Monthly Archives: June 2024

Movie Review – The Bikeriders (2023)

Da Bears. Da bikes.

BQB here with a review of this kick ass macho flick.

Ahh, woke Hollywood. You suck. Really you do. You manage to ruin everything, so I want to thank you for keeping your greasy tentacles off this quality picture. Apparently, you were too busy turning the much beloved Star Wars franchise into a haven for furiously scissoring space lesbian witches that you didn’t get around to mess up this movie, and thus I was able for once in I don’t know how long to enjoy a good old fashioned dude fest, complete with bar brawls, fist fights, gun play, police chases, and bikes that go vroom vroom.

It’s an age old tale about how, if you have anything good, sooner or later, yahoo assholes are going to show up to tear it apart. Tom Hardy and Austin Butler star as Johnny and Benny, two fouding members of the Chicago Vandals Motorcycle Club in the early 1960s. At first, it’s a club for outcast gearheads to hangout, get drunk, party, and have fun with likeminded misfits who don’t fit in anywhere else.

But alas, a decade later, the club grows in size and popularity, inviting rougher, tougher, seedier reprobates than Johnny and Benny can handle. What began as a social club has turned into a haven for bloodthirsty psychopaths.

Alas, this club is their life, their reason for being, a way to share the open road with their compadres. And sure, yes, they did a lot of messed up, penny ante minor crimes, but is there any way they can save their club and their way of life from being stolen out from under them by violent monsters who just live to kill, rape, pillage, loot, plunder, murder and so on?

Double alas, this film came out early in the year. Oddly, it’s classified as a 2023 film though it came out to a wide release in theaters this weekend in 2024. At any rate, I doubt it will get much Oscar love because it deserves some. The way Tom Hardy and Jodie Comer completely transform themselves into different people is amazing. Yes, I know that’s what actors/actresses do but they take it to another level.

The Chicago accents are off the charts in this film, such that they remind me of that old SNL sketch where the superfans talked about Da Bears and Da Bulls. So get ready for that. Tom and Jodie go deep into said accents. Jodie, who you may remember as the love interest in Free Guy, steals the show as Benny’s girlfriend.

If you expect her to play a tough, gun toting biker moll, you’d be wrong. She actually narrates the film, telling the story to a reporter played by Mike Faist (he of one third of the menage a trois in Challengers) and apparently the real life biker club did have a reporter follow them around.

Jodie’s Kathy is a semi-humorous, with just a touch of SNL-esque version of a biker girlfriend, playing up the “what the heck am I doing with these jerks?” angle to the hilt. Note I said semi because it’s not so comical that it turns the film to a comedy, but she becomes the character that the (we can only assume) mostly law abiding audience can relate to. She is absolutely disgusted by the obnoxious behavior of the boorish clowns her boyfriend hangs out with, and complains about their antics vociferously throughout the film, yet in the end, loves Benny so much that she can pry herself away from him.

Jodie truly steals the show and this is a great star vehicle for her. This is one of those films where you say, “who is that actress?” and suddenly, you realize you’ve seen her in other films but this one got you to remember her name.

Bonus points for actors from other tough guy shows, like Damon Herriman (Dewey Crowe from Justified), Norman Reedus (Daryl in the Walking Dead) and of course, the uber weird Michael Sherridan.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy. It just goes to show, 3.5 readers, if you ever build something good, some schmuck will inevitably pop out of the woodwork to try to take it from you.

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Movie Review – The Watchers (2024)

Have you ever felt like somebody’s watching you, 3.5 readers?

You know what no one is watching? This blog!

Open your peepers and start watching this review.

I’d never seen a trailer or any hype for this film. I don’t usually do horror. But I wanted to go out last night and wasn’t interested in Inside Out 2, so I checked this out. I’m glad I did.

Dakota Fanning stars as Mina, a troubled young woman who has fled to Ireland to escape a sordid past. With her trusty pet parrot in tow, she accidentally goes on the road trip to hell when her car breaks down in the middle of a scary forest. Alas, she soon discovers that no one has ever escaped this forest on foot before sundown alive in many years.

After being chased by scary, hard-to-see creatures, she finds a group of people in the same predicament. They too were once lost travelers, stranded by chance in the forest, but now they can’t leave. They lead Mina to a bunker with a 2-way mirror and inform of various rules that have kept them alive for years, namely that they have to remain in the bunker at night and they must stand in front of the mirror so the watchers can watch them.

Mina can’t believe this BS is her life now and dreams up various escape attempts, various ways to try to defeat and escape the watchers and I’ll leave it there. It’s up to you to watch the movie and discover the secret of who the watchers are and why they are watching.

I’ll tell you what made me feel old is this film is the directorial debut of Ishana Night Shyamalan, daughter of famed directory of scary horror movies with twist endings, M. Night Shyamalan. She was probably just born at the height of her father’s fame with these crazy twist movies and now she’s directing on her own. Where does the time go?

I will hand it to her in that she doesn’t go heavy handed with the ending like her old man did. I always felt like M Night got so much praise for the surprise twist at the end of The Sixth Sense that he never stopped trying to recreate it in every other movie he made whereas he probably should have just accepted that twist was a one in a million and just focused on making good movies.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Movie Review: Bad Boys: Ride or Die (2024)

Bad boys bad boys. What you gonna do? What you gonna do when BQB leaves a review?

Hey 3.5 readers. Your old pal BQB here with a review of the latest installment of the Bad Boys franchise.

It’s funny but I lead most reviews off now with my observations on how the film did at my local theater. I fear the theater industry is on life support and I hope the industry will do something to solve that because I don’t want theaters to become a thing of the past.

The past few films I’ve seen in the theater had sparse attendance whereas this one played to a packed house at my local theater. It was nice to see everyone having a great time and laughing at a film with plenty of jokes. At this point, Bad Boys is one of those flicks where viewers know what they’re getting. You probably won’t think much of it a day later, but you’ll have a fun time during the show.

The plot? Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are back as buddy cops Mike and Marcus. This time they are out to clear the name of their deceased Captain Conrad. A cabal of crooked operatives working with crooked cops, Miami city officials and a drug cartel have pinned their crimes on the late captain who died in the last film but returns in flashbacks and recorded messages, played by Joe Pantaliono.

The script is a bit flipped – because of a recent heart attack that he survives, Marcus gets a new lease on life that causes him to take insane risks, much to the chagrin of Mike. Usually, Mike is the risk taker and Marcus is the one to complain about the danger.

I enjoyed this. Lots of good action, special effects. It just seems rare to get a good cop action flick these days. And if you can recall the previous films, hard because the first one came out in 1995, there’s continuity with old familiar faces and fan favorites stopping by.

One thing I’ll give this franchise credit for. I’ve always felt this franchise handles race well. You have white, black, latino and other races, all working together. They care about each other, back each other up, go to bat for one another and sure, there are jokes about race but its never heavy handed or in your face the way you’d see it on Netflix or any of the other super woke streaming services these days.

The downside? Martin and Will are getting a little long in the tooth and it makes me sad to see that given I feel like I saw their first adventure just yesterday. Where does the time go? Also, I always liked Will Smith so much that whenever I saw him on screen it was like seeing an old friend. This was his first movie post the Oscars Chris Rock slap and as a fan, I’ll just never be able to look at him the same way again. I suppose its akin to having a long time friend who did something wrong – you still want him to do well, but you know he should experience some consequences for his actions. What is the right call? Should he never be in a movie ever again? Would that be too much? Probably but maybe he should have sat out another year or two. IDK.

All in all, a decent action flick. Good but not great.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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