Tag Archives: movie reviews

Movie Review – The Girl in the Spider’s Web (2018)

Thrills!  Chills!  Vacuum bags!

BQB here with a review of “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Off the bat, I’m going to address some of the criticism I’ve been reading about this movie.  The reviewers have been saying this is a cheap reboot, a makeover in the age of superhero movies, turning the great Lisbeth Salander from a deep character to a cookie cutter heroine that can be mass produced for endless sequels.

Balderdash, I say.  In the late 2000s and early 2010s, Stieg Larrson’s “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” series about a young goth punk chick hacker and bitter middle aged journalist Mikael Blomkvist who team up together to fight crime in Sweden was all the rage.

Alas, for whatever reason, no American sequels were made immediately after 2011’s “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (featuring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara).  The original Swedish films starring Noomi Rapace live on, chronicling the entire three book series and I found them enjoyable and in some ways, better than the American version as they were more authentically Swedish (obviously) though they lacked the big budget explosions and effects that Hollywood can provide.

Back to the critics, I think they misunderstood the film.  Salander’s character isn’t dumbed down into a superhero.  Far from it.  Unlike every time there’s a new Batman movie and some Hollywood suit insists that half the film be spent on watching young Bruce Wayne’s parents get gunned down on the way home from the theater for the 1,000th time, this movie is an immediate continuation of the 2011 film, just with new actors.

In other words, the audience isn’t treated as a bunch of dummies.  Salander’s whole history isn’t rehashed, her relationship with Blomvquist isn’t explained, you, the viewer are expected to already know the past before you walked in, either from seeing the first film or reading the books or at least having heard something about the series before.  At any rate, Superman flicks might need to keep showing that space pod crash down on the Kents’ Iowa farm for the millionth time and Spiderman movies will always show young Peter sad that he didn’t stop Uncle Ben’s killer, but here, you are trusted to not be a dummy who already forgot the first film.

Claire Foy is great in the role.  Blomvquist, on the other hand, is given a total makeover and turned into a young studmuffin (Sverrir Gudnason), thus proving my point that Hollywood has reached a point where it will never again portray anyone over 40 as being either useful or good or productive or admirable in any way, shape or form.

Salander has hit her stride in this film.  After the buildup in the original, Lisbeth has perfected her ability to use her hacking skills to be the avenging angel of battered and abused women all across the Nordic lands.  Meanwhile, Blomvquist must decide whether to put his career above or below his friendship with the hacker.

Critics have complained that Salander is supposed to be a feminist hero but alas she’s been turned into some kind of male tough guy action star and I think they miss the point here.  Salander isn’t just a feminist hero but also, a realist hero.  Sure, she makes doors open, cars crash and causes all sorts of mayhem with the push of a cell phone button, and that is a super power as unlikely as the Flash’s speed, but whenever her hacking skills won’t save the day, she improvises by doing what mere mortals in her situation might do, i.e. stick a gun in a bad guy’s face or zipping away on her motorcycle and side swiping a cop car in the process because, no human, man or woman, is perfect.

Perhaps the gild is off the lilly for this series in some respects.  Something can only be new and fresh for so long before it becomes old and comfortable and familiar.  In its heyday, this series was considered quite original.  But at any rate, I think fans will be pleased that the film stays true (for the most part except Mikael isn’t a bitter, washed up old man anymore) to the source material.

Plot?  Salander is hired to steal a program that would give its user complete control over all nuclear missiles in the world.  She’s hired by the program’s inventor, who regrets ever making it and feels it should be in the hands of no one.  Alas, “the spiders” i.e. a criminal organization run by the family she escaped from steal it from her and she’ll have to enter a world she thought she left behind in order to get it back.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  Critics are dumb.

Advertisements
Tagged , ,

Movie Review – Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Scaramouche, 3.5 readers. Scaramouche indeed.

