Oh those sexy practitioners of the dark arts.
Halloween is just around the corner, so if you’re looking to score a hot date with a fine ass witch, you best school yourself on these witch pickup lines, player:
#10 – “Bubble bubble, toil and trouble, damn girl, you make my heart burn and my pants bubble.”
PRO: It’s classy and Shakespearean.
CON: She might think you’re saying that she gives you heart burn as in acid reflux and not as in her setting your heart ablaze with passion.
#9 – “Hey baby, wanna ride my broomstick?”
PRO: Direct and to the point.
CON: This is a rather uncouth line and thus will only work on the most promiscuous witches with low morals. Sure, they’ll rock your world but beware witch STDs. There’s no spell to get rid of that.
Not that I’d know.
No, I haven’t been scratching myself for the past three hours straight. Mind your business.
Also, she might get confused and tell you that she already owns a broomstick that provides her with adequate transportation, but thank you just the same.
#8 – “Wanna see my eye of newt?”
PRO: Again, little time wasted.
CON: She’ll be expecting an actual eyeball that you yanked off of a damn newt. Is your love life really worth blinding a lizard? I think not.
FYI – Don’t use “eye of newt” as a euphemism for your junk. Whatever your pull out is going into her boiling pot.
#7 – “You cast a spell on me.”
PRO: Maybe she’ll think you’re clever and charming.
CON: She might also take it as a challenge and turn you into a damn toad. Ribbit, ribbit. Enjoy those flies, bitch.
#6 – “That is the sexiest pointy hat with a damn belt buckle I have ever seen.”
PRO: She’ll appreciate that you realize she’s been practicing witchcraft since colonial times.
CON: She’s going to keep wearing that hat no matter what and the point is going to flop around all over the place while you two dance the horizontal cha cha.
Then again, some freaks are into that sort of thing.
#5 – “I’m keen on the green.”
PRO: You’ll make her realize that her being the color of grass, broccoli and Kermit doesn’t matter to you.
CON: Whatever part of you that touches her will turn green, so uh…you know, keep that in mind if you’re cheating on your vampire girlfriend with a witch.
#4 – “Damn baby, I gots to make my magic wand disappear.”
PRO: She’ll be glad you share her interest in magic.
CON: She may be turned off by the double entendre and use her power to uh…actually make it disappear.
#3 – “Witch betta have my money.”
PRO: She might be a Rihanna fan and appreciate the reference.
CON: You basically just called her a witch hooker, which may or may not be true but still, discretion dude.
#2 – “Move, witch! Get out the way!”
PRO: She might be a Ludacris fan and appreciate the reference.
CON: She might get out of your way, then never come back.
#1 – “Which witch is which?”
PRO: Good to use on a group of witches. May lead to a witch threesome.
CON: They might just politely answer your question by telling you the names of each witch in the group and then dismiss you.
Do you have a good pickup line to use on a witch?
Share it in the comments.