Tag Archives: tv

TV Review – Rick and Morty

Oh my God, Morty!  We have to review a show about Rick and Morty, Morty!  BURP!  The review has to be good, Morty!  The BQB Blog only has 3.5 readers, Morty!  What are we going to do, Morty?

Hey 3.5.  So after years of hearing about Rick and Morty, I finally checked it out and I am hooked.  I haven’t laughed so hard in so long.  That’s a good thing because I thought comedy had more or less died.

The first thing is this is a TV show on Adult Swim and is NOT for kids at all.  Surprising, for some reason I did think it was a kids’ show but I was wrong.  Lots of gratuitous sex talk, innuendo, situations and swears galore.

The gist is that Rick Sanchez is a Grandpa who, after disappearing for 20 years, returns to his family.  He is a mad scientist and in this show, the most intelligent being of all time, yet it’s hard to wrap your head around it because he is always burping and swearing and engaging in boorish behavior.  Confusing things is that Rick often uses his scientific know-how to travel a) through space b) through time and c) through time lines…meaning more than one version of himself pops up often.

Rick drags his nerdy grandson Morty along on his adventures and it really tears Morty up.  Morty just wants to be a regular kid and can’t deal with the stress of being his grandpa’s intergalactic time traveling helper.  Is this a metaphor about sometimes kids have to grow up too early and help their elders?  Maybe.

Anyway, it has given me a lot of laughs.  I recommend it, Morty.

Burp.  Time to end the review, Morty.  Because we have to, Morty.

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Game of Thrones Recap – Episode 7, Season 7 – The Dragon and the Wolf

I’m so sad, 3.5 readers.

One of my favorite shows will soon come to an end…next summer…because they’re making us all wait.

I have to say I have been long waiting for the big, final battle over King’s Landing between the Lannisters and the Khaleesi.  I always assumed that would come first and then the winner would face the White Walkers.

Not so fast as there was a truce.  The Dragon Queen and the Bitchy Queen will hold onto their menstruations for now in order to face the greater white walker threat.

Not exactly the outcome I was hoping for, but perhaps it will pay off in the next season.

I feel a little cheated that these seasons are shorter, but I’ll wait and see.  Perhaps the showrunners know what they are doing.

For a moment, it was looking like there would be a sad showdown between Sansa and Arya, only to see them turn on Littlefinger.  Unlike the Internet, I was sad to see Littlefinger go.  All of the other characters were born into their wealth and prestige.  Littlefinger actually had to work for it.  Sure, he was a douche, but when you only have yourself to rely on, you have to be that much douchier.

During the truce scene, I kept waiting for Cersei to spring a trap.  Maybe all her guests would be killed ala the Red Wedding but nope, no cigar.

The big secret of the show is revealed.  Jon Snow is not a bastard.  He is the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyana Stark.  That means as the oldest male Targaryen he is the rightful ruler of Westeros and oh yeah, since he didn’t know and boned the Khaleesi, he is now an Auntie fucker.

Oh well.  The Targaryens keep it in the family.

Wasn’t it sad to see the Wall go?  It’s been a menacing presence for years only for a damn fire breathing zombie dragon to make short work of it.

What’s next, 3.5 readers?

 

 

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How Game of Thrones is Like Life

What a long, strange trip it’s been, 3.5 readers.

I was in my early 30s when this show began.  I didn’t feel happy about my life at the time but looking back on it, I realize I should have.  I guess that’s the thing about getting older – we only realize how good we used to have it when time goes by and things get worse and believe me, they can always get worse.

Still, there was a difference in my early 30s.  I was unhappy that I’d gotten older, yet there seemed like there was enough time left to pull a happy life off – find a good job, lose weight conquer some of my health issues, meet a girl and start a family.

 

In the back of my mind I knew that age 40 was coming for me, slowly trudging my way like a white walker and just like a snow zombie, age 40 could not be bargained or reasoned with, could not be destroyed, it was coming and so I’d better deal with it.  (I’m about a year and a few months from it eating my brains now.)

In other words, I suppose I would fit in as one of the characters on Game of Thrones.  For seven years, the main characters have been aware that the Khaleesi, Queen of Dragons, was on her way to cross the Narrow Sea and toast everyone to a crispy, golden brown.  As it turns out, she’s too nice to do that but they didn’t know that…and we aren’t entirely sure she won’t yet.  The Khaleesi is trying to be kind and loving but she definitely has a switch that can be flipped that can make her want to cook you with the help of her big ass reptiles.

By the way, aren’t all the dragon action scenes great?  We’ve been waiting a long time for them.

Anyway, like me ignoring the coming of age 40 and failing to get my life in order, the characters all fought over the Iron Throne.  King Robert’s brother Stannis and Renley fought each other for it.  Robb Stark didn’t want it but just wanted to bring his army to King’s Landing to make the Lannisters pay for killing his father, Ned.  Those damn Greyjoys took advantage of the chaos to do some looting and pillaging.  The Boltons got in on the mix.  Honestly, I lose track of how many people wanted that throne.  It was a lot.

