Monthly Archives: February 2021

GET MY WRITING PROMPTS BOOK FOR FREE!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal, BQB, here.

Get my Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts for FREE! TOTALLY FREE! No money down. Just get your free copy today FOR FREE!

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Free Book Stat Thoughts

Hey 3.5 readers.

So, I’ve gotten hooked on Freebooksy as of late.

I’ve done a few free book promos with them and have a couple more to go. Overall, I’m pleased with the results as I’ve been averaging somewhere between 1500-1600 books given away on each book. I think there might have been one book where it was more like 1100-1200. Still, I’ve never been able to hit these numbers or come anywhere close to it on my own, so I’m sold. I’ll be using them well into the future.

What’s cool is each time I usually get at least one review for the books and some ratings. Social proof seems invaluable. Customers have a lot of options so before they buy your book, they want to see the reviews.

The frustrating part is giving away 1500 books and then only getting like 1 or 2 reviews. I figure a lot of people just pick up the book for free because it was free then never read it. More still will leave it on their virtual shelf for awhile then dust it off and read it later.

Overall, the numbers game is staggering. How many books do I have to give away to get like, 5 reviews? How many do I have to give away before I make actual moolah? Does anyone ever make actual moolah?

I have been focusing on short stories as of late because, short as they are, they get done. I’ve spent years focusing on full length novels that always need another revision, another tweak, another problem where I write myself into a corner and have to start all over again. Short stories are easier, take less time, cost less to get edited and formatted….but ultimately they cost less. I’ve generally found no one will pay more than .99 cents for a short story, which is understandable.

Sometimes I think about getting back to my novels. On the other hand, the short stories are actually getting done and it is hard to argue with a process that is getting something done.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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GET A FREE BOOK!

I’m Crazy BQB and my book prices are insane! My latest book is priced to move and all virtual copies must go!

3.5 readers, today through Tuesday, you can get a FREE copy of my short story, The End is Nigh, about a wacky conspiracy theorist who stumbles upon something real when a certain government agency that may or may not exist starts chasing him.

Should you get a FREE copy? Yes, because it is a FREE copy and FREE stuff is awesome.

Do you need to read it if you get it for FREE? Yes, you should because it’s funny and witty and awesome like all my books and I say that with great humility but if you don’t want to, that’s fine. It’s a FREE country which coincidentally, my book is also FREE.

Go on. GET YOUR FREE BOOK!

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You Can Still Get a FREE BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal, BQB here.

Today and tomorrow, you can still get a FREE copy of my book, the second death, a short story/mystery/thriller about a fame obsessed weirdo looking to achieve his 15 minutes of fame at any cost.

Thanks to a Freebooksy promo, I gave away approximately 1500 copies of this fine book this weekend, and there’s still time, so get your FREE COPY!

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GET A FREE BOOK…FOR FREE!

Hey 3.5 readers. This weekend, you can get my book, The Second Death (A BQB Twisted Short) for FREE, which means you don’t have to pay for it.

That’s right. You can save your money and spend it on comic books and bubble gum instead, or better yet, put it in the bank and let it compound interest for 1,000 years so you can become uber rich. It’s your money. Do want you want with it. The key here is you don’t have to spend it on my book, because my book is totes FREE!

Inspired by the poem “The To-be Forgotten” by Thomas Hardy, The Second Death is about a fame obsessed wacko who spends an entire day hatching outlandish schemes, all in an effort to attract the media attention he so desperately craves…and the FBI agents who track him down.

3.5 readers…Valentine’s Day is tomorrow so if you’re a big cheapo skinflint, you could get a free copy of this book for your sweetie…and then enjoy bachelorhood because no self-respecting woman wants a book for V-Day. You could get her a free copy of this book plus a dozen roses and a diamond necklace and so on. That would probably work out better.

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Buy My Book!

Six shorts. One book. This will be the best thing you buy today, unless you buy a unicorn, then it will tie for the best thing you buy today:

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Now Would Have Been a Great Time for a New Sopranos Season

James Gandolfini passed way, way too soon and among the many, many reasons why this was tragic is that with the roll out of HBO MAX, now would have been a good time for a new season of The Sopranos, one to wrap all the lingering questions that were never fully answered.

