The first Den of Thieves caught me by surprise. It didn’t do well at the box office but caught traction when it hit Netflix, so much so I had long assumed it was a Netflix original and was thus surprised when this sequel was released to theaters. But apparently it was the original was a flick destined to be forgotten until Netflix breathed new life into it and generated enough interest for a second go around, albeit 7 years later.
The first film was non-stop action and shootouts. This one is more of a thinker. At times, I felt like it tried to be an updated European version of Heat and by the way, it’s time for my yearly rewatch of that fine film.
As you might recall from the first film, LA Sheriff’s Department Detective Nick O’Brien (Gerard Butler) investigated a crew of ex-Marines who robbed the Federal reserve, only to realize at the end that their driver Donnie Wilson (O’Shea Jackson) was the mastermind of it all, and eluded Nick’s capture.
Here, in this sequel, Donnie has fled to Europe and begun working with the Panther mafia to plan an elaborate diamond heist. Nick, fed up with his life (his wife left him, wants alimony, and his police superiors are trashing him over events in the first film) decides to break bad and join Donnie’s crew, whether Donnie wants him or not.
Whereas in the first film, the heisters depended largely on heavy firepower, here the villains use high tech gadgets and tricks. If you’re patient through two-thirds of the movie, the end will wow you with an elaborately pulled off heist followed by the thrills and chills of a high stakes, dangerous get away.
Butler does some serious acting as a frazzled, grizzled old cop who is tired of the grind. O’Shea holds his own as a genius robber who loves the thrill of the game.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. It definitely would get lost as a summer release but is above average for standard January fare.
Let me say up front that if you like horror movies, you’ll like this one. If you don’t like horror movies, then you won’t. I genuinely don’t like horror movies. I feel like there are enough horrors in life already to bother with fictional ones, but this was such a dreadful holiday movie season that I had to seek entertainment somewhere. Personally, I didn’t find it here but again, like I said, that’s because I don’t like horror movies. If you do, this one is for you, and artistic one at that.
If you’ve seen Robert Eggers’ past movies (The Northman, for example), you know this is a director who doesn’t play around with historical accuracy. True, it’s difficult to recreate long ago times but this movie maker actually tries. You won’t find any Netflixian flourishes here. The characters don’t speak as though they are the only ultra woke 2020s folk suffering through the backward days of 1838. There’s no super woke polyracial, polyamorous lesbian running the show, bossing dudes around and kicking the asses of 300 pound goons four times her size. Here, the English spoken is old timey indeed, as are the attitudes. Men are the caretakers of women, who obey their husbands and seek their protection. Ahh, the good old days. What, you’re going to complain? OK well I can handle 3.5 angry complaint letters. No problem, nerds.
Action movie buffs might lament this also leads to a lack of fun. There’s no wacky scientist with ahead of their time, CGI dependent inventions to defeat the monster and his hordes of CGI infused minions, for example. There’s just Count Orlok, Temu Dracula, if you will, an East European royal who hides in the shadows for a good chunk of the film. Played by Bill Skarsgard, he frightens you with his brooding voice long before you see his hideous, even more scary appearance on film.
This is a movie where typecast actors, and perhaps one soon to be typecast young actress, prevail. Skarsgard has been Hollywood’s go to guy to for years now, ever since IT, to play monsters made with multiple layers of prosthetics. Critics are calling him the modern equivalent of Bella Lugosi or Lon Chaney.
Nicholas Hoult gives us his second turn as an affable nerd who is swept by chance into the world of vampirism and he struggles his way out of it despite being visibly scared shitless all the while. His first such turn was as the titular character in the recent comedy, Renfield.
Willem DeFoe has cornered the market on playing super creepy assholes and does it again as occult scholar, Professor Von Franz. He is the dude who has done the research on how to defeat Orlok, but no one wants to believe the villainous vamp or his supernatural powers are for realsies and they definitely don’t want to use Von Franz’s methods, which are, at times, almost as evil as Orlok’s.
Aaron-Taylor Harding plays the role he plays best – the handsome dumb guy. Here, he stars as Friedrich, the friend of Hoult’s Hutter, entrusted with the care of Hutter’s wife, Ellen, while Hutter is away on a business trip to Orlok’s castle that goes awry – because, you know, it’s 1838 and women can’t be left alone by themselves, especially this one who suffers from super nasty nightmares.
