“It’s alive! It’s alive!”
No seriously, BQB’s Top Ten Girlfriend/Boyfriend Warning Sign Lists live on after a long hiatus.
So without further ado, from BQB HQ in Fabulous East Randomtown, it’s the Top Ten Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Might be the Bride of Frankenstein.
#10 – She has an electrifying personality, not in the sense that she can carry a conversation well but rather, she needs to get zapped with a damn lightning bolt every day before she gets up and moves around.
#9 – Exceptionally tall hair-do. No one wants to sit behind her at the movies.
#8 – Frankenstein himself is always shuffling slowly in your general direction in an effort to maul you. Can’t really blame him. She is “The Bride of Frankenstein” and not “The Bride of Insert Your Name Here” after all, you loathsome pervert.
#7 – She has incredible brute strength, so much so that a little hand action down south is out of the question.
#6 – Screams gibberish at you constantly, all day long. So…right, like most women.
#5 – Has only been alive for five minutes but still figured out how to do that annoying duck lip selfie that all women insist on doing.
#4 – Spends a fortune on hair spray.
#3 – Has cold feet and cold everything else.
#2 – Asks you if the butt that Doctor Frankenstein sewed on her looks big. There is no acceptable answer that won’t result in you being torn apart other than, “No.”
#1 – Gets mad at you. When you ask her why she’s mad she responds, “Grr! Argh! Me think you know why! Ugh!”
Bookshelf Battle 