Like most 2000s era people, I was glued to this show back in the day. Lately, I’ve been watching it over on HBO MAX and I have to say, it’s a strange experience, comparing how I felt when I watched it when I was young and now that I am old. In other words, when I first watched it, I was around the age of Tony’s kids and now I’m watching it again around the same age as Tony himself. Wow, time moves fast.

So many questions were left unresolved by that series finale which left most of America wacking their TV sets, thinking they’d gone on the fritz when a potential hit on the Soprano clan (or maybe it was just a guy going to the bathroom) was set up only for the screen to go straight to black.

In David Chase’s defense, I’m not sure there was a finale that could have ever made everyone happy. The weird thing about the show is that on one level, nearly every character was either a degenerate scumbag, or a friend or family member suffering due to their loved one’s scumbaggery. On another level, it was about family and yet on another level, it was about strategic planning.

Ergo, there was a lot strange water cooler talk in the 2000s. “Hey, I think Tony should wack Johnny Sack.” and “Really? I think that would just start a war with New York.” Kind of how like the water talk of the 2010s was about dragons and fantasy worlds and crap thanks to Game of Thrones.

Right about now, Tony would be an older man about 60. His kids would be (wow) roughly middle-aged or about there. Some questions that could be answered:

#1 – As the show progressed, Carmella moved from dutiful mob wife to a strong woman who yearned for independence. For years, she blamed Tony and wished he would end his philandering, crooked ways. Then, she eventually wised up and realized in this world, people treat you with the level of respect that you accept. She stuck around through the philandering, so Tony didn’t stop philandering. She looked the other way on the mob debauchery because the proceeds allowed her to live in a nice house and have nice things. Ultimately, she sought to get away from all of this. She got her real estate broker’s license. Began making her own income. Kicked Tony out. I think they got back together but I dpn’t remember for sure how it went down, if Tony mended at least his pervy ways or not. At any rate, it would have been interesting to see if Carmella ever achieved her dream of supporting herself through legit means while having a man who loved her and felt she was enough and wouldn’t cheat and so on.

#2 – Same thing with the kids. The older they got, the more they wised up. Their dad was a crook and all the fancy stuff they got was from the proceeds of mafia crookery. If they wanted legit lives, they’d have to distance themselves from their old man. Meadow was motivated and looked like she was on the way to becoming a lawyer. Maybe in a new season, she’d end up as a Congresswoman or something, dogged by her dad’s evil doings and needing to put distance between herself and him. Meanwhile, AJ was left in the lurch. There was good in him and he had the capacity to succeed but he was also kind of a lazy little prick, too comfortable living off his dad’s money and there was a danger he might eventually either become a wiseguy himself (unlikely as he lacked the toughness) or maybe he’d just become like, a jerk who sat around all day.

#3 – I could go on and on. I always felt like the last season was rushed. Christopher and Adriana going on the run would have been more interesting than the way they resolved the whole situation with Adriana turning state’s witness. Maybe their deaths could turn out to be dreams and it turns out they moved to Vermont to start a bed and breakfast. Christopher finally beat his substance addiction. Then again, it’s hard to watch these episodes where Christopher beats Adriana senseless and it makes me wonder why she doesn’t leave him except I guess money is so hard to come by that sometimes spouses and/or significant others talk themselves into putting up with a lot of shit as long as they are provided for financially.

Anyway, I started watching all the old episodes because of the news of “The Many Saints of Newark” movie, due later this year, a prequel starring Gandolfini’s son about how a young Tony Soprano got into organized crime.

I’m no mind reader, but this new movie makes me wonder if Chase wouldn’t have been open to the idea of a wrap up season to help boost HBO MAX. Does Tony end up on trial? In jail? Does he beat everyone? Does he get killed? Who knows?

As I watch the old shows, I notice Tony has a fear of ending up old and alone like his Uncle Junior, or busted and he notes elderly 80 something NYC crime boss Carmine Lupertazzi reigned till an old age because he gave orders through his son, i.e. his blood and so Tony was grooming Christopher to be his mouthpiece so that it would be Christopher who got pinched instead of him.