Friedrich doesn’t believe in any of this nonsense and lack of belief in evil is the true villain that Von Franz has to fight in this film. While Von Franz comes across as a batshit nutter, the tables are eventually turned and anyone who doesn’t believe in evil (I mean, if you believe in good then you’re nuts if you don’t believe in evil, right?) comes across as the batshit nutter.
Stealing the show is Lily-Rose Depp, the 25 year old daughter of our beloved Captain Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp. As an 1838 woman who flails about wildly, speaking in tongues as she is possessed by Orlok, she steals the show and proves her mettle to handle any Tim Burton-esque, Victorian creepo that her old man, or his female counterpart, Helena Bonham Carter, played before her. No, Tim Burton is not involved in this film, but Eggers’ directorial style can be best described as Tim Burton-esque, but without the flair, or humor and instead, just straight up depression and fear.
At any rate, Lily-Rose does her old man proud and this will no doubt be the breakout role that secures her many a movie deal in the years to come. Expect to see more of her.
Film buffs are aware that Nosferatu is basically a rip-off of Dracula. It hearkens back to the early days of film when Hollywood wanted to make a vampire tale based on Bram Stroker’s Dracula but one can assume, didn’t want to pay royalties, so they just created Count Orlok instead. This film borrows from both tales – Nosferatu and Dracula, with the central premise being that a young lawyer is invited to the Count’s castle under the auspices of securing a property purchase deal, only to unwittingly unleash hell on earth and must fight to put this evil genie back in its bottle.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy, but keep it away from my shelf, please. Too scary for my tastes, but you’ll like it if you’re a big weirdo. I must protest that this film is out of place in the holiday movie season. Sure, it takes place during a cold winter but really Hollywood? A horror film at Christmas time? This was truly a terrible holiday movie season.
This movie reminds of many an Aaron Sorkin film that takes you “behind the scenes.” Behind the scenes in the halls of congress. Behind the scenes of a TV show. Behind the scenes of the I Love Lucy show, or here, behind the scenes of the papal election process. Luckily for us viewers, Aaron Sorkin wasn’t involved because like his films, this one is very heavy on the dialogue but unlike in his films, the dialogue is believable and digestible.
The pope has passed and Cardinal Lawrence, the Dean of the College of Cardinals (Ralph Fiennes) is tasked with the duty of running the conclave, that most secretive of procedures in which cardinals from all over the world gather behind closed doors at the Vatican, are sequestered, cut off from all contact and news from the outside world until they reach a majority vote on who the next Pope will be.
They must choose one of their own ranks and though they are supposed to have lived holy lives, each carries baggage that threatens to undo their candidacy. At least the frontrunners do. They are human, after all.
Frontrunners include members of warring factions – the liberals Bellini (Stanley Tucci) and Tremblay (John Lithgow) fear the Catholic Church will go backward under conservative Tedesco (Sergio Castellito). Cardinal Adeyemi of Africa (Lucien Msamati) has enough support to potentially become the first pope of color while dark horse candidate Benitez (Carlos Diehz) has just become known to his brothers under mysterious circumstances. The late pope had granted him leadership of the archdiocese of Kabul, Afghanistan in secret for fear that going public would have led to the demise of Benitez and any Catholics under his watch in a lawless, radical Muslim country.
Tedesco is portrayed as a scene chewing villain though if you’re a conservative, you’ll think he has a point or two. I know I did, but anyway.
Isabella Rosselini plays Sister Agnes, the head nun at the Vatican. Her ranks are usually seen and not heard though she has important info to share.
Speaking of info, Lawrence is burdened with the task of rooting out corruption and boy, there’s a lot of it. He does this with a heavy heart because a) he’s suffering a crisis of faith b) he sees all of the cardinals as his brothers and does not like politics and muckraking and c) there are ancient rules about what can and can’t be done vis a vis information found that he must navigate through. One by one, each frontrunner is faced with a scandal that threatens their undoing and Lawrence, who would rather not have the job, must sus out the deets of chicanery perpetrated by his colleagues. Even worse, he becomes a frontrunner himself due to his track record of good behavior. That would be good news for any other cardinal but not for Lawrence, because he really doesn’t want the job. He’s not sure if he even wants his current job anymore.
