Monthly Archives: November 2017

Daily Discussion with BQB – New York Times’ “Nazi Next Door” Story

Hey 3.5.

BQB here.

“Show, don’t tell.” It’s the number one rule of writing.  Trust your reader.  Show what’s going on…and you won’t need to tell them.

It’s the difference between grabbing attention and in so doing, getting the point across, or just lecturing in a boring college class style.

The New York Times ran a “Nazi Next Door” story, dubbed “A Voice of Hate in America’s Heartland” by Richard Fausset.

The story chronicles the life of a young man in his mid-20s.  He’s recently married.  He and his wife shop at Target.  He likes Seinfeld and pop culture and oh, yeah, he’s a white nationalist.

Critics were quick to get up the Times’ butt and look I’ll be the first to criticize the Times or any other paper because journalism on the whole is on the decline.  However, the criticism that came at the times is that this story “normalizes” Nazi-ism, racism, etc by talking about this guy as though he is just a normal guy misses the point.

The point, in my opinion, when you read the article, seems to be that one should be very afraid that there are seemingly normal people like the subject of this article – on the outside they get married, they go shopping, they watch TV, they do all sorts of normal things but in their spare time, they pursue activities in racist organizations so…yeah.

Like, a Nazi with a swastika tattooed on his forehead wearing a German WW2 helmet and a Hitler mustache waving a “Heil Hitler” flag should scare you….but at least you can see that guy coming.  You can spot him from a mile away and step to the other side of the street.

The guys that are, by all outward appearances, normal, who blend in and engage in the usual activities but, oh yeah, they also are actively involved in racist movements…those should scare you even more…because that guy could be shopping right next to you in the store or what have you and maybe you know him, trust him, what have you and then boom…he’s not what you thought he was.  He was a white nationalist all along.

That’s what I took away from the story.  Be very afraid of the “Nazi next door” the evil dude that might be under your nose plotting evil doings and you might not know about it until it’s too late.

People, you’ve got to get smarter.  The Times showed.  They didn’t tell.  I read it.  I got the point.  If you thought they needed to slap a big banner on the article, “Hey in case you missed it this guy is a racist!” – you missed the point.  The point is there may be a lot of people who hold themselves out to the world as normal but in the meantime they pursue evil activities.

At any rate, I don’t believe the Times meant to say, “This guy is a great guy! He’s super normal!”  They meant to say, “Um, it’s a little creepy that there are guys like this who at a first glance appear normal and you wouldn’t know what their up to just by looking at them…”

Learn to read with an eye for the point.

Discuss.

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Matthew McConaughey Impersonation

Alright, alright, alright.

3.5 readers, all I can say is I love being alive in a time when you can get a dude to impersonate Matthew McConaughey for you for a reasonable price.  Would that this technology had existed when I was 20.  I would have taken over the world.

This is so funny, and the impressionist sounds just like him:

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Roy Moore and Al Franken

I don’t like to get into politics on this blog.  I really don’t.  But it just seems like, Republicans have an alleged pervert (always have to say alleged for legal reasons) and Democrats have an alleged pervert.

Each side doesn’t want to throw their alleged pervert overboard and lose a vote in the Senate, but it feels like this is a rare opportunity for both sides to come together and say that they don’t tolerate alleged perversions in their ranks and kick both alleged perverts overboard.

Republicans throw out Moore, Democrats throw out Franken and neither side is worse off, both sides lost exactly one alleged pervert.  Seems like a rare opportunity here for the parties to show they don’t approve of alleged chicanery and end up no worse off than they were before if both sides kick out one person.

Discuss.

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SNL – Thanksgiving at Wayne Manor

“Who y’all talkin’ ’bout?  Batman?  Somebody needs to do something’ about him.”

As a comic book nerd, I really enjoyed this sketch.  Participants in the Wayne Manor Thanksgiving food drive complain about how Batman is profiling them, constantly coming into their neighborhoods, breaking their jaws, zip lining them up 30 stories into the air by their underpants and leaving them hanging by gargoyles.

Excessive force, Batman.  Excessive force.  Gotta chill out, buddy.

Complaint – I love Leslie Jones but I wish she’d work a little more on her timing and delivery.  I see this over and over with her sketches.  She flubs lines and then it takes me out of the sketch and takes me a minute to get back in.  She’s very funny, has a lot of talent and pretty much carried that Ghostbusters movie on her back, but I hope she’ll work on her live delivery a little more.

Observation – I think Beck Bennett might be a better Wayne than Affleck.

 

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Bookshelf Battle Log #4 – Masterbating Goblins Are the Worst

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3.5 readers, I have to let you in on a piece of information that’s well known to the monster fighting community but is a virtual secret to the general public.

Goblins are chronic masterbaters.  Seriously, they are never NOT tossing the monkey, slapping the salami, bopping the baloney or what have you.

You know what’s worse?  They have these bright yellow, beady little eyes and while you’re trying to sleep, they just stare at you and fap, fap, fap away, tugging at their tiny, syphillis ridden goblin dongers.  Their faces are usually like, one to two inches away from yours.

You ask them to move, they just sort of go, “Ungh” and then fap faster.  And there’s never a release.  Like, what’s the point?

I know.  Disgusting.  I’m telling you this because I’m currently babysitting and/or protecting one such masterbating goblin.  Why would I want to do that?  I really don’t want to, but he’s a witness in a case being brought in an underground world.  He saw one masterbating goblin murder another masterbating goblin.  The masterbating goblin mafia was involved.

You know what?  I’ve said too much.  Long story short, the Council of Masterbating Goblin Justice asked me to protect the little guy until he can give his testimony…while masterbating.

Oddly enough, I’m honored to have been asked…though I really wish the little guy would stop masterbating…and also to stop staring at me with his face an inch away from mine.

