Do I…do I even have a life anymore?
Three movie reviews in one week, BQB?
BQB, why are you talking about yourself in the third person?
I don’t know.
Art! Italy! Puzzles! Symbols! History!
I know. They don’t become more exciting when you add the question mark. Jeb! Bush taught us that.
BQB here with a review of the new thriller, Inferno.
America’s Dad Tom Hanks returns as noted symbologist/puzzle solver Professor Robert Langdon to round out the films based on Dan Brown’s Langdon books (The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, respectively).
In the prior two films, Langdon ends up running around Europe examining art and old relics in a race against time to stop some bad guy from doing some bad shit and he usually ends up with some hot chick running around with him.
Holy shit. I can do that. Why don’t I have as many as many readers as Dan Brown?
Honestly, 3.5 readers. You guys have to get off your asses and get me more readers. Try to be more like Dan Browns’ readers and become a ridiculously large amount of readers.
Getting back to the review, Langdon is once again running around Europe in the company of a hot chick. This time the chick is Dr. Sienna Brooks (Felicity Jones, who between this film and the upcoming highly anticipated Star Wars: Rogue One in which she plays the lead character Jyn Erso, that squirrel toothed hottie is having herself one fantastic ass Fall).
You know 3.5, after seeing 2009’s Angels and Demons, I wondered if maybe Dan Brown’s books didn’t translate that well to film. I’d read A + D and found that Brown took a lot of time explaining the history and context between the artwork that Langdon was examining and it was almost like reading a professorial treatise with lots of action thrown in to keep me from snoring.
The films lose that aspect due to the fast pace nature of a riveting movie. Still, I think Director Ron Howard aka Opie makes up for it because in this third installment, you jump right into the action immediately.
Robert Langdon wakes up in a hospital with a head wound and amnesia, no idea how he got there.
Dr. Brooks is his treating physician and takes it upon herself to save the wounded Langdon from incoming bad dudes.
From there, the game is on as somehow Langdon has the secret to stopping a mad man’s plan to release the Plague (yes, the damn Plague!) upon the world. As you can guess from the film’s title, Langdon will have to use his professorial knowledge of Dante’s Inferno to solve this caper.
Ben Foster, who played a douche bank robber in this year’s Hell or Highwater continues to cement his status as douchey character actor by playing the douche who is convinced that the world’s population is growing at such an alarming rate that the only way to save the planet is to kill off a bunch of people with a medieval virus.
What a douche.
I don’t want to give away much more. As in the other two films, I do walk away feeling like I received a history lesson that didn’t put me to sleep, though at times the plot was confusing.
Felicity, I’m sorry I said you have squirrel teeth. Your teeth are adorable. I’m glad your career is taking off and I look forward to seeing more of you and your teeth on the big screen in the future.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy.
Bookshelf Battle 