BQB here with a review of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

As a young man, Farrokh Bulsara had a ridiculous, almost supernatural and unwavering level of confidence in himself.  Where most of us reach our late teens and early twenties and decide selling out our dreams in exchange for financial stability is the safest way to go, Farrokh, who later changes and embraces his new name, Freddie Mercury, has talent and believes in himself intensely.

All he needs is an opportunity and he finds it in the form of a struggling band.  College students Brian May, Roger Taylor and John Deacon are on the rocks and about to call it quits when Freddie confidently sings a few notes in front of them and the rest is history.

Freddie is a showman’s showman and the front man to end all front men.  As Queen’s star rises, he engages the audience, gets them involved, makes them feel like he is singing to all of them individually.  He goes to war with the music industry establishment, fighting the good fight to convince them that his rock opera style (music that tells stories) will be a hit.

Comedian Mike Myers has a cameo as Ray Foster, a music industry big shot who tells Freddie his 6 minute song “Bohemian Rhapsody” sucks and will never make it.  This is ironic, given the fact that Myers, in his 1990s movie, “Wayne’s World,” introduced Queen’s music to a whole new young generation.  I can tell you I had never heard of Queen until Mike and Co. started banging their heads to Bohemian Rhapsody in their car.

Freddie struggles with demons, both in the music industry and in his personal life.  He adores Mary Austin, the love of his life, but it can never be because he’s bisexual.  Worse, as he gains fame and fortune, he collects a contingent of hangers-on who feed his ego, urging him to indulge all of his vices – rampant, indiscriminate sex and drugs, drugs and more drugs.

His cross to bear is that he believes himself to be a genius (right in many ways) and so wants to hear he is right no matter what, even when he is wrong.  He wants to hear non-stop that he is  and wonderful and special and there are plenty of yes men who tell him this but this leads to behavior that ruins his life.  He is better off with his bandmates, who are his family.  They clash and fight but they also tell him the hard truth – that he needs to clean himself up, get away from drugs, find a solid relationship instead of a different sex partner every day and so on.

This is a breakthrough role for Rami Malek who, for years, I recognized as a familiar face, but never learned his name until now and like the character in his film, his portrayal is genius.  Hopefully unlike his character, the success won’t go to his head.

Although it is early in the season, I smell Oscar potential.  Few of us will ever experience Mercury’s level of fame, but the lesson may be that a little confidence in ourselves can go a long way towards finding success.  Further, maintaining humility and loyalty will help us keep that success once it is achieved.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

 

Tagged , , , ,

Movie Review – Hunter Killer (2018)

It’s a coup!  BQB here with a review of “Hunter Killer.”

A US sub is lost.  Gerard Butler plays a sub captain sent with his crew to investigate.  Shenanigans ensue.  The Russian President is taken hostage by his military and if that subversion is successful, well, I don’t want to give it away but suffice it to say the stakes are high and it becomes in America’s best interests to save the Russki Prez.

The investigation mission becomes a rescue mission and it’s action galore.  There are some undertones of Hunt for Red October though this film is all on its own.  I’ll give it to Gerard Butler.  His performance in “300” was great and after that I always thought he was kind of wooden, but he excels here as the captain who earned his stripes the hard way, by working his way up through the ranks as opposed to those who went to officer school and were awarded a high rank without getting their hands dirty.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , ,

Movie Review – Bad Times at the El Royale

This movie may be about bad times but if you see it you’ll have a good time.  Zing! I’m so witty.

BQB here with a review of Bad Times at the El Royale.

3.5 readers, I’m just going to say it.  This is the best movie I’ve seen all year and frankly, one of the best new films I’ve seen in a long time.  I went into it thinking it would be decent but was blown away by its style and originality and I love it when I can give a glowing recommendation right off the bat.  Go see it.  Go see it now.

The El Royale is a hotel that straddles the California and Nevada state lines.  In the 1960s it was a hot spot for the rich and famous, though by the 1970s when this film takes place, it has been long forgotten.