The good? This movie is part mystery and part political intrigue thriller. The frontrunners are set up like so many dominos only to be knocked down. It seems a miracle that any man could be elected to such a holy office, given that the slightest act of human infallibility can lead to a candidate’s undoing.
What could this movie have done better?
A) You don’t always get the answers to some of the mysterious questions posed. The actions of various cardinals are questioned. The cardinals defend themselves and claim the accusations are outrageous. Sometimes you get the definitive smoking gun that shows said cardinal is full of crap. But as often happens in life, sometimes the question is left unanswered. Maybe the cardinal under examination was a scumbag or maybe they are unfairly maligned. The truth doesn’t always get presented with a gift wrapped bow.
B) Ralph Fiennes delivers an Oscar worthy performance, one of many in his long career. But while he portrays a good man who must complete a task that fills him with anxiety but does it with honor, we’re never told the events of his personal life that caused him to have a crisis of faith. We just know that he doesn’t like the politics of the Vatican, would prefer to run an archdiocese somewhere, anywhere else, but the Pope thought he was too good as a “manager” to let him leave the position.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. Obviously, there’s no action packed CGI here, but if you’re interested in the intrigue of Vatican City, this movie is for you.
How many readers must a blogger have before he can call himself a blogger?
The answer my friends is…3.5.
BQB here with a review of the Bob Dylan biopic.
SPOILERS ABOUND!
Then again how can there be spoilers when Bob Dylan is 83 years old. And if he really chain smoked as many cigarettes as his counterpart, Timothee Chalamet, did in this movie, he must have made some sort of deal with the devil to live this long.
In some ways, this film resembles most famous musician biopics. A young artist’s dream comes true when he finds fame and fortune. But alas, all the fame and money in the world can’t fill the hole in his soul. Various music industry suits want to exploit him for cash. He loses the only girlfriend who loved him and believed in him before the fame came because he succumbs to the temptation of all the other hotties who want him. Alas, after yearning to be famous for so long, he is now sad because he can’t have five minutes of peace without some fan shouting and pointing at him. Even worse, his fans don’t want him to grow as an artist and try anything new. They just want him to be a trained monkey who keeps spitting out his greatest hits.
In another way, this biopic is different. The title comes from a line in one of Bob’s songs, “Like a Rolling Stone.” (i.e. “how does it feel to be all on your own, a complete unknown?” But Bob is a complete unknown – to the world, to his fans, his friends, his lovers and even to himself.
When he hitches his way to New York City, he takes advantage of his new surroundings to reinvent himself. He never speaks honestly about his past. Instead, he makes up a story of a youth spent working for a circus, claiming that wandering cowboys taught him everything he knows about how to play the guitar. Everyone sees through the BS but his girlfriend, Sylvie (Elle Fanning) is exhausted by it. Bob won’t let her in and we spend the entire film wondering if Bob is just a dick who is gaslighting everyone into thinking he is a mystery man, or if he really does feel that way.
We never truly get an answer. Chalamet plays Bob as a walking contradiction. He walks and talks and presents himself as a man mired in depression – rumpled clothes and wild, unkempt hair, always mumbling (Dylan’s signature sound.) Yet he acts like a man with unbridled self-confidence, such that he has zero doubt his talent will land him at the top of the game.
Dylan provides the soundtrack of the 1960s. His song, “The Times They Are A-Changin'” couldn’t describe that time period any better. That era was a time of great change, of social justice protests and civil rights struggles, of moving away from comfort zones and challenging the status quo. Vietnam, political assassinations, clashes over civil rights marked the decade and Dylan’s songs captured it all with tones that somehow were equally depressing and uplifting.
Monica Barbaro plays folk singer Joan Baez, who rounds out the love triangle while Scoot McNairy and Ed Norton play Bob’s idols and mentors, popular folk musicians Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger, respectively. Personally, I wonder if this movie wasn’t made largely because Chalamet’s agent was like, “Hey Hollywood, if we slap a mop top wig and sunglasses on this little shit and make him mumble, it’ll make a great Bob Dylan flick,” but what do I know? For all I know this biopic could have been in the works a long time.
