By: Special Guest Pirate, Capt. Deathbeard
Capt. Deathbeard
YARRRRR! Ye be in ye place of business where transactions are afoot, workers conspire and currency changes hands. Doth ye wish to know how to address the following situations in the language of piracy?
TRANSLATION #1
I’m sorry, Mr. Reynolds. I will not be able to stay late this evening. My daughter is singing in a school recital.
ARRRRRR! Listen yon Reynolds and listen well, nay open thine ears as if thou were’st to heareth the hounds of hell bark sweet nothings that rattle thine very soul.
We’ve struck an accord, a devil’s bargain that I shall remain in thine business house until an appointed time and not a second longer, for once the bell tolls the hours belong to me and mine.
Mine kin be on the rocks of old, filling the night air with her siren’s song and I be powerless to stop me self from sailing me vessel towards her harmonius melody.
TRANSLATION #2
But Steve, I told you that if you didn’t have the Jenkins file ready by the end of the day, you’d have to stay until it is finished. I’ve given you two weeks notice about this and Mr. Palmer will be livid if it’s not on his desk when he walks in tomorrow. I’m sorry, but you need to stay.
Steve, ye pitiful bilge rat! Told ye I did for a fortnight that yon Jenkins file was the jewel of our bounty and failing its security ye’d have to walk the plank! Old Man Palmer’ll be three sheets to the mainsail with furious debauchery should ye not render thine duty! Away with ye to yer cubicle matey or its the cat of nine tails for thee!
TRANSLATION #3
Martha, that’s a lovely outfit you have on today. Would you care to accompany me to the cafeteria at lunchtime?
Ahoy, wench! Remove yon knickers and prepare to keel haul for mine misen mast hath risen! YARRR!
TRANSLATION #4
Pete, I don’t care for your romantic advances. They’re against company policy and I’ll be reporting this infraction to human resources.
Arrr, I don’t understand. When were wenches allowed to say no? Arrr, I been at sea too long and changes to the world have surely been made then. Apologies, mateys, for this scenario be untranslatable into pirate talk. Yarr.
TRANSLATION #5
Thank you for your hard work on the project, team. To show their gratitude, corporate is going to pay for drinks and appetizers at the Applebees across the street. See you all there.
ARRRRRR! Ye filthy scum be the best crew a captain could ever hope for. Ye ran the King’s men through, set their ships on fire, and pilfered all the gold. Belly up to the bar mateys! Let the grog flow, the pigs roast and BRING ON THE WENCHES!!!! YARRRR!!!!
National Talk Like a Pirate DAY? Try WEEK! Capt. Deathbeard and his crew are translating everyday phrases into pirate all week long on the Bookshelf Battle Blog. Have ye got something ye want translated, matey? Submit it in the briney deep of the comments below or walk them down the plank to @bookshelfbattle on Twit-ARR!
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