A series of guests check in at the same time.  There’s the obnoxious traveling salesman (Jon Hamm doing his best Foghorn Leghorn impression); the lounge singer (Jennifer Hudson in the role she’s been waiting for); the Catholic priest (Jeff Bridges); and the rude hippy (Dakota Johnson).

If I were to tell you much more, I’d ruin it all for you.  Suffice to say, in each room, there’s a mystery underway.  Every guest has a troubled past and each mystery will come together in a big way.

There are times when it takes awhile for the story to build up, but the promises of big plot paydays are made and paid with interest if you hang on.

The Oscars have been under fire the past few years as being a stodgy institution that just pays attention to obscure art house flicks that no one watches.  This film would be the Academy’s chance to buck that trend.

While each character has their moment to shine, Bridges and J-Hud shine particularly bright.  Jeff Bridges turns in his best performance in over 20 years since the Big Lebowski.  What range.  Two decades ago he played a mellow dude who never let anything bother him and today he’s playing an aging holy man whose violent past has caught up with him.

Meanwhile, I’ve always admired J-Hud.  While most singers rely on skimpy outfits, gimmicks and scandals, Hudson has always let her pipes speak for themselves.  She turns in her performances in public and then her private life is her own and she doesn’t try to blend the two.  She’s had a number of parts in films over the years but this the most memorable since her turn as Effie in Dreamgirls launched her career.

I know it’s still early and most Oscar films don’t come out until the end of the year, but I hope the Academy will consider this film.  It is not a traditional Oscar flick by any means but the story grips you, the performances are great and Bridges and Hudson deserve gold statues.

Is J-Hud seeing anybody?  Feel free to move into BQB HQ anytime Miss Hudson.

STATUS:  Totes shelf-worthy.

EDIT: Hey, I don’t feel like rewriting this review but it was just brought to my attention by Twitter that J-Hud wasn’t even in this movie.  Cynthia Erivo plays the singer in this movie but hell, give her an Oscar because she’s also great. There are a lot of actors/actresses that look alike.  I know fairly recently there was an actress I kept mistaking for Jennifer Lawrence, for example.  Maybe I’m losing my mind or I’m not keeping up with pop culture.  Oh well.

Tagged , , , ,

Movie Review – Venom (2018)

There’s a monster in all of us, 3.5 readers.

BQB here with a review of “Venom.”

Ahh, Venom.  That misunderstood anti-hero/villain who Hollywood will never understand.  He made an appearance in “Spiderman 3” and was a dud then.  Here, the effort is better but…well…it’s not quite as awesome as you might hope.

Tom Hardy plays way, way, way against type as down on his luck loser journalist Eddie Brock.  Blah, blah, blah, hijinx ensue and he ends up sharing his body with the alien entity known as Venom.  Basically, it’s a modern day Jeykll and Hyde tale.

Venom takes control and Brock is along for the ride, frightened and humorously terrified as the alien makes him murder bad guys indiscriminately and even, yes, eat them.  You’d think this kind of “OMG what’s going on I’m just a nerd!” role would go to a more comedic actor rather than Hardy, who is known for being a stoic who broods who barely speaks.

Still, I can’t knock a guy for trying something different, just as I can’t knock Michelle Williams for starring as Brock’s girlfriend.  The role seems beneath Williams though I understand why she took it – i.e. appearing in a super hero movie is like the gold standard now.

Is it fun? Yes.  Is it worth your time? Yes.  Is it being all it could be? No.  Alas, I don’t think fans will ever get that long awaited Venom vs. Spidey movie we’ve all been waiting for.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , ,

Movie Review – The Predator (2018)

I can’t tell if I hated it or just found it mildly passable.  I didn’t love it, that’s for sure.  At any rate, I’ll be collecting my thoughts about this movie for a while but in the meantime, here’s my review of “The Predator.”

The original “Predator” with Arnold Schwarzenegger was sublime.  As action/horror movies go, perfection.  In 1987, Arnie had spent the past decade flattening baddies with his pinky finger, such that he needed a real challenge, and an intergalactic big game hunter who traveled to earth to hunt humans was it.