But while a lot of it follows the standard biopic formula, Ed Norton, IMO, deserves some Oscar recognition here. Ed tends to just play himself in a lot of movies (as most actors do) but he really turns into someone else when he takes on Seeger’s “Aw shucks” personality, mentoring his young protege and eventually coming at odds with him over differing views as to the direction in which folk music should go. Who is Pete Seeger, you younguns ask? Ever hear of a little song that goes, “This land is my land, this land is your land?” He made it into his 90s and Baez is still kicking at 83 so there must be something about folk music that gets all the gunk out of your soul so you can reach full longevity.
Folk music is all about acoustics and story-telling and at a crossroads where rock and roll is taking over, Dylan breathes new life into the artform by taking risks – to the delight of mainstream music listeners but to the chagrin of folk purists. You didn’t know there’s such a thing as folk purists? You do now.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. If you like Dylan’s music, you’ll love this soundtrack. If you are into 1960’s culture, it does capture the spirit of that turbulent decade. My only criticism is we never learn why Bob Dylan was such an enigma, what was he running from that he felt he had to shut down any talk of who he is and where he came from and adopt a mysterious persona? But I assume the movie doesn’t answer this question because the answer is unknown even to Bob Dylan.
What up, 3.5 hobbits? BQB here with a review of the latest LOTR joint.
This anime tells a tale set in LOTR world 183 years before Bilbo Baggins’ famous journey. While there are many fantasy races in Middle Earth, this film focuses on a war between humans – specifically, the Rohirrim or horse-lords, those residents of Rohan known for their skills in cavalry.
When a fist fight goes awry, it’s all-out war between the clans of young and vengeful Wulf and bad ass old King Helm Hammerhand. Brian Cox lends the only recognizable voice to the flick, though the other talent are top notch. While Helm and his sons and nephew fight bravely, Hera’s willingness to fight goes largely unrequited. But ultimately, through a series of events that I won’t explain as to avoid SPOILERS, Hera ends up being the Head Girlboss in Charge when her clan is trapped in a long abandoned, secluded stronghold as enemy forces lay siege.
The good? Stunning visuals. Great soundtrack. Relatively low budget of $30 million that has already seen a return of $12 million in the first weekend. Back in the day, when George Lucas made his three Star Wars prequels, he continued the fun for the franchise’s number one fans, children, with a series of Clone War cartoons. Fun animation was cheaper than live action, meant the characters could do more and weren’t limited by the bounds of live action and the plots could be simpler.
Personally, I think everyone involved in LOTR should have taken a page out of Lucas’ playbook way earlier and I wonder if they are now. Amazon has spent over a billion dollars on a live action LOTR prequel series that most fans universally agree has all the charm of a refried pile of moldy dog poop. Meanwhile, this animated film is solid, will likely earn a good return on its investment and is something everyone can enjoy.
While I’ve never been a fan of anime (this style where everyone is drawn with huge eyes and moves that open enormously wide has always been silly to me), this film does tone dawn some of anime’s worse tendencies (i.e. there’s no one with wide open pie holes as I just described) the visuals were great and look better on the big screen. Hollywood has gone all in on 3D animation, but this movie reminds us that 2D can still look great, that advancements in film make it look even better and creatives should explore it more.
The bad? The plot is pretty simple though I don’t necessarily mind that. So many films unnecessarily complicate things to the point where I feel like I have to break out a flowchart and a slide rule to figure out where it is all going. Here, you can easily guess the direction it is taking, though there are occasional surprises.
Also, though the fans who live and breathe this stuff might disagree, IMO as a casual observer, there’s not much connection to the LOTR franchise. There are occasional red meat references but by and large, this could have just been called “The Random Fantasy World War Movie” and still made sense but not as much money.
Overall, I think cartoons would be a great direction for LOTR to go in and maybe even Star Wars should consider it again. And 2D should be given more consideration. While 3D, when it is done well and a lot of money is spent on it, looks fabulous (i.e. Moana for example), many cheaply produced 3D shows look like crap so why not just go the 2D route?
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. Unpopular opinion: the LOTR early 2000s movies were very overrated and just a product of their time. Peter Jackson was a CGI master and brought audiences sights they had never seen before but ultimately those films have never been something I wanted to go back and watch again and again. I’ll doubt I’ll ever want to rewatch this film again, but I did enjoy seeing it the first time as I did the original LOTR films back in the day.
