BQB and the Meaning of Life is brought to you by the good folks at Drying Paint Media
Paint. It covers your walls.
It’s a no-brainer.
Or is it?
You look through swatches, you make determinations between “Almond White,” “Snow White,” and “Arctic White.”
You look at the paint when you pop open the can and you look at it while you’re brushing it all over your walls.
But if you’re like most people, you usually just grab a pizza and watch TV while the stuff is drying.
You have no idea what you’re missing.
The time between application and dryness is the most crucial time period in the entire painting process. Before you can come to a realization as to what color best fits your unique wall, you’d best take a gander at one of our paint drying videos.
Unconvinced? Just ask one of our satisfied customers:
CUSTOMER #1: Hello. I’m Ted from Wisconsin. I do my best to keep the missus happy. Happy wife, happy life you know? So after three days in the hardware store trying to figure out the difference between “Forest Green” and “Emerald Green” my wife finally decided to force me to watch twenty-five hours of footage of various shades of green drying on walls. After all that, she just decided to go with wallpaper. Thanks Paint Drying Media. Thanks a lot. Our divorce attorneys thank you too, you friggin’ a-holes.
Wasn’t that last bit supposed to be edited out? Oh well, moving on.
Here, at Drying Paint Media, our technicians are hard at work producing and maintaining over 1 million hours of paint drying footage. We slap it on the wall, we video it while it dries, and we offer the footage as streamable media through our site.
Still not convinced? What say you, Customer #2?
Customer #2: Oh thanks, Drying Paint Media. Thanks a lot. I used to look forward to crashing on the couch with my wife at the end of the day to watch a movie or one of my favorite shows. I haven’t watched Game of Thrones all season because my wife just sits me down and makes me stare at your damn paint drying videos. Everyone at the office talks about what the Khaleesi just did while all I can talk about is what’s the difference between “Charcoal Grey” and “Pencil Grey.” May you all rot in the bowels of hell, you sons of $%$#”
Woops! Looks like someone’s asleep at the switch in our editing department. That happens from time to time. You can only watch so many drying paint videos without dozing off.
Our dedicated technicians give it their all to produce quality drying paint videos for your viewing pleasure.
So, shut off Netflix, folks. Eighty-six movies on demand, say so long to Showtime, and give HBO the heave-ho. Pop the pocorn and gather the family around the television tonight to take in all of the fabulous drying paint footage that Drying Paint Media has to offer!
SPOILER ALERT: the paint dries at the end.
Images courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.
Bookshelf Battle 