The sequel with Danny Glover was…OK.  It’s watchable.  It’s acceptable.

Other than that, there have been sequels that have been lame, forgettable and don’t even get me started on the Alien vs. Predator movies.

I wanted to hate this sequel a lot.  It’s lame.  It focuses more on humor and gives a lot of screen time to the humans and not so much to the Predator.  Sequels have never been able to capture the magic of the original (plus that film starred two future governors.)

I will give this sequel this:  since Predator 2, it’s the least shitty of a series of shitty sequels.  (To clarify, P2 is better than this.)

The humor is 1980s style camp that you don’t see much of anymore.  It made me nostalgic to watch, though at the same time, it’s not something I needed to see in a Predator movie either.

The plot is that a special ops sniper (Boyd Holbrook) happens upon a Predator landing, steals his equipment and his own government decides to throw him in prison to shut him up.

While being transported with a gaggle of other Army burn outs dubbed “the loonies,” he convinces them to break out to fight the Predator.  Loonies include Trevante Rhodes, Alfie Allen (Game of Thrones), Key of Key and Peele who mostly provides comic relief and to my surprise, ex-Punisher Thomas Jane.  Olivia Munn rounds out the cast as a sexy vet (the animal doctor kind) recruited to analyze a captive predator.

Sterling K. Brown stars as a government agent hunting the loonies and as a nice touch, Holbrook’s son has Aspberger’s syndrome which makes him bullied at school yet his “special” brain makes him the only one who can figure out how to use predator tech.

The movie is filled with plot holes, stupidity and it kinda makes you want to puke until people my age realize that many 1980s action flicks were like this but people took them seriously because they didn’t know better…so I suppose as an homage to the films that made Arnie a star, I can let the foolishness slide.

STATUS:  I think it is possible to make a sequel that isn’t stupid.  But I suppose they can do all the cash grabs they want without affecting Arnie’s original.  Not worth a movie ticket or a rental.  Feel free to stream it on cable.  It is very stupid and silly and only becomes redeemable when you realize it’s on purpose as a 1980s action flick parody…which would be fine except I think that under-utilizes the predator.

Tagged , ,

BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Deliverance (1972)

Grab your banjo and hide your butts, 3.5 readers.

BQB here with a review of Burt Reynolds’ most critically acclaimed drama (as opposed to his many car chase movies), Deliverance.

It’s every straight man’s worst nightmare – getting forcibly butt blasted against his well by a pair of drunken redneck perverts.

Yes indeed, Hollywood has created a number of monsters over the years.  However, if you’re a straight, red blooded American male who dreams of titties and vag 24/7, the scariest, most unimaginable nightmare you can possibly think of is to be forced to “squeal like a pig” as what happened to Ned Beatty in a scene that is, frankly, hard to watch.  Honestly, you might want to fast forward through it.  I watched this movie years ago and would watch it again but for that scene that I never want to see again.

Four friends and city slickers (Burt Reynolds, Jon Voigt, Ronny Cox and Ned Beatty) go on a canoe trip to explore the great outdoors.  When they reach town, they have a banjo duel with a creepy local boy, setting the eerie tone of what is about to transpire.

At first, it’s fun.  Beer, canoeing and fishing.  Burt’s character, Lewis, is actually an experienced outdoorsman who carries the rest of the crew on his back and his scenes where he shoots bad dudes with his bow and arrow are iconic.

Long story short, one canoe gets lost.  Ned and Jon are accosted by dirty mountain man perverts who attack Ned’s tucas while Jon is forced to watch.  Lewis saves the day by shooting one of the rapists in the heart with an arrow.

Alas, the other perv escapes and stocksthe rest of the canoers as they try to make it down the river to civilization.  Ergo, the city slickers must band together to protect their lives and more importantly, their butts.  Yes.  These are manly men who will fight to the death to protect their butts from illicit invasions.

