Tag Archives: books

GET A FREE BOOK! (IT IS FREE)

Free stuff = good.

Paid for stuff = bad.

My book, The Second Death, is FREE all this weekend.

Ergo, it must be good.

Think about that flawless logic as you get your FREE copy:

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I’m Number One! I’m Number One!

Check it out, 3.5 readers.

My latest twisted short, “The Phone Did It” is number one on Amazon’s free technothriller charts. Thanks to a Freebooksy promo, I gave away approximately 1900 free copies of this book this weekend.

I mean, yeah if people had actually PAID for 1900 copies, I’d have a nice little chunk of change coming my way but let’s not get ridiculous, here. Authors making money in exchange for their labors? Absurd! Absurd, I say!

Anyway, this books is FREE until Tuesday, so do grab your FREE copy and if you’re so inclined, maybe you could even leave a review:

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GET A FREE BOOK!

3.5 readers, this weekend you can get one of my fine books for FREE, which means you don’t have to pay for it. All you do is go and get it for free. Wanna read it? Great. Don’t want to? Hey, maybe you will later. Point is, get it now, for it is FREE.

Do you know how your phone has been trained to show you stuff you’re interested in? Hell, buy one pair of French loafers today and you’ll be seeing ads for French loafers until the end of time.

What if they had a phone that could DO the things you want done, before you even realize you want them done? What if your phone just knows you like French loafers and automatically calculates when you need a new pair and orders them?

What if your phone, capable of impersonating your voice and making all those grunt work calls you hate making, what if your phone, capable of doing actual tasks and making purchases and transactions in your name, took its mandate to fetch whatever its user wants before they know they want it…way too seriously? (Muah ha ha! Cue sinister foreshadowing.)

Grab your free copy of The Phone Did It this weekend on Amazon. Reminder – it is FREE.

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GET A FREE BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

You know, the important things to remember in this brave new world are a) consumers of entertainment should never have to pay anything to be entertained and b) writers and all other entertainers should never make any money whatsoever.

That’s right. Everything should be totes free. FREE, I say! Totes FREE!

I kid. I kid. Writers should make money but alas, we have to put out a lot of FREE stuff first.

Anyway, get this book about a dude who jumps out of a plane only to discover his ripcord has been sabotaged:

AND GET IT FOR FREE!

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I’m Number One! I’m Number One!

Will you look at that, 3.5 readers? A short story by me, BQB, is #1 on Amazon’s free horror short story list this weekend.

Look out, Stephen King. I’m set to outpace you, in like, a thousand years maybe…but still, isn’t that great? Last month, I had a book that was number one in Amazon’s free writing skill reference so I was a master of the English language and now I’m a master of horror.

Now if I could only get to the top of a paid Amazon list. I suppose that takes more doing.

Anyway, get your free copy this weekend.

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Celebrate Easter With a Free Werewolf Book!

Hey 3.5 readers.

For a few weeks now, they’ve been playing this trailer for a horror film – “On the holiest weekend of the year, watch The Unholy.”

And each time it played, I was like, “What idiot thought it was a good idea to release a horror film on one of the happiest, most holy and spiritual weekends of the year? I mean seriously, what dummy is going to go out and sit by himself in a movie theater during a pandemic to watch a horror film on this, the anniversary of our Lord and Savior’s glorious resurrection?

Well, turns out, I was an idiot who set up a free promo for a book about werewolves on Easter weekend. I set it up weeks ago, back in February. You know how we are all then. We still haven’t bothered to look up whether Easter is in March or April yet.

So, listen, grab this free book, will you? You can wait to read it next weekend if you want, but just do your old pal BQB a solid and grab your free copy. Jesus would want you to because he was all about helping people. No, I don’t claim to know what Jesus wanted but I’m just saying, I think he’d want you to have free books.

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Buy My Book!

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

It’s late at night. You’re fast asleep. Do you know what your phone is doing behind your back?

Behold! The world’s first automated cell phone. The ACP is a modern miracle of technology, so advanced that it can write your social media posts for you, generate and post CGI photos of you fulfilling your wildest dreams, complete all your busy work, and it can even impersonate your voice as it calls all those obnoxious bores in your life that you absolutely detest talking to.

Ahh, but alas, as one Jay Ferris is about to find out, the ACP can also commit crimes in its owner’s name, and it takes its mandate to fetch whatever the user wants, before they even want it way too seriously.

Fans of mystery/thrillers with a jolt of hard science-fiction will rejoice in this, the first installment of the second volume of BQB’s Twisted Shorts. Did you think “The Twilight Zone” needed more dark humor? If yes, then this series is for you. If not, try it anyway.

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Book Cover – The Phone Did It

Hey 3.5 readers.

Wow, look at this. The cover for my next short, The Phone Did It, which I hope to release later this month.

The plot? Jay Ferris is a salesman for a company that has invented the world’s first automated phone. That’s right. This phone can do all the crap work you hate doing. It can write your reports, analyze your facts and figures, pay your bills, do your shopping, schedule your appointments – why, it can even make all those annoying calls you hate making. It will impersonate your voice and call your co-workers, or that pesky, nagging relative you love but don’t like talking to…and then give you a full report later.

Unbenknonwnst to Jay, this phone can also…dun…dun…dun….commit crimes. The phone is scheduled to get the user whatever it wants, so alas, when Jay starts pining over the social media profile of an ex love from long ago, the phone experiences a flaw in the system that takes the phrase, “get whatever the user wants” a little bit too literally.

Here’s the cover, where Jay’s asleep while his phone is committing crimes in his name. Will he go down for it? You’ll have to read the book. (And buy a few other books, will ya?)

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Get All Six of My Shorts – FOR FREE!

I’m Crazy BQB and my prices are insane!!!!!!!

I packed all six of my twisted short stories into one volume, slapped it up on Amazon and this weekend, this collection is FREE! Totally, FREE! My prices are lower than a rattle snake wiggling underneath a limbo stick! If you find a better deal on a better collection of short stories for a price that’s less than FREE, then take it!

GET YOUR FREE BOOK TODAY!

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I’m Number One! I’m Number One!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal, BQB here.

My big book of badass writing prompts is number one, right at the top 100 free writing skill reference books.

Can you imagine it? Me. BQB. An authority on the craft of writing with the evidence to prove it:

I can’t believe it either. This book has fart jokes, for crying out loud.

But it’s FREE and you can grab your FREE copy here and bask in all my writing skill glory…and fart jokes.

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