But that was the point of the show.  All the characters have known that a Khaleesi was coming but…she was so far away…and there were more pressing matters in front of them.

A smaller handful of characters also knew the white walkers were coming.  They tried harder to warn people but no one would listen.  There’s the rub, I suppose.  If you actually see or experience a threat, you’re more likely to try to do something about it.

I’ve always seen the show as an allegory for America.  We Americans spend so much time fighting each other over our differences – party lines, racial lines, class lines – we don’t stop to think about what we have in common, or to realize that the only thing we have to stop the outside forces who’d like to see this country burn from getting their way is each other.

The warring families could have set aside their differences and been in a better position to stop the Khaleesi from bringing her dragons to cook everyone up.  Alas, they killed each other, decimated the country’s resources and now it’s easy pickens for the Mother of Dragons.

Had they not fought each other, they could have been in a better position to stop the white walkers.  Now it may be too late.

Now as I get older, I see the show as an allegory for life.  This past decade has moved so quickly and at the time, I felt out of control, powerless to fix things.  I knew in the back of my mind that a myriad of health problems would be coming if I didn’t lose weight, that financial problems would come if I didn’t find a better job, that sadness would come if I didn’t find a girl.

Sad to say that by the end of season 7, I’ve only accomplished 1 out of 3.  The good job was found and the financial problems are over, so I don’t have to worry about a looming white walker in the form of financial ruin…but…I still have to worry about a white walker in the form of a heart attack if I don’t lose weight…or a fat ass fire breathing dragon in the form of permanent bachelorhood/inability to father children due to old age.

And I guess that’s the moral of the story.  We focus on the problems right in front of our faces.  It’s too easy to delay the long term problems.  “We’ll worry about the fat ass dragon or the evil white walkers when and/or if they get here” we say, rather than take the daily steps that, when done with regularity, build up over time and help us stave off the impending doom.

In short, I could have lost weight low these past seven years.  That would have made me a healthier man today and would have made it easier to find a girl (wait I have VGRF but maybe this is the Alleged Man’s brain bleeding through), but I didn’t.  Now I fear I may be too late and I might get bitten by the white walker of poor health or be eaten by the dragon of loneliness.

I worry it may be too late for me, 3.5 readers.  However, if you are young, take the warning that this show provides and run with it.

In your life, you have your own personal white walker or perhaps, your own personal dragon.  Maybe it’s money, or romance, or employment or health or addiction or what have you.

Whatever it is, know in the back of your mind that your white walker of a problem is slowly trudging its way down from the North, ready to eat your brains.  Will you assemble an army within yourself to fight it and keep it at bay, or will you wake up one day and find a big chomp has been taken out of your brain and now it is too late?

You know that your Khaleesi of a problem is heading East.  Slowly but surely, she’s kicking ass and taking names, growing her numbers and feeding her dragons so they get big and strong, the bigger and stronger to fricassee your oily hide.  You’re placating yourself, telling yourself that you are young and have plenty of time before that problem becomes a reality.  You’re also fooling yourself.  Will you, again, assemble a personal army inside yourself to fight the dragons, or will you wake up one day and find yourself a charcoal briquette?

I can tell you seven years ago, when this show first began, I knew that if I didn’t get a better job, that if I didn’t lose weight and didn’t find a woman, I’d essentially end up approaching forty, feeling like a white walker had eaten my brain or a dragon had burnt me up.

Now I feel that way.  Sure, I conquered the financial dragon.  I kicked the financial white walker in the gonads.  But I ignored the health dragon/white walker and the romance dragon/white walker and now I’m about to be fried and eaten.

Then again, I suppose it’s never really over until a white walker is actually chowing down on your brains or until a dragon has toasted you, so…I guess I’ll pick myself up, dust myself off and give it another try.

You should too, 3.5 readers.  Feel free to tell me in the comments what you are going to do to keep your personal white walkers from eating your brains or your personal dragon from roasting you and chomping you up like a chicken nugget.

Remember, “Winter is coming.”  That’s been the slogan of the show for seven years.  Our own personal winters are coming – be they in the form of a heart attack because we didn’t eat better, or cancer because we didn’t take care of ourselves, or yuck, being that fifty year old in “da club” still trying to score a date because he didn’t pick someone and try to make the best of it when he was younger.  Sure, Winter seems a long way away but it will be here soon enough and it will bring zombies…and dragons and apparently, a freaking zombie ass dragon.

What will you do to stave off your personal winter, 3.5 readers?

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Always Man the Anti-Dragon Crossbow

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

I’ve watched the final scene of the latest Game of Thrones episode a bunch of times now, the one where Khaleesi burns the shit out of the Lannister army with her dragon’s red hot fire breath.