Anyway, I could talk Sopranos all day and my last observation is that it really did usher in a new golden age of television. I read that Chase first pitched the idea to network television and I’m glad they turned it down because there’s no way the show could have had the impact it did if it weren’t on paid cable. Here, you saw the mob life in all its gritty horror – people being murdered as a business decision, people being chopped up, men pretending to be good husbands and fathers while grabbing any side pieces they could. Funny, I remember back then their were concerns that the show glorified the mob life but if you watch it, then if anything you realize this isn’t any kind of a life at all. These guys are nuts, paranoid, constantly looking over their shoulder, never enjoying a minute of relaxation or security, always wondering when the hit will be called on them. Money is truly the root of all evil and you get the impression that if Tony could do it all over again, he’d probably become a used car salesman or something.

I do wonder though if the show could make it in today’s woke age. The characters said and did horrible things….constantly…and back then context was understood i.e. the shows creators weren’t endorsing what the Sopranos and co. did or said but rather, where putting the mob life on full display, with all of the dirty, disgusting warts and all.

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FREE BOOK FEBRUARY!!!

Alien Jones Peruses a Free BQB Book

I’m Crazy BQB and my prices are insane! YEEHAW!

3.5 readers, my prices are so low that a rattle snake could shimmy right underneath them. Boy howdy, let me tell you, if I lower these prices any lower, I’d have to get my head examined. Heck, come to think of it, you can’t do better on a price that’s free, can you? I’d have to start paying people to read my books, which I mean, if Amazon ever allows it, I wouldn’t be against it but I digress.

First up:

Hoo dawgies! Are y’all into dystopian fiction? Well, you’re in luck. The One That Got Away is FREE this weekend! That means, right now! Why are you still here? Click above and get your free gosh darn copy! It’s about a miserable drunk whose wish that his long lost love hadn’t dumped him was granted, only to wake up in a world where he’s married…and the father of the most evil dictator in world history. Not exactly the feel good story of the year, but totes worth a perusal.

NEXT UP:

The Second Death! Yeah, I know. This probably isn’t going to be the feel good book of the summer either, but it’ll be FREE Feb 12 – 16, right on Valentine’s Day weekend, so if you’re a big cheap skinflint, you can get your Smoochy Poo a copy of this free book, though I advise against it because it isn’t easy being single. At least get her a diamond bracelet and some flowers too or something.

What’s it about? A fame obsessed wacko concocts a cacophony of outrageous schemes, each more twisted than the last, all designed to attract the media attention he so desperately desires. It all adds up to the day from hell for FBI agents Rick Nash and Ramona Cruz.

NEXT UP:

Alien invasions! Sasquatch assassins! Poisonous Pomeranians! Lizard people attacks! There’s no conspiracy theory too wacky for goofy old Harry Blanding to peddle from his post at the Broad Street subway stop. Some commuters think he is nutso. Others think he is hilarious…but one government agency that may or may not exist isn’t laughing.

Get your FREE copy of The End is Nigh February 19-23.

Ninja bunnies! Professional shark punchers! Rude unicorns! This ain’t your grandma’s writing prompt book. Get your free copy Feb 26 – March 2 and maybe one day you’ll start a blog read by only 3.5 readers like BQB.

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Get a FREE BOOK for FREE!!!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

Go on over to Amazon and get this FREE BOOK for FREE which means you don’t have to pay for it because it is FREE.

What if the worst thing that ever happened to you was the best thing for the world? When a mysterious stranger gives down on his luck drunk Evan Brooks a trial run of the world in which his long lost love never left, he discovers that by sticking together, they had a son who ended up as the worst dictator in history. Will Evan be able to put his own selfish desires aside to save the world?

Check it out in this BQB Twisted Short:

(Which is FREE, you big cheapskate)

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BQB’s Twisted Shorts – First Volume Cover

Werewolves! Retired superheroes! Wacky conspiracy theorists! Parachutists with sabotaged parachutes!

Soon, you will be able to buy all six of my twisted shorts in one book. Check out the cover for BQB’s Twisted Shorts – The Complete First Volume

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