SIDENOTE: Yes, horror of horrors, it is a girlboss movie in a time when the largely male fan base of action and fantasy movies are male nerds. If you boil the movie down enough, its mostly about testosterone crazed brutes who won’t stop fighting over who a woman is going to marry and had they bothered to ask her, all the fighting would not have been necessary. (You know, that old fantasy world trope.)
While there are a few eye-rolling scenes where Hera bests a foe twice her size, overall she’s more believable since she walks through proverbial fire to learn her girlbossing skills as opposed to most girlboss movies where the girlboss is just born a girlboss because girls are bosses. And to the film’s credit, it takes a realistic approach to fantasy world dark age era thinking – i.e. all the dudes scoff at the idea of a girlboss whereas Netflix would just have a girl bossing all the dudes around in ancient times and no one ever questioning it.
Still, I have to remind Hollywood, if you want young men to grow up to be strong, chivalrous and protective of good values, you’ve got to give them a young male hero they can look up to and you haven’t done that in a long time.
Sigh. Let’s get the review of this stinkburger with extra turd fries over with.
“Of all the movies I’ve ever seen, this was certainly one.” I can’t take credit for that line because I read it on Twitter and the name of the quoted escapes me and I’m too lazy to look it up, just like the writers of this flick were too lazy to write a good movie.
When the trailer hit, I was looking forward to it. It looked like a fun spoof on the spy movie genre with a Christmas theme. Alas, when my butt hit the seat of my local theater, I immediately realized the problem, namely, that this movie took itself WAY, WAY, WAYYYYYYYYY to seriously. Imagine a Jason Bourne type film where spies engage in cloak and dagger espionage to rescue a kidnapped Santa Claus but there’s little to no humor and the occasional jokes rarely land.
Yep. I couldn’t wait for the flick to be over. The worst part is, two weeks later its already available on streaming media and that’s where it belongs, because it’s the type of movie best enjoyed while it’s on your TV in the background while you’re cleaning your house, or on a tiny cell phone screen while you’re on the toilet taking a dump, which is what this movie is.
The plot? The Rock stars in the only movie he couldn’t save as Callum Drift, the leader of Santa’s (JK Simmons) security detail. He’s one day from retirement, because he’s lost his passion for the job. The world has become a cesspool of way too many naughty people care only about the material gain of Christmas instead of the spirit of giving. Santa understands Callum’s theory but disagrees with the execution, for he believes in a time when everyone is a self-absorbed jerkface, now is the time when people need Santa more than ever. TBH, this theme is the most redeeming part of an otherwise forgettable movie.
When infamous cyber hacker Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans) is hired anonymously to track down highly secured intel, he didn’t realize the result would be the real life Santa would be kidnapped by yuletide baddies. In fact, Jack is shocked to realize Santa even exists, which is the classic plot hole of any movie where Santa exists, because where do people who are shocked to realize Santa exists think all those presents are coming from?
Anyway, Callum is pissed and forces O’Malley into aiding him on Santa’s rescue mission. They work for Zoe (Lucy Liu) the head of a spy agency designed to protect and/or monitor the fantasy world including various holiday mascots. Personally, I wondered if this part of the flick was just useless filler or if the producers hope more holiday spy movies are underway and if it’s the latter, I wouldn’t hold my breathe for a spies rescue the Easter Bunny flick given this film’s performance.
Callum and Jack navigate a Christmasy criminal underworld as they fight various ne’er-do-wells on the path toward saving our favorite man in red velvet. Had they done this with some humor, this movie might have become a beloved classic, but they do it seriously, so it will just take up space on your favorite streaming platform’s server. Maybe you’ll stream it next year while your scrub your toilet. Then you can actually sit on the couch and take a break while you watch It’s a Wonderful Life.
Kristofer Hivju of Game of Thrones fame is in it as Krampus though by the time he showed up I was checking my watch and debating whether or not it was worth it to leave early. Ultimately, I stayed because I’d already bought a ticket, but I suppose there’s room for debate about the sunken cost fallacy.
Kiernan Shipka of Mad Men and Sabrina the Teenage Witch Reboot fame rounds out the cast as the big bad.
STATUS: Not shelf-worthy. I watched it so you don’t have to. Who is this movie for? Your guess is good as mine. It’s too serious for kids to enjoy but too silly for adults so ultimately it’s for people to listen to while its on their TV in the background while they do the laundry.
