Movie Review – Hubie Halloween (2020)

Well, I suppose I had to watch it sooner or later.

BQB with a review of Adam Sandler’s latest Netflix movie, “Hubie Halloween.”

I wish I could remember who said this so I could give them credit, and I’m going to be paraphrasing here, but I remember one time a reviewer likened Adam Sandler to a drug dealer in that both provide products that the public consumes and yet both never stop to think if they should. Ouch.

However, as Sandler movies go, this isn’t his worst, and if you’re looking for a film that will put you in the Halloween spirit without being too scary, this will work.

Sandler returns to his Waterboyish demeanor as Hubie Dubois, the constantly dumped on and made fun of town doofus in Salem, MA, which you history buffs may recall was the home of the Salem Witch trials in the 1600s and thus has been the locale of many a Halloween based movie.

Hubie is a man child, having never really grown up. He works in a deli and in his free time, he holds himself out as a self-appointed town volunteer, involving himself in this or that cause on the auspices of being a good citizen but ultimately, you the viewer quickly realize that this guy is so awkward and lonely that he basically volunteers for a reason just to come into contact with people.

His favorite time of year is Halloween and as the town’s self-appointed “Halloween monitor” he spends his days in October snitching on kids who are purchasing absurd amounts of eggs and toilet paper, lecturing school kids on Halloween safety and dodging all the various objects that townsfolk throw at him while riding his biycyle.

Long story short, someone is kidnapping townsfolk on Halloween night and it is up to Hubie and his trusty Swiss Army thermos full of soup to solve the case. Along the way, he’ll have to dodge bullies like Ray Liotta, Time Meadows and Maya Rudolph, collaborate with police officer Kevin James, and win the love of his high school crush (Julie Bowen who I recognized but wasn’t sure from what until I looked it up and realize she played Sandler’s love interest in Happy Gilmore and has still got it!)

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure who this movie is for. Sandler still practices that old school style of unwoke comedy though you can sort of tell it was run through a filter where various suits probably told him “You can’t do this or that or this or that and here’s as far as we’ll let you go.”

As someone who was alive during Sandler’s early heyday, I appreciate his style, though Im not sure many today still do…or then again maybe they do as this movie is ranked in the Netflix’s top ten as of late (at least, last I checked).

It does have some swears and some adult jokes, yet overall it is silly and childish so I can’t see adults loving it – it is Halloween based so you’d think it would be for the kids yet due to the aforementioned swearing and adult jokes, I’m not sure you’d want your young kids to watch it either. I believe it is PG 13 which seems about right.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , , ,

Movie Review – Ava (2020)

Jessica Chastain as a lady assassin. What could go wrong?

Well…it’s not that this movie is all bad, but it could have been a lot better.

There’s star power. Colin Farrell. Geena Davis. John Malkovich. Common.

But alas, the plot is rather thin.

Chastain plays Ava, a woman who, years ago, had a falling out with her family and ran away to join the army and later, become a hitwoman for hire, beholden to a mysterious agency, Malkovich playing Duke, her handler.

The reasoning for the running away from her fam – well, it sucks but in the grand scheme of things, everyone probably has a story or two to tell about the time they came of age and realized that their parents and/or siblings weren’t the heroes they thought they were when they were young. I won’t spoil it but as backstories go, it seems more like a story that would make a young person want to get a job at Walmart and get a crappy apartment just to get some personal space and not the kind of story where you’d become an assassin but whatever.

The story fluctuates between the main plot of Ava vs her agency, i.e. she has begun to question whether it is right to be an assassin and thus the agency wants to take her out before she grows a conscience. It would probably be good if it focused on this, but it delves into sideplots – i.e. Ava returns to her hometown and squabbles with her mother (Geena Davis, once a great beauty and I think it would have been better if she’d grown old gracefully rather than try to cling to youth with plastic surgery but to the flim’s credit this is poked fun at) and her sister, who is now betrothed to Ava’s old boyfriend, played by Common. In a third subplot, Ava takes on the underground gambling operation that Common’s character owes money to.

There are parts where the acting falls a little flat, but I don’t want to call out the offending actors. Not that it matters. Only 3.5 people read this blog anyway.

My feeling is with a better script this movie could have been a lot better but instead it serves as sort of a showcase for the talents of a lot of actors and perhaps a stepping stone for Chastain to enter into the badass female character genre.

But I’ll be honest, if it weren’t for COVID shutting down theaters, I probably wouldn’t have wasted much time with this.

STATUS: Moderately shelf-worthy.

Tagged , ,

GET A FREE BOOK – FOR FREE!!!

FREE is better than paying, 3.5 readers.

No, really. It’s fine. I didn’t want to get paid. Making money is for losers. I just want to put a smile on your face with a free book.

So go on. Grab a copy of my new book, Freefall (A FREE BOOK WITH FREE IN THE TITLE) for FREE!

That’s right. It is FREE for the next 5 days.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Buy My New Book – Freefall

Hey 3.5 readers.

Seriously, isn’t that a great cover?

The latest installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts is now available on Amazon.

The blurb:

When amateur skydiver Larry Rutledge takes his first jump out of a perfectly good airplane only to find his primary and backup ripcords have been sabotaged, he’ll have five minutes and 13,500 feet to figure out how to save his life…if he can. If there’s any time leftover, will he be able to solve the mystery and identify the parachute saboteur? Will it even matter if he doesn’t survive?

A tale of money, an illicit affair, thrills and suspense awaits you in this, the fifth installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts. Do you like “The Twilight Zone?” Do you like “The Outer Limits?” Do you like “Black Mirror?” Well, BQB doesn’t have the budget to make shows as awesome as those, but his self-published journey toward creating an episodic anthology has begun.