I doubt Hollywood would make this movie today.  First, it implies the South is an awful place….eh, that’s probably a debate for another post, though Hollywood has never been shy about dumping on the South.  But the main reason they wouldn’t make it again is because they’d be afraid people would assume that all homosexuals are looking to rape straight men’s butts which really is far from the truth.  Just because these particular homosexuals were butt attackers doesn’t mean all are and surely audiences can be trusted to direct their disdain at these two outliers who deviated from the field containing the vast majority of homosexuals who only engage in consensual butt related activities.

Anyway, it’s a loaded subject matter.  No, straight dudes shouldn’t fear gay dudes.  But yes, straight dudes are going to fight like hell to protect their butts when in the presence of the very occasional, not representative of the norm, gay rapist because to a straight man, getting your butt invaded by another dude is a fate worse than death.

Hollywood, if they were to remake it today, would probably have Ned Beatty’s character be scared of butt activity only for him to decide he quite enjoys it and then he celebrates the butt invasion and then he moves to the country and opens up a bed and breakfast with his attackers.

Not gonna lie.  Even by 1970s standards, the film’s a little freaky.  They probably could have just made the rednecks a couple of crazed, homicidal murderers who like to kill people and the audience would have been given the requisite sense of dread without adding the butt attack scene which really, you’ll feel like you have to bleach your brain just to forget that terrible, terrible scene.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy, but I’ll never watch it again.  Cool as Burt is with his bow and arrow, I just can’t watch Ned get butt attacked again.  Frankly, Ned should have gotten an Academy Award just for having the courage to play, as far as I know, the first male on male rape victim caught on film.  That’s some shit that even Daniel Day Lewis won’t do.

Tagged , , ,

BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

Howdy, 3.5 readers, y’all got your ears on?

BQB here with a review of Burt Reynolds’ greatest movie.

It’s the late 1970s.  The Bandit (Reynolds) is a notorious driver, known along the open road by truckers as an awesome dude.

The fabulously wealthy (and eccentric) father/son duo, Big and Little Enos get their kicks off of betting drivers that they won’t be able to transport booze across state lines within a certain time period.  Although alcohol is legal, transporting it in large quantities across state lines without the proper permits is considered illegal bootlegging.

Bandit takes the bet, agreeing to move 400 cases of Coors from Texas to Georgia within 28 hours.  He runs blocker car in a badass Trans-Am, while his buddy, Cledus (Jerry Reed) drives the rig full of beer with his hound dog Fred in the passenger seat.

Along the way, Bandit picks-up hitchhiker Carrie (Sally Field), and this infuriates Texas Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason aka the Smokey) as Carrie was about to marry his son until she got cold feet and ran.

It’s obvious that Gleason loved playing this character.  Outside of playing bus driver Ralph on “The Honeymooners” this role is the one other role that he’ll be remembered for.  Buford’s character essentially invented the movie stereotype of the fat Southern Sheriff who thinks a little too highly of himself and lives to persecute unsuspecting motorists….except in this instance, Bandit probably deserves it yet you root for him anyway.

The movie is essentially a series of skits and stunts strung together as drivers throughout the country get on their CB radios to cheer Bandit on and pull of schemes to get in Justice’s way so its smooth sailing for Bandit.  There’s one cool scene in which a series of rigs coordinate to hide Bandit from the Smokey.

Anyway…it’s cool.  It’s funny.  And Burt was allowed to play Bandit as a man…a manly man…a dude who likes beer and fast cars and he doesn’t get the girl by crying or being a metrosexual or sharing his feelings.  He gets her by being a manly mustache wearing stud who occasionally offers a witty remark or funny one liner.

God, I hope Hollywood never remakes this.  They’ll probably make a female Bandit or something.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , ,

Movie Review – White Boy Rick (2018)

Hey 3.5 readers.  Do me a favor.  If any of you are in Detroit, MOVE ok?

BQB here with a review of “White Boy Rick.”