SIDENOTE: The worst part? The film’s price tag. $250 million for a film that is utterly forgettable.
This post is defying gravity! La la la, defying gravity!
Let’s delve into the magic, shall we, 3.5 readers?
Well, it’s official. Wicked is a hit. So much so that it took me 3 weeks to get a ticket to see it at my local theater or any theater within reasonable driving distance. I only got a ticket this weekend because I thought ahead and bought it last week. In a time when theaters are at risk of going the way of the dodo, it’s great to see a film that puts butts in seats.
It’s primary fanbase? Females and families. Moms and daughters were singing along to the tunes that have become modern classics and producers would do well to take notes about what motivates the public to buy a ticket vs. waiting to stream at home.
Power, power and power. How do we get it? How do we hold onto it? You wouldn’t expect to learn so much about the nature of power in a movie based on a Broadway play based on a novel that serves as a prequel to one of the most beloved children’s stories of all the time – The Wizard of Oz, be it the original 1800s novel by L. Frank Baum or the beloved 1939 film starring Judy Garland.
Alas, as it turns out, the politics behind the land located somewhere over the rainbow are intense. The Wicked Witch of the West, the green skinned OG baddie of film whose black leather boots other movie villains aren’t worthy to lick, was just a scapegoat all along.
The story follows Elphaba (Cynthia Errivo) and Galinda (Ariana Grande) in their early years at Shiz University, the place where Ozians go to learn all things magic under the tutelage of headmistress, Madame Morrible (Michelle Yeoh.)
Elphaba has spent her entire life despised by all, from her classmates to her family, over the color of her green skin. It’s no different at Shiz, as she quickly descends to the lowest of social ranks while pretty and perky Galinda rises to the top. They become roommates and eventually, BFFS, until fantasy land politics drive them apart.
Literal scapegoating is at play as society starts pinning all the blame for the land of Oz’s ills at the feet or uh, paws and hooves, of talking animals. Humans want animals to stop talking and just bleat, bark, moo and cluck. Elphaba feels for them, in particular, goat professor Dillamond (Peter Dinklage) whereas Galinda, a pro at being popular as the song goes, just wants to rise through the ranks and obtain power, fame and yes, love from the masses and she can’t do that by going against the grain.
And so, a power struggle begins worthy of a political science classroom discussion. When any conflict arises, you can be an Elphaba and take the morally right but politically unpopular stance and become hated and despised by society. You can be one of the blind followers like so many residents of Oz who tow the line and do and believe as they are told without further introspection. Or you can be a Galinda, who knows the status quo is wrong but really, what can you do about it, so why rock the boat when you can just be pretty and smile and go along with the flow and collect all the benefits of being a goody two-shoes?
I suppose you as a member of the Oz fandom can pick and choose what you believe, which ironically, happens a lot to many of the characters in this tale. Truth is a matter of perspective, a lesson apparently known in the 1990s when the book that started it all (the long running Broadway play and now the movie) was written, and it certainly has never been more true in today’s social media age. But at any rate, if you want to believe the Wicked Witch of the West was indeed little more than a nasty, vile beatch on wheels who lived to oppress the Ozians with her villainous ways, then you can. But if you want to accept that Wicked is cannon and believe that said witch was just a victim of social injustice who was unfairly lambasted for taking a heroic stand on talking animal rights, you can too.
Cynthia Errivo really can belt out a tune and she’s beautiful, so honestly, I don’t get the marketing where she’s showing up to interviews bald with a big ass nose ring, but I suppose she likes that look and in the spirit of the film, we shouldn’t scapegoat her for it although I could write an entire separate post complaining about the weird trend of women putting rings in their schnozes.
Ariana Grande has long wowed young audiences as a pop star sensation but this is her first starring role and she nails it. This was the role she (and other past Galindas) was born for – perky, charming, popular and only inadvertently evil.
And of course it wouldn’t be a movie with an eccentric dude in charge of everything with weird ways without Jeff Goldblum.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. This movie was only part 1 and alas we’ll be waiting awhile for part 2. There’s a reason this story formed the basis for one of the longest running and beloved Broadway shows of all time. It has a lot of heart and if you’ve ever been unfairly picked on then you’ll identify with Elphaba’s struggle. Wicked puts butts in seats, whether those butts are on Broadway or in a theater near you, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.
