Tag Archives: self publishing

A Self-Publishing Milestone – Johnny B. Truant’s Fat Vampire Becomes a TV Show

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

You know who really got me into self-publishing? A trio of super cool dudes by the names of Johnny B. Truant, Sean Platt, and David Wright. Johnny, Sean and Dave of “The Self-Publishing Podcast.”

I started blogging in 2014 with the idea that I’d try to write a novel and submit it to traditional publishers. Then I started seeing a lot of bloggers talking about self-publishing. Before I knew it, I was down the rabbit hole and found this podcast that was very funny, all about three friends following their dream of self-publishing success, sharing the lessons they learned, the mistakes they made and interviewing others who had done great things all without assistance from the gatekeepers of the publishing industry.

Their best-known non-fiction work, which doubles as their mantra, is “Write, Publish, Repeat” in which they make the case for writers to put in the work. You need to publish…a lot. Readers are hungry but they have access to so much free material that you have to put a lot out there before they start parting with the moolah.

Over the years (I think they began in earnest in 2012) they have published a ton of books. So many that I always wondered, given the sheer volume of their catalog, how the heck hasn’t one of their books been Hollywood-ized yet?

Well…their big day in the sun is here. Johnny B. wrote a comedy horror series called “Fat Vampire.” I believe this was one of his first books. It follows the plight of Reginald, an overweight man named Reginald who in life, really wanted to lose weight but couldn’t and thus suffered all the indignities that come with being plus sized.

And then he gets a vamp bite. Now a vampire, he falls in with a league of typically sexy brooding vamps. Alas, as those who know vamp lore will tell you, how you were as a human when you were bitten will be how you always are as a vamp. Poor Reginald will live forever but he can never lose weight. He is forever trapped as a fat vampire. Even though he rises through the ranks and proves himself worthy, he will forever be poked fun of by the other vamps for his fatness.

I noticed the book got a new title. “Reginald the Vampire” will be played by Spiderman’s BFF actor Jacob Batalon on SyFy. It seems the whole crux of the series is a chubby dude who wants to change but is forever locked into his chubbyness and the lack of respect from his peers that comes with it no matter what great victories he achieves so I hope they will at least grasp that.

But anyway, this is a victory for the SPP dudes, one a long time in the making. Very well deserved and proof to the rest of you self-publishers out there that you can do it.

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“But BQB,” you say. “I’m trying to save money because gas prices are higher than a clone made from a mix of the DNA of Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg and Woody Harrelson.”

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I’m Number 1! I’m Number 1!

My short story, “The Phone Did It” about one man’s cell phone that commits crimes in his name while he sleeps, is the number 1 free technothriller on Amazon today.

Ha! Eat your heart out, Dan Brown!

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Eight Years of this Exceptional Blog

Memories, like the corners of my mind…I can’t finish that song. I don’t want to infuriate Babs Streisand copyright lawyer.

Eight years ago in March I started this exceptional blog and eight years later, I have acquired upwards of 3.5 readers. How do I do it? Beats me.

2021 and as it turns out, 2022 thus far have been sad in the life of BQB. However, I am confronting a lot of my mistakes and problems and ultimately, hoping for five minutes of peace and contentment before I reach the end of my life’s journey, hopefully longer yet.

Anyway, here are some thoughts as I look back at eight years of bloggery:

#1 – The coolest thing I did on this blog was #31zombieauthors. Feel free to search this site for that hashtag if you like. Each day in Halloween of 2015 I posted a different interview of an author of zombie fiction and was surprised to actually score a few decent sized names in zombie lore and/or self publishing.

#2 – I self published my first book on Amazon in 2017. I self published a second one in 2018 but took it off because it didn’t really go anywhere (it was intended as a series I never got around to continuing.

#3 – Terrible as the pandemic was, especially at its height, I managed to use the time for a lot of writing. I self published 7 short stories and a collection of those stories, bringing my overall Amazon catalog to 9 books.

#4 – I’m due to self publish Shop Buddy this year and I think I might be able to self publish one book every third of the year i.e. by May 1, Sept 1 and Jan 1 2023.

#5 – I used to get a lot more comments and readers chiming in but that stopped. It might have been because my blog was new in the early years but I used to put my work into it whereas I eventually realized I don’t have enough time for everything, so I turned my attention to self publishing and less on blogging. I did blog once a day in 2015 which helped build the blog up, even though it only has 3.5 readers.