Truly, some bad ass shit we fans have been waiting seven years to see.

Question – why was the anti-dragon crossbow just sitting in a covered wagon, all wrapped up and not ready to fire?  Why did Sir Bronn have to fight his way across a battlefield to get to it?

I mean, seriously?  WTF, people?  If you know there’s a crazy ass blonde bitch with a fat ass fire breathing dragon at her command, you would think that it would be common sense for the big ass anti-dragon crossbow to be manned at all times.

Day.  Night.  Weekday.  Weekend.  Holiday.  There should always be some dude behind that crossbow waiting to shoot a damn dragon.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

 

 

 

 

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Game of Thrones Review – Season 7, Episode 4 – The Spoils of War

Hey 3.5 readers.  BQB here.

This episode is one that fans have been waiting to see for years.

First, there was the long awaited reunion of the Stark children.  They were babies when the show started, young adults now.  Any one of the actors/actresses could have gotten too big for their britches and abandoned the show.  Sophie Turner in particular has landed some big roles like Jean Gray in the X Men films.  But they all stuck with their first gig and remained loyal to the fans so this day could come.

Second, how long have we all been waiting for a big time dragon warfare scene?  Pretty awesome.  Pretty devastating.  It would truly suck to be on the business end of a fiery dragon hole, let me tell you.

Want a sign that the writing on this show is fabulous?  It’s that you simultaneously root for all the characters to win.  As Sir Bronn of the Blackwater goes for that big ass anti-dragon crossbow, you simultaneously root for him to blow that dragon out of the sky and also for the dragon to sit Bronn on fire so Khaleesi can survive.

It’s all in the backstory.  We’ve seen Bronn go from rags to riches so we want him to hang in there.  But we’ve seen Khalessi do the same so we want her to stick around too.

We cheer for Khaleesi’s dragons to burn up the Lannister army yet we also cheer Jamie on as he fends off the Dothraki.  What a show that can make us feel for both sides.

Seriously.  The standard for most fantasy fare is one side is so absurdly evil that you can’t wait for them to die at the hands of the good guys who are unwaveringly good.  Here, you get the backstory.  We understand why the Lannisters have done what they have done, just as we understand Khaleesi’s motivations.

Ultimately, it looks like Khaleesi would do the best as Queen of Westeros, but we feel for Bronn and Jamie.  We know how they ended up on that battlefield.  We know under different circumstances they might have chosen better sides.  We don’t want them to become dragon chow.

Plus, when Tyrion says, “You fucking idiot.”  Who is he talking about?  Khaleesi for landing her dragon right in the middle of the battlefield to tend to his wound or Jamie, for charging in the general direction of a damn dragon?  It’s certainly open ended.

Oh and how long have we waited for the Dothraki invasion?  Khaleesi’s loyal army of foreign, wild card warrior rapists have been cooling their heels for a long ass time now and are ready for action.  Also rape.  Not gonna lie.  They’re probably gonna do a lot of raping.  That’s what Dothraki do.  I mean, I don’t want to engage in harmful stereotypes, but always wear a cast iron chastity belt when you’re around a Dothraki.  It’s just common sense, really.

By the way, is it me or have all the rules about how fast armies can travel in this massive continent suspended?  I feel like in the beginning it would take armies half the season to move anywhere.  Now you’ve got Euron Greyjoy taking down Khaleesi’s fleet right away and Khaleesi and dragons and Dothraki make it from Dragonstone to High Garden within the span of an episode.

Oh well.  The writers on this show are suffering some mild senioritis.  I suppose we can overlook travel time rules for more awesome dragon scenes.

 

 

 

 

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Is Comedy Dying?

I caught a bit of “Airplane” (1980) this morning.  Such a funny movie.  Humor for the sake of humor.  Non-stop silly gags.  Things that obviously wouldn’t happen in real life but are there to make you laugh. That’s the whole.

Also, a lot of politically incorrect stuff..

I worry about the fate of comedy.  I feel like everywhere I go, people aren’t laughing anymore.  They are afraid of offending someone and yet there’s the rub.  Every person, every group, every occupation, every individual, every type – there’s humor to be mined out of everyone and everything.

True comedy lovers may get mad when a comedian makes a joke that makes fun of who they are – their particular group, type, etc.  But true comedy lovers will also let that go in order to laugh at the other jokes, jokes that don’t hit as close to home because they make fun of other individuals, groups they aren’t a part of.

America is the melting pot.  We are all simmering in the same stew.  Can we find some humor while we’re in there?  I think it all comes down to motive.  Is your joke meant to make people laugh and have a good time, or is it meant to belittle and make people unhappy?