He’s got a particular set of skills…if only he could remember them.
BQB here with a review of the latest Liam Neeson flick.
About 15 years ago, Liam Neeson had a surprise hit with “Taken” and thus ushered in a new era where he was reinvented as an old man action movie star. It’s not like he had much competition because Hollywood would rather lose millions than put a macho man on screen but that’s another post for another time.
I’ll be honest, none of the Liam action flicks that came next ever matched up to Taken, even Taken 2 and 3 (you’d think these idiots would stop letting themselves get taken). Like M Night Shyamalan who made one great movie with a fantastic twist at the end only to make a dozen movies with stupid twists at the end, Liam could never quite capture lightening in the bottle.
That’s not to say EVERY Liam action film was bad. There were many that are worth your time. A few that come to mind – The Commuter, The Ice Road and 2019’s Cold Pursuit blends dark comedy and action together such that in my mind, it’s the only one that comes close to living up to the Taken legacy.
But since 2020, Liam has released a string of movies that were, in my opinion, total dogshit. They just seemed like a cash grab, someone slapped together a bare bones action movie flick script and stuck the old guy in there for a pay day. The last couple I literally only watched half before I said eff it and turned it off because I was so bored I couldnt get through the last half.
And worse, all his latest movies feature him as an old tough guy who is dying from something and has to make amends before he croaks, and they crowbar a romance in for him with a 40 year old woman because God fordbid a 70 year old movie star be seen on screen with a 70 year old woman.
Anyway…now that preamble is out of the way, let me tell you about this movie where Liam once again stars as an elderly tough guy who is dying from something and has a romance with a 40 year old woman crowbarred in. This time I made it through the end. You might say I had to since I bought a ticket to see it in the theater but I wouldn’t steer you wrong. If I streamed this one on Netflix I’d still watch it till the end because it is better than his usual slapped together faire.
Liam stars as a no named (credited as “The Thug”) aging gangster who has lived a total scumbag’s life. He does jobs for Boston mobster Charlie Connor (Ron Pearlman) and has been given the task of teaching Connor’s hothead young son Kyle (played by Daniel Diemar) how to make it in the criminal underworld so he can take the reigns one day from his equally elderly Pops. The Thug’s advice for the youngblood? Just don’t do it. This is the kind of life that you do because you HAVE to but when you come from money, you’ll never make it. You’ll never be able to bring yourself to do the things you have to do to make it as a criminal if you can afford not to.
A chance encounter with “The Woman” (boy this movie likes to withhold names) played by Yolanda Ross begins a romance between two people who understand each other. Both have lived lousy lives and both understand the pain the comes with having to do things that are morally wrong just to live another day.
It looks like this romance might bring one small sliver of sunshine into the life of an old man who has known nothing but pain when he starts noticing he is forgetting little things. A diagnosis of a brain disease comes with terrible news – his memory will slip more and more until he will no longer be able to take care of himself. Throughout the film we see him forget more and more and it comes with the anger and violent rage that often comes when similarly afflicted people are frustrated when they can’t remember basic things.
Thus, the clock starts ticking. With a notepad to remind him of the deets, Thug sets out to make amends to those he has wronged, in particular his estranged daughter who hates him and wants nothing to do with him and a victim of one of his recent crimes that he never intended to victimize. To level up the stakes, someone is trying to kill him and he needs to figure out who.
Overall I give it a solid B. It’s worth your time. Not sure its worth a trip to the theater but definitely stream it someday. You won’t want to watch it again and again and in 6 months, you will have forgotten it, not because you have a brain disease but because it isn’t that memorable.
I will say though the title of the movie is “absolution” and it is film about a man trying to make up for past sins. It’s a film about intergenerational trauma, as Thug’s daughter explains, Thug is bad because his father was bad as was his father before, all the way back to the first “asshole caveman who spawned them all.” We carry pain our parents pass down and we have to try to not pass that pain on to our kids even though we often can’t help but do so even when we are trying not to. And we never truly start to get better until we admit we have done wrong and try to make amends with those we have wronged. So it does have a good message about how its impossible to change yet you don’t get better until you try to change. If that makes sense.