Anyway, thank you for being my 3.5 readers. Travel down the road and back a-geeters? Your hearts are true, you’re my pals and my confidants.

SIDENOTE: My main regret for this fine blog? In the beginning, I just wanted to get into blogging so I came up with a random idea to snap a pic of some action figures on my bookshelf. My idea was that I was going to post book reviews and post the books I reviewed in the midst of action figures doing funny things on said bookshelf.

But that was too much work. For a long time I did character posts, writing columns as silly characters.

Now it is pretty just me and my movie reviews. Things evolve I suppose.

Oh, my regret. Yeah, I’d pick a name other than Bookshelf Q. Battler. I knew nothing of self publishing when I first started blogging, but once I blogged about writing, I dove down the rabbit hole, learning all about people who have successfully built their own book publishing businesses and I wanted in. So if I’d known that from the start, I’d pick a cool name like Lance Hardrock or something. I’ve noticed writers with even ridiculous nom de plumes get more respect if their fake names are at least names. Meanwhile half my Amazon reviews are like, “Fuck you! You’re an inanimate object!” I mean they obviously arent that bad but it feels like there’s a weird psychological thing where people are cool posting smack about a dude named after an inanimate object whereas people are like “I cant hurt Dirk Rippedpecs’ feelings!”

In short I wish I’d known up front that this would eventually morph into a blog about my self publishing endeavors and movie reviews. I would have picked a cooler name up front.

I suppose it’s not too late to become Lance Hardrock. I only have 3.5 readers but then again, that’s better than the 0 readers I began with.

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Merry Christmas, 3.5 Readers

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal, BQB here.

Tis the season for looking back and reflecting and with my overall goal of becoming a super awesome big time fancy writer, I have to take stock of how far I advanced toward that goal.

This year, I published three books:

In January, I put out “The Second Death” about a fame seeking weirdo who seeks long lasting infamy, the kind that survives long after his demise.

In February, I published a collection of six short stories – “BQB’s Twisted Shorts: The Complete First Volume.” Werewolves, superheroes, sabotaged skydivers, wacky conspiracy theorists and more.

And finally, in March I published “The Phone Did It.” This one popped into my head at random and I felt it was inspired. It’s about a salesman with an unusual product, an automated cell phone that knows you so well, it just does whatever you would have done anyway. Ahh, but what if said salesman has demented thoughts that he would have never acted on without a soul-less mobile device willing to do the dirty deeds for him?

Funny, I published three books in the first three months of the year. I hoped I would keep it up and publish one book a month but unfortunately I stalled out by April. The key seems to be to publish very short books, approximately 100 pages or so. The longer the book, the longer it takes to publish. Even so, 3 books in a year is pretty good and here’s hoping I can add to my BQB Amazon catalog in 2022.

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I’m Number 1! I’m Number 1!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Just a fun note. Thanks to a Freebooksy feature, my short story, Freefall is as of this post:

1 in 90-Minute Literature & Fiction Short Reads

1 in 90-Minute Mystery, Thriller & Suspense Short Reads

2 in Single Authors Short Stories

Sorry, I didn’t know it would make the text that big when I cut and pasted it. Also, it is number 91 Free in the kindle store, which if my memory serves, I believe that is the first time I ever cracked the top 100 free.

In total, I was able to give away 1,055 free copies in one day of this fine book about a man who guys skydiving only to discover his primary and backup ripcords have been sabotaged.

As a bonus, 6 copies of my other books were sold. The proceeds were big enough that I can supersize my next taco. I know, sometimes it is frustrating…you give away 1,000 books and only sell 6…but I’ve noticed that when you do a promo like this, the reviews and ratings tend to trickle in over the next few months, which I assume means people grab up a free copy, then let it sit on their virtual shelf until they get around to reading it. At any rate, at least 1,000 copies are out there.

BTW, as some free self publishing advice, it really is all about the cover. I have done 2 freebooksy features for most of my books (a few I have only done 1). For all, I noticed a good return the first time, and a declining return the next time, which I assume a lot of people who use freebooksy grabbed it before and weren’t as interested the second time around (though the returns were still enough to make it worth buying a second feature.)

But this second go around for Freefall, the returns were still high, which tells me people see this poor schmuck holding his cut ripcord and want to find out what happens. Do you want to find out what happens? Grab your free copy!

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