I see it in what passes for comedy movies these day.  Safe, moderately silly premises that don’t probe, don’t challenge, don’t do anything.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Game of Thrones Recap – Season 7, Episode 2 – Stormborn

So, the Khaleesi is planning her invasion.  Her cohorts all want a full assault on King’s Landing.  The Khaleesi has other thoughts in mind.  She doesn’t want to be Queen of the Ashes, i.e. to destroy the city.  She wants to surround it and starve the Queen out.  Meanwhile, Grey Worm and the Unsullied will take Casterly Rock.

Sam is working to cure Mormont despite advice against it, namely, he could catch the disease in the process.

We finally see what eunuch sex looks like.  Ladies, keep an open mind about eunuchs.  They may not have much downstairs, but they make up for it with a little mouth to the south.

Cersei looks like she might have a surface to air anti-dragon weapon.  She also scores the first victory as ally Euron Greyjoy defeats his niece and nephew at sea.  Reek really wusses out.

Khaleesi confronts Varys.  He has a history of conspiring against those he has served to save the realm and also his hide.

Jon Snow decides to meet with Khaleesi despite advice against it.

What say you, 3.5 readers?  Will the Khaleesi pull this off?

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Should Ed Sheeran Have Had a Cameo on Game of Thrones?

Pro – he’s probably a fan who had a good time doing it.

Con – This show is bigger than the actors.  It has never had to rest on large personalities or gimmicks, so this seemed cheesy.

Discuss.

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Game of Thrones Wrap-Up – Season 7, Episode 1 – Dragonstone

It’s a Game of Spoilers, 3.5 readers.  Look away, I say.

Basically, Cersei and Jaime are screwed, and more so than the usual screwing they do to each other.

To the South, the Dornish Amazons are pissed.  To the North, Jon Snow is King.  The Whitewalkers are headed for the Wall.

Oh, and the Khaleesi has landed.  Repeat, the Khaleesi has landed.

Arya has taken out all the Freys with her ninja skills.  Oh and all the kids have officially grown up.  Arya, Bran and Sansa are all super tall and look like they ate their Wheaties over the past year.  Sigh, this decade really has moved fast, hasn’t it?

Yes, things suck big time for Cersei.  And with her children and family gone, Jaime asks the inevitable question of what are they even fighting for?

Her only potential ally at this point seems to be Euron Greyjoy, who promises a fleet and a special mysterious gift if he can get all up in Cersei’s lady business.

Don’t do it, Euron.  You know she’s packing a steel bear trap in that thing.

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Explaining Pee Wee Herman to a Modern Kid

I had the following conversation, more or less, with a kid who discovered Pee Wee Herman while browsing Netflix:

KID:  Why is this guy so…I don’t know.

ME:  Weird?

KID:  Yeah, he’s so stupid.

ME:  He’s like an adult who hasn’t figured out he’s an adult yet so he acts like a kid.

(ME IN MY MIND): Crap.  Should I just tell the kid to turn this off?  I really don’t want this kid thinking it is ok to talk to adults who think they are kids.  Adults who think they are kids are freaking perverts.

KID: Was this a long time ago?

ME: Yes.

KID: Did you watch this when you were a kid?

ME: Yes. All the kids loved to watch Pee Wee when I was a kid. We would watch Pee Wee every Saturday morning and scream real loud whenever he said the secret word.

ME IN MY MIND: Yeah, because it was a more innocent time when there wasn’t a freaking thirty year old who has yet to grow up trying to lure kids into his weirdo bachelor pad on every street corner.  Or perhaps there was just as many adult man child perverts back then but the media didn’t report on it as much because the TV only had like three channels to watch in those days.

KID: He’s funny.

ME:  Yeah he is.  Hey, just an FYI this is all make-believe.  If you ever see an adult who acts like a kid, run away real fast and don’t talk to them ok?  Because adults who act like kids are super weird and they might hurt you because they’re so stupid ok?

KID: OK. How old is Pee Wee?

ME:  I don’t know.  I think he just stays the same age forever.

KID: Is he still alive?

ME: Yes.  He just made a movie.  He looks the same.  He probably exercises and eats his vegetables and colors his hair and stuff.

KID: Why isn’t his show on now?

ME: He got busy.

ME IN MY MIND: He did a terrible thing.  Also, whereas in my day there were a plethora of children’s shows in which neighborhood children would visit the homes of grown adult men they weren’t related to, ranging from Pee Wee, to Mr. Wizard to Mr. Rogers, today, you just don’t see shows like that, because the safest thing a parent can do is chain their kid up so no one gets the kid and especially never allow the kid to visit the home of a random adult and especially not without supervision.

FINAL THOUGHT: I watched “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” with the kid in question and it holds up.  It was so funny back then and it is equally hilarious today.  I feel bad that Pee Wee ruined his career by doing what he did in a porn theater.  I mean, seriously, all that money he made, he couldn’t afford a home VHS?  Seriously.

 

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