Did I mention that if you do eventually succumb to exhaustion and fall asleep, the little asshole will start licking your toes?  Last night I feel asleep and when I woke up, my toes were like prunes…covered in spit.

God, I hope that was only spit.  I might have to double check and make sure they don’t release.  Stupid masterbating goblins.

Hey reader, this is the worst segway ever, but while I’m busy keeping an eye on this masterbating goblin, keep yourself entertained by checking out my movie reviews.  I watch more movies than I read books.  Ironically, I should have named myself “Moviescreen Q. Watcher” but I don’t have the energy to change my name now.

Down, masterbating goblin!  Down!  You’re bad masterbating goblin!  Bad, bad!

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Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts is the Perfect Gift…

…for someone you only mildly care about.  I mean, seriously, if we’re talking about your wife, you can give her a copy, but add a diamond ring, a car, or a trip to Hawaii, you cheap son of a bitch.  Don’t go blaming your divorce on me just because I said my book was a good gift.

Read the fine print. I said it’s a good gift for someone you only mildly care about.  Like that guy at work who thinks he’s your best friend but you can barely remember his name.  That guy is a 99 cent book of writing prompts kind of a friend.

Your mistress?  She needs a gold bracelet and some earrings.  Seriously, handle your shit, son, before your wife and mistress start telling each other about each other’s existence.

This is all very facetious.  As if any of my readers have social lives…

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Sometimes I Wonder if I Bit Off More Than I Can Chew With This Blog…

…the whole idea just seems very complicated.  Perhaps I should trash it and try something else.  Discuss.

Merry Christmas 

Hey 3.5 readers. BQB here.

I was just going through past Christmas posts and came across this one, photographic evidence that Bookshelf Q. Battle Dog is not exactly the most imposing head of security. You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but he has actually eaten 2,983 intruders alive, each one in a single gulp.

But he needs to work on getting himself a more intimidating appearance. Maybe I should trade him in for a Rottweiler.

Bookshelf Battle

Merry Christmas 3.5 readers.


Bookshelf Q. Battledog, World’s Worst Security Dog

No wonder the Yeti is always taking over BQB HQ.

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Bookshelf Battle Cast – Episode 003 – “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens – Stave 3 – The Second of the Three Spirits – Analysis and Discussion Questions

vintage-1705170_1280Scrooge’s reckoning with his crusty ways continues, though his ghostly visitor is more pleasant this time.  The Ghost of Christmas Present is a big ass baller, a giant of a man, full of food and drink, joviality and laughter, tooling around in a fine robe with a wreath on his head, hardly a care in the world.

Yes, the present is the best time to be in.  The past is unchangeable and thus to think of it can lead to regret.  The future is unknown.  The only time we can be effective in is now…right now…before right now becomes the past…oh no, now just became the past, oh no it happened again, but wait the next moment is in the future, it’s in the present and oh, crap, it’s in the past again.

See how quickly life moves?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

#1 – The Ghost of Christmas Present states that all sorts of things happen “in his name” i.e. hatred, bigotry and so on but urges Scrooge to charge these wrongdoings to those who would perpetrate them, not the ghost.  What does the ghost mean by this?

#2 – Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Present visit the Cratchitts and see how happy this poor, not very handsome family is, despite the fact that they all live lives of hard labor, meager wages and little ability to improve their situation.  Scrooge is then taken on a tour where he finds miners, light house keepers and others working dismal jobs in the worst locales are all having a grand time.  Scrooge has fat stacks of cash yet he is miserable, whereas there are so many carefree poor people.  What gives?  What is the message Dickens is trying to tell us?

#3 – Tiny Tim is the epitome of man’s ability to change the future by acting in the present…before an ill fate becomes written into the past.  Scrooge must act now in the present to help Tiny Tim, to provide the family with the money needed to get Tim extra care, medicine, and help.  If Scrooge does not act now, Tiny Tim will die, and all that will remain is a memorialized little crutch in the corner of his family’s home.

Are there any warning signs in your life of a dismal future if swift, decisive action is not taken now?  Consider what negative fates might befall you or those you love if a negative situation is not change.  Do you foresee a way in which change is possible?  What steps will you take to make positive change happen?

#4 – The Ghost of Christmas Present reveals that two “children” have been clinging to him all this time – “Ignorance” and “Want.”  These two children or rather, states, mess up the present something awful.  When people are ignorant, i.e., stupid they make bad decisions that lead to a destroyed future.  Often, bad decisions are made in the name of “want,” i.e. people who covet material possessions over positive life experiences.

What will you do to rid your life of ignorance and want?

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Rate the Bookshelf Battle Cast!

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

CHECK OUT MY PODCAST HERE

So…I don’t have a big interest in becoming a podcaster at this time.  My voice sucks, my improv skills stink, my main talent lies in writing so that’s what I need to focus on.

But I’ve been toying with the idea here, learning Garageband when I could…I figured it couldn’t hurt to read “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens and see how it goes.  Sadly, I have found all sorts of errors and all around shittyness just after listening to the two episodes, but each time I make one I learn how to improve for next time.

Should I take them down and fix them?  Probably.  But I think for now it’s just a learning exercise and getting them produced and up there.  I’d like to finish “A Christmas Carol” reading and then get back to my writing and not worry about podcasting for awhile.

It’s water I’d like to dip my toe in but isn’t really my forte.

I do think if I could improve there would be some service i.e. you could listen to me read public domain fiction rather than pay for audio books.  On the other hand, I’m a shitty reader who coughs a lot and sounds like I have a mouthful of farts so you get what you pay for.

It’s on iTunes.  It’s on Soundcloud.  The link above is for iTunes.

Follow me on Soundcloud here.

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