Based on a true story, it’s the 1980s and Rick Wershe Sr. (Matthew McConaughey) is a small time gun runner, doing illicit arms sales on the sly in the hopes of raising enough money to pull his family out of poverty.  His wife has left him.  His son, Rick Jr. (Richie Merritt) is going nowhere and his daughter, Dawn (Bel Powley) is a junkie.  Oh, and his parents (Piper Laurie and Bruce Dern) live next door and pull no punches in letting Rick know how disappointed they are in him.

Blah, blah, blah, I won’t give away too much but suffice to say that Rick Sr.’s petty dabbling in crooked schemes gives his 15 year old son a taste for the criminal underworld.  Alas, Rick Jr. is a better crook than his old man ever could be and is quickly welcomed into a black gang who affectionately dub their new recruit as “White Boy Rick.”

Yadda, yadda, yadda.  Chaos ensues.  The FBI (Jennifer Jason Leigh in a potential comeback role) sets up Rick with the “product” he needs to get in deep and become a major player, allowing him to keep his profits while he informs on kingpins.

After awhile, it all gets confusing and it is hard to keep track of who is playing who.  Rick Jr. is portrayed well by Merritt, who plays the character as a dope who doesn’t really understand the gravity of the situation he’s in and sort of just lucks his way into a life of crime, “luck” being a dubious word as the money is nice for awhile until the luck runs out and the shit hits the fan as it always does.

McConaughey turns in a great performance as Rick Sr. who truly loves his kids but…maybe it’s out of desperation, maybe out of stupidity, maybe out of a need to be somebody, goes along with Rick Jr.’s schemes and is tortured as to what is right and wrong.  Is it right to stand by while his son gets deeper into a life of crime?  Is it right to try to make him stop when all he has to offer is a life of poverty?

SPOILER: There’s a scene where Matthew really exercises his acting chops, caring for his daughter while she’s coming down off of drugs.  She screams at him.  Curses him.  Fights him.  Pukes all over.  Matthew just takes it with the face of a father showing his kid unconditional love.  Now that’s acting.

I have mixed feelings because while Rick Sr. and Jr. are portrayed as poor folk who fall prey to lack of economic opportunity, desperation to get ahead, and being duped by the criminal justice system.  In many ways I feel for them because yeah, holy shit, it’s tough out there and perhaps Rick got a raw deal given that, according to this movie, the Feds basically pushed the kid into a life of crime and if they hadn’t he probably would have just been a regular poor teen staring at the ceiling of his bedroom.

On the other hand, you know, they did sell guns and drugs and in doing so most likely got a lot of people hurt…I don’t know.  It’s not up to me to moralize.  Overall, a good film, good story….interesting subtext that White Boy Rick is instantly taken in not just by a black gang, loved and treated as one of their.  Not exactly sure this was Dr. King’s dream when he said he wanted black and white people to come together in peace and harmony but hey, it’s a movie.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  Didn’t really get what Rick’s stoner accent was all about.  Possible Oscar bait.  Matthew’s already got one but he really brought the “I just don’t want my kids to think I’m a loser dad anymore” game.  Bruce has got one too and although he’s not in it for long, he does steal a few scenes as the irate grampa trying to teach his son and grandson a thing or two.

Tagged , ,

Movie Review – Peppermint (2018)

It’s Deathwish with Tits!

BQB here with a review of the vigilante justice film, Peppermint.

Jennifer Garner is one bad mother in this flick, 3.5 readers.  (SPOILERS)

In the early 2010s, life is good for Riley North.  She’s got the typical lower middle class lifestyle.  She and her husband have jobs that are a grind but they get by.  They have a cute daughter, the works.

Alas, all this goes FUBAR when criminals gun down daughter and husband, only to leave J-Gar wounded.

Feeling defeated after the hoodlums go unpunished, Riley goes underground.  She travels the world.  She trains.  She fights.  She learns hand to hand combat.  She learns how to shoot.  How to survive.