Tagged , , , , ,

Community Table Read

Hey 3.5 readers.

Remember Community? Such a funny show.

Late 2000s/early 2010s, Big Bang Theory and Community vied to be the big nerd shows that celebrate nerdery. Big Bang was formulaic while Community was edgier.

I enjoyed it and can’t believe how time has passed since. Anyway, the cast got together for a YouTube table read of the episode Cooperative Polygraphy.

Tagged , , , ,

Freefall Cover

Hey 3.5 readers.

My next installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts is about an average schmuck who goes skydiving for the first time, only to find his primary and backup cords aren’t working.

With 5 minutes before he hits the pavement, he needs to figure out how to save himself, if he can. Also, foul play is suspected, so will he be able to figure out who sabotaged his parachute and why?

Here it is. The cover for BQB’s Twisted Shorts – Volume 1 – Issue 5 – Freefall.

I think this is the best of the 5 covers. The other 5 were great but this, wow, I mean, if you’re browsing through a bookshelf and see this cover, you want to open it up and find out what happens to this guy, don’t you?

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

The No One Reads My Blog Song

No one reads my blog!

Oh, no one reads my blog uh uh og.

No one reads my blog!

Oh no one reads my blog uh uh og.

Why won’t anyone read my blog?

Why does anyone do anything?

Why won’t anyone read my blog?

If you have to ask then you know why!

Oh my blog is read by only 3.5 people,

and that is a very generous estimate.

Really when I blog I am shouting into the vast vacuum of outer space.

My blog is so poorly read that the mob could have hidden Jimmy Hoffa on my site and no one would know!

Oh my blog! No one reads it!

But maybe they will some day.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have 3.5 readers.

So at least I have that anyway.

Tagged , ,

Movie Review – Enola Holmes (2020)

Add a dash of girl power, a pinch of adventure and sprinkle a heaping helping of fourth wall breaking and you have a new Netflix film based on the popular young adult novels about Sherlock Holmes’ younger sister.

When her mother (Helena Bonham Carter) goes missing, Enola (Millie Bobbie Brown) turns to brothers Sherlock and Mycroft for help. Sherlock (Henry Cavil as a Sherlock who looks like he’d prefer to bench press clues rather than search for them) is sympathetic to his younger sister’s tom boyish nature, while Mycroft (Sam Claflin) is the patriarchy personified in that he just wants to ship Enola off to a finishing school for girls where Enola will learn how to be a wife and a mother and never ever ever do anything fun ever again.

Yeah, not gonna lie. This film is all about hearing women roar in numbers too loud too ignore.

Finding her older bros useless, Enola sets out to London on her own in search of her mother, only to find a young lord on the run as well. A murderous villain is hot on the lord’s trail and together…yadda yadda yadda, just watch it.

The movie does run a bit long and there are the occasional acts of violence that seem out of place for a young adult movie. It does meander between plots and at times it seems the writers weren’t sure if Enola should be searching for her mother or helping the young lord escape but all in all, it’s fun, though it does run a bit long.

Ultimately, this movie might be Millie Bobbie Brown’s ticket to bigger, better things. She has wowed us as Eleven in Netflix’s runaway hit, Stranger Things and appeared in the latest Godzilla movie, but this movie gives her a chance to display a wide array of emotions. I dare say it looks like she might be one of those lucky child actors who gets to go on to stardom as an adult, if this movie is any indication.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , ,

TV Review – 11.22.63

What if you could change a terrible tragedy? Would you?

In this Hulu produced miniseries based on Stephen King’s book, James Franco stars as Jake Epping, a high school English teacher thrust into a time traveling mission filled with twists and turns.

After discovering that there’s a time portal in the back room of his friend Al’s burger joint that leads to the early 1960s, and that Al (Chris Cooper) has been diagnosed with cancer, thus rendering him unable to complete his plan to save JFK from assassination, Jake takes on the plan himself, finding friendship, love, and peril along the way.

You know, the one thing I’ll give to this series is that it educated me on a lot of things that I never knew. I always assume that Lee Harvey Oswald was a random nut who acted alone. I’m still not entirely convinced he wasn’t. However, when you consider that Oswald defected from America to Russia (its usually the other way around) and came back to America and befriended a wealthy Russian businessman with connections to the Russian government, plus a whole host of other irregularities, it does make you wonder if this might not have been the greatest conspiracy followed by the greatest coverup of all time.

I won’t bog you down by going into other issues surrounding the case. King does that well, in a fictional format that is thrilling to watch.

I wonder if this isn’t a book that King had in mind for a long time and perhaps published it later than he would have liked. Epping is a HS teacher, as King once was. King would have been a kid when national hero JFK was assassinated, ushering in a sad era for the country. Perhaps King always harbored a fantasy of being able to save him and this book brings that notion to life.

Anyway, it’s a fun series and the disparities between times are interesting. We see little differences throughout. Food wasn’t bogged down with preservatives back then, so Jake enjoys a good piece of fresh pie (in the book, it’s root beer). Then again, no one cared about the environment in the 1960s, so everything from factories to cars belched smoked with reckless abandon. Cars have gotten better. Factories? Could be better. At least people don’t whip trash out of their car windows anymore. I remember people doing that when I was a kid in the 1980s.

The series isn’t without its plotholes. Jake takes the mission on rather haphazardly without thinking. The typical “should we be messing with time” question of all time travel movies seems to go largely ignored until the end.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , , ,

What is your favorite Avengers movie?

For me, it’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

The plot is pretty intricate, like a comic book spy thriller with lots of twists and turns. The part where SPOILER Nick Fury gets pinned down by bad guys while his car AI is rebooting is particularly intense.

My second favorite would have to be Captain America: Civil War. I guess I’m partial to Captain America movies.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

Tagged , ,