TV Review – Rick and Morty

Oh my God, Morty!  We have to review a show about Rick and Morty, Morty!  BURP!  The review has to be good, Morty!  The BQB Blog only has 3.5 readers, Morty!  What are we going to do, Morty?

Hey 3.5.  So after years of hearing about Rick and Morty, I finally checked it out and I am hooked.  I haven’t laughed so hard in so long.  That’s a good thing because I thought comedy had more or less died.

The first thing is this is a TV show on Adult Swim and is NOT for kids at all.  Surprising, for some reason I did think it was a kids’ show but I was wrong.  Lots of gratuitous sex talk, innuendo, situations and swears galore.

The gist is that Rick Sanchez is a Grandpa who, after disappearing for 20 years, returns to his family.  He is a mad scientist and in this show, the most intelligent being of all time, yet it’s hard to wrap your head around it because he is always burping and swearing and engaging in boorish behavior.  Confusing things is that Rick often uses his scientific know-how to travel a) through space b) through time and c) through time lines…meaning more than one version of himself pops up often.

Rick drags his nerdy grandson Morty along on his adventures and it really tears Morty up.  Morty just wants to be a regular kid and can’t deal with the stress of being his grandpa’s intergalactic time traveling helper.  Is this a metaphor about sometimes kids have to grow up too early and help their elders?  Maybe.

Anyway, it has given me a lot of laughs.  I recommend it, Morty.

Burp.  Time to end the review, Morty.  Because we have to, Morty.

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Girl Scouts can Join Boy Scouts

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.  Sooo…I’m all for equality but when I hear stories like this it drives me crazy.

Feminism, I always thought, wasn’t necessarily meant to turn women into men but to ensure women and men had the same opportunities.

At some point it became “women are better than men!” but then also…”Women are not equal until they BECOME men!”

I mean, if women are better than men, then why do women want to become men?  Make up your minds.

I get that the Boy Scouts are allowing girls to join Cub Scouts and Eagle Scouts, supposedly because Girl Scouts don’t cover those age ranges.  I don’t know if that’s true or not.  If you know about scouting please tell me.

At any rate, if that is true, couldn’t the Girl Scouts just increase their programs to include more stuff for girls in those age ranges?

For as long as I can remember there have been Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts and if girls joining Boy Scouts is being celebrated then that basically means everyone is saying that girls aren’t happy unless they become boys.

James Bond must be a girl.  Thor must be a girl.  Boy Scouts must be girls.  Just be girls!  Stop trying to be men!  We are horrible!

Not Morgan Freeman

Ugh I really wish I could get the podcast going:

BQB Movie Trailer

I love this so much. So sad my podcast will most likely never get off the ground but the money I shelled out for this was worth it:

Daily Discussion with BQB – Arthur Schopenhauer on the Misery of Life

Hey 3.5 readers.

Gotta admit, I’m feeling the misery lately.  Actually, my alter ego, the Alleged Man is feeling it.  I’m a fictional character so I feel awesome all the time even after I battle the Yeti, zombies, aliens, chupacabras and werewolves.

Anyway…Arthur Schopenhauer was a curmudgeonly old German prick in the 1800s and the first Western philosopher to incorporate a serious study of Buddhism into his work.

I’m not expert but my general understanding of Buddhism is “We’re all fucked so be happy and don’t let it get you down” whereas Shopenhauer seemed more like, “We’re all fucked and only the sane people are down about it.”

Here’s what he said about “the misery of life:”

“In my 17th year, I was gripped by the misery of life, as Buddha had been in his youth when he saw sickness, old age, pain and death. The truth was that this world could not have been the work of an all loving Being, but rather that of a devil, who had brought creatures into existence in order to delight in their sufferings.”

What do you think, 3.5 readers?  Was the world created by an all loving being that gave us life to make us happy, or was it created by a devil who delights in giving us hope only to take it away?

I can tell you when I turned 30 I began to feel hope fade.  There seemed to be less time…it seemed like I was more locked into choices I’d made, even bad ones.  There was less time to fix mistakes.

Ironically, as I reach 40 (38 soon to be 39) I feel like I was a baby when I was 30.  There was more time to pull out a few fixes but instead I wasted a lot of time on depression and lamentation.

Sigh.  I bet when I turn 50 I’ll feel like I was a baby at 40.  At any rate, the older we get, the less hope we have.  To be 20 is to have an endless supply of options.  You can still believe you’ll be anything because it is still possible.  Now, not so much…and I’m not even getting into the effects aging has on your body, your looks, your ability to physically feel good and do what you want.

It’s pessimistic to be sure but old Artie has a point.  It is hard sometimes to not feel like this world wasn’t created by a devil who delights in watching us move from thinking the world is our oyster where anything is possible in our youth to middle and old age where we lose hope and begin to feel like the world is our prison and a lack of time limits us from fixing past mistakes and re-writing past wrongs.

What say you 3.5?

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Have you read my book yet?

Hey 3.5 readers.  Your old pal BQB here.

Do you want to write like me?  Well, you can’t.  The only way you could conceivably ever be able to write like me would be to invent a time machine and arrange for Ernest Hemingway to bang Jane Austen and somehow become the resulting love child.

No time machine?  Well, sorry, you’re screwed, but that’s ok, I’ll still give you some of my best ideas for the low, low, incredibly low price of 99 cents.  My prices are insane and I’m practically giving my writing prompts away.

You know, 3.5 readers, I’m not trying to guilt you but I do have expenses here at BQB HQ.  I have to keep the moat stocked with toilet gators to keep zombies and solicitors at bay.  I have to keep my yeti cage electrified.  I need to scrape the barnacles off my feet.  Seriously.  This place is hemorrhaging money.

So help me by putting your finger in my financial dyke and buy your copy today.  If you can’t afford 99 cents then take stock of your life choices and stop drinking and get a job so that you can afford a copy of my fine book.

Thank you, 3.5 readers.

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One Year Anniversary of David S. Pumpkins

I can’t believe it’s been one year since David S. Pumpkins.  I’m David Pumpkins, man!  I’m my own thang…

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Happy Friday the 13th (or BQB’s Top Ten List of Mistakes Made by Horror Movie Victims)

Happy Friday the Thirteenth 3.5 readers…

Bookshelf Battle

Hello 3.5 readers!  Are you stuck in a horror movie and being chased by a fictional psychopath?  (Then why are you reading this blog?  RUN!)

But, if you have a minute while said psycho is taking a breather, then Bookshelf Q. Battler is here with the top ten helpful tips to get you through this Friday the 13th, based on all of the horror movies I’ve seen:

10)  Don’t go upstairs.  Only go upstairs if there is no other direction to go in.  If you can go out of the house, then go out of the house.  Really, what do you think will happen when you get upstairs?  The killer just corners you because the only way out of the house when you are upstairs is via a fatal drop to the ground.

9)  Don’t be rude.  In horror movies, rude people tend to buy the farm in epic ways that make…

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Toilet Gator 

I am sorry 3.5 readers. I have failed in my life’s work, the greatest novel ever written about toilets, gators and/or toilet gators.

I shall return to this sacred duty soon:

The First Marvel Day at Sea Disney Cruise 

Hey 3.5 readers. BQB here.

This week I’m having the honor of sailing on the first Disney cruise featuring a Marvel Day at Sea. That means the Avengers walking around the ship, Marvel themed shows, movies, a talk by a Marvel artist etc.

Here’s a photo I snapped as I walked past a dance party with music off of Starlord’s mix tape. Groot and Peter approve, Gomorrah does not.