EAST RANDOM TOWN, USA – Bookshelf Q. Battler, Owner and Proprietor of the Bookshelf Battle Blog, has announced that after a thorough internal investigation, BQBD will be reinstated as Head of Security of the Bookshelf Battle Compound.
“I was extremely displeased when BQBD allowed The Yeti to enter onto the compound with reckless abandon,” BQB said. “However, upon further review, I determined that BQBD is one foot tall, whereas The Yeti stands at a whopping eight feet. In trying circumstances, BQBD fought valiantly and did what he could. Alas, he was no match.”
BQBD – A stoic master of security. I sleep better knowing he’s around.
Adding to BQBD’s woes is this photo, which clearly shows the alleged guard dog licking his schnozola, completely oblivious to the puppy sneaking up behind him, preparing to swat him in the backside.
“That photo is troubling,” Bookshelf Q. Battler said. “However, let’s be honest. BQBD could have easily dispatched that puppy with a karate move. Instead, he decided to show restraint to a young lad who has yet to learn the ways of the world. That takes guts.”
Members of the press further asked BQB what his number one pet peeve is.
“I’m glad you asked,” BQB said. “Those idiots who share pictures of their stupid pets on their dumb blogs. We get it. You like your pets. You think every little thing they do is adorable. Who cares? Your pets are stupid! Stop bothering everyone with them!”
Asked for comment, BQBD released the following statement:
Woof.
BQBD – a relentless protector and a canine of few words.
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