone who thought life was absurd to find an invincible summer inside of himself. Maybe Camus does deserve a pat on the back for finding it.

Sidenote – the poor guy died at 46 in a car crash while a passenger in a sports car his agent was driving. There was a train ticket in his pocket that went unused because he decided to drive with his agent instead. If you get an agent, don’t let them drive, 3.5 readers.

Then again, what do I know? Maybe your agent is a great driver and the train you would have been a passenger on might have exploded due to some sort of unforeseen malfunction.

Don’t listen to me. Don’t take advice from blogs that are only read by 3.5 readers.

To sum up, it is good that a famous writer finds his invincible summer. It makes sense. Where it is harder is the janitor who scrubs toilets all day then comes home to an empty house because his wife left him and so he stares at the walls by himself all night. These are people who need to find their invincible summer, and it is hard.

Come to think of it, it is hard for proprietors of blogs with only 3.5 readers to find their own invincible summers. Excuse me. I need a kleenex to dry some tears that came only due to allergy season.

Find your own invincible summer, 3.5 readers and if you know someone living in winter, maybe see what you can do to bring some summer into their lives.

I got through this whole post without making any French jokes about Camus probably liking baguettes and crepes suzette. I am proud of myself, oui, oui, sacre bleu!

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