And then she brings all that planning back to the US, where she unleashes a fat can of whoop-ass on all her done her wrong.

Admittedly, the movie starts off a little hokey.  The whole part where the justice system fails Riley seems like it was written by a high schooler with a low level understanding of the law, although, if the writers had delved deeper into the legal wranglings, it would have put us to sleep, so I take back my criticism.

At any rate, this is one of those movies that makes you sad in the beginning, then makes you roll your eyes a bit at the hokey-ness, but then…damn.  Just…holy crap.  Jennifer Garner may have slowed down since her Alias days, but she is back, kicking ass and taking names.

Hell, I’m going to predict right here and right now that this movie is J-Gar’s “Taken” moment.  Remember 2010?  Liam Neeson was on his way to obscurity then he did a movie about a man with a particular set of skills and now he’s an action movie extraordinaire?

I think…or at least I hope, that’s what happens for Jen here.  Fuck those Capital One commercials.  J-Gar doesn’t need to ask what’s in your wallet anymore.  That badass bitch can just take your wallet and make you thank her for doing so.

If you can sit through some early writing hackery, it gets good.  So good.  So fun to watch as she hunts everyone down, literally everyone, like all the bad guys, anyone who has ever helped the bad guys, everyone who like, ever gave the bad guys a cookie, even the lawyers and judge and other corrupt officials who helped the bad guys get off on a technicality.

She slices. She dices.  She juliennes.  She blows shit up.  She blows people up.  She shoots.  She scores.  She wracks up a body count that would make Charles Bronson blush.

And that’s what this film basically is.  Deathwish with Tits.  Honestly, if I had been the studio exec on this one, that’s what I would have called this.  “Deathwish with Tits.”  “Peppermint” is ok, but really, it’s misleading.  Someone who just glances at the marquee might think the movie is about a tasty yuletide treat and not a mother’s last good memory of her daughter who happened to be eating peppermint ice cream when evil criminals did their evil criminal deeds.

Sure, there’s room to poke fun.  Jennifer Garner is a hot chick and also, a dignified chick.  She’s a proper lady, damn it.  She’s always carried herself with poise and class.  Thus, at times, she gets messed up while she’s living on the mean streets, so that means, in J-Gar’s world that like, a few hairs are out of place, and you know she brushed the shit out of those hairs as soon as the film was in the can.

Maybe there’s a market these days for vigilante justice movies, I don’t know.  Bruce Willis’ Deathwish remake from earlier this year was universally panned, though loved by this writer, but then again, I love vigilante justice movies.

I suppose there’s a PC argument against this movie.  It’s two hours of a white lady slaughtering impoverished latinos but then again, the universal standard of right and wrong is at play.  In other words, it’s made clear these particular and only these particular latinos did bad and there are other latinos and minorities and people of all races and colors and backgrounds who, from behind the scenes, try to help the woman they refer to as an “angel.”  Yes, rich and poor alike watch the mayhem ensue on social media and cheer the angel along and come to her aid once in awhile.

Still, I’d love it if we could flip the script.  Someone should make a vigilante justice movie where a black character loses his or her family and then shoots down anyone who participated in the evildoery.  Hell, I cheered for Gabby Union when she was kicking the ass of white dudes who were trying to rob and kill her family in “Breaking In,” just as I cheered for J-Gar here.

You know what?  Forget it.  I shouldn’t have even brought up race.  Maybe the SJWs are brainwashing me.  Who knows?

Point is, September is a month where Hollywood’s crappiest movies come out, well, not as bad as January, but still, after summer, you can’t hope for much fun at the box office until November.  This movie was a surprise.

SIDENOTE: There’s a scene where, to show J-Gar is losing focus on taking care of herself and putting her life into her mission, she eats a meal consisting of a swig of vodka and an unwrapped cupcake.  That’s how hot Hollywood actresses slum it, apparently.  Me?  That’s just Monday morning breakfast at BQB HQ.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , ,
Advertisements