By: Bookshelf Q. Battler, World Renowned Poindexter, Reviewer of Pop Cultural Happenings, Champion Yeti Fighter AND POSTER OF 365+ POSTS IN 2015.
“Ohh…I am the champion, my 3.5 friends! Yes I…roundhouse kicked the Yeti in the face again! I am the champion! I am the champion…no time for losers ‘cuz I am the champion….of this blog!!!”
Happy New Year’s Eve, 3.5 readers. GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE, THE YETI!
Bookshelf Q. Battler here, with my last post of the year, the one that makes it official:
I blogged once a day in 2015.
Actually, I blogged a lot more than just once a day. Way more. Plus, I did more than that. I also:
- Foiled 2 plots by the Yeti to take over BQB HQ, one in the Spring and one five seconds ago. Each time, I managed to secure my freedom by roundhouse kicking the Yeti in the face. Stupid Yeti. When will he ever learn that the path towards keeping 3.5 readers happy is to entertain them, not bore them?
- Befriended Alien Jones, an intergalactic emissary of the Mighty Potentate, a space despot who has decreed that he will take over Earth if I do not write a novel so eloquent that it inspires all humans to abandon reality television.
- Met the love of my nerd life, Video Game Rack Fighter while on a mission to discover the meaning of life. Oh, also, I discovered the meaning of life. Or did I? I still need to finish telling you what happened.
- Contracted with infamous hardboiled noir style private investigator Jake Dashing to solve 100 “Pop Culture Mysteries” by withholding the information he needs to return to 1954, the time period he feels most comfortable in.
- Survived a zombie apocalypse that broke out in my home town of East Randomtown, set off by my once former mentor turned enemy, Dr. Hugo Von Science. I couldn’t have done it without the help of #31ZombieAuthors. Yes, 31 (actually 32) successful and accomplished people took time out of their busy schedules to help me stop the zombie hordes.
I blogged everyday. I connected with my 3.5 readers on Twitter, Google Plus, and Facebook. I upped my stats and built my platform.
And I couldn’t have done it without my trusty 3.5 readers, like this one:
Or this one…
“The Funky Hunks aren’t that bad in virtual reality…they’re much, much worse!” – Jill Metzler, Bookshelf Battle Blog Reader #2
Or this reader…
And who could forget my incorrigible .5th reader?
I said, “WHO COULD FORGET MY .5th reader!”
Oh never mind. Sure, I could post some sort of photo of half a person or a dwarf but that’d be in very poor taste and also incorrect because as long as you’ve got a brain and a heart, you’re a whole person in my book.
But whoever you are and even though my stat reports only count you as .5th of a reader, you’re loved too, .5th reader!
Thank you, 3.5 readers.
Thank you for going on this year long journey with me, for putting up with my nonsense, my tomfoolery, my pondexosity.
I’ll be back Jan. 1 to break down the stats of where I was at the start of the year and where I am now but until then, feel free to add to those stats by following me.
Bookshelf Q. Battler