Hold onto your cash, 3.5 readers. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
In my humble opinion, Netflix puts out a lot of crap, and I mean a lot. Most of it is unwatchable. One wonders why I even subscribe, but that’s a whole other conversation for another day.
At least once, maybe in a blue moon twice, a year, they put out one really good movie. For me, last year’s was Reptile. This year, they were due, and Rebel Ridge is it. Again, that’s my opinion. Maybe you think this is trash and another one of their offerings that I thought was trash you enjoyed. It’s all subjective.
This movie reminds me of Rambo, not the international warrior from Rambo 2 and 3, but the ex soldier in 1, who was just taking a walk, minding his own business, when a jerk cop hassled him, it escalated and a small town turned into a war zone.
In this case, Aaron Pierre plays Terry Richmond, a man with a simple mission. He’s visiting a small town with a large stash of cash in his backpack to bail out his cousin. Alas, he is quite rudely stopped by the local police, who perform an impromptu civil forfeiture of Terry’s cash on ridiculous, trumped up charges. The cops explain to Terry that he’s free to fight the move in civil court, but to do so will take years, cost him more than he lost, plus if he does, they’ll file one bogus criminal charge on him or another.
For most people, this terrible experience would just be a painful and very expensive learning lesson. Do not walk around with that much cash.
But Terry is in a real bind. His cousin, Mike, ratted on some bad dudes in the past. Bail for his current offense would just mean he is released and likely to just get light sentence, but if he isn’t bailed out, he’ll be transported to county jail, where friends of sad bad dudes ratted upon reside, and well you know how that will play out.
And so, the local cops learn the hard way that Terry was the wrong hombre to mess with. He’s actually a soldier who trains other soldiers how to fight. And boy is he ever in for a big brawl because this corrupt force isn’t lying down easy.
You see, noble reader, the true villain of the movie is (try not to yawn) civil forfeiture law. It’s been in the news the past few years with countless stories about how people’s money, homes and livelihoods are snatched up by the government with reckless abandon, all based on a suspicion, and it takes years and oodles of more money to fight it to get the confiscated property back, if that ever even happens. As the flick explains, the po po only take the allegedly illicit property to court so rare is the case where a judge actually hears the owner’s side of the story.
And a super corrupt police chief played by Don Johnson has gone in deep with civil forfeiture, such that he’s funded his own private little fiefdom. Anna Sophia Robb tags along as a plucky court clerk/law student who explains the whole ins and outs of civil forfeiture to us dumb audience folk and occasionally get into peril and needs to be rescued by Terry.
SIDENOTE: When I saw her I immediately said, “That’s the kid from Bridge to Terabithia!” Yep. But all grown up now. Time is an MFer.
The good? There’s a lot of action and really did remind me of the first Rambo film.
The bad? It all seems to escalate unnecessarily. There are times when it seems like a no brainer that both sides would just give up and walk away. I know this is a film so that can’t happen, but there are a lot of contrived happenings to explain why Terry and the cops keep going at it.
My ultimate complaint, this, Bad Boys and Axel F were the best action movies of the year and they all depicted corrupt cops as the villains. Does it happen? Sure. Does it happen as often as Hollywood would like us to believe? Hardly. It just feels like Hollywood is so afraid of offending any other possible group that when it comes to action flicks, they’re only willing to cast cops as the bad guys.
Speak a good review about this movie, 3.5 readers. It is worth it.
You know, 3.5 readers, I normally don’t do horror movies. That’s because my life is horrifying enough. What’s that? You’ve got a movie about a masked maniac with a chainsaw who cuts up co-eds? That’s nice. Try dating after 40 and all the various dating sites can offer you is a plethora of middle aged blue haired, nose ringed wack-a-doos who are all waiting for Chris Hemsworth to sweep them off their feat.
But you came here to read a movie review, not discuss my pitiful social life.
Jean Paul Sartre once famously said that “Hell is other people” and that’s one running theme of this sleeper hit. Seriously, I can’t rave enough about it and I think it’s going to be one of those movies that does well by word of mouth.
Why are other people so hellacious? Because you can’t control them, you have no idea what’s going on inside their heads, and worse, you have no clue if their various quirks and poor habits are signs of something dark and sinister afoot, or if maybe you’re just an uptight a-hole who judges people for being different. People would be so much less annoying if they’d just obey your commands at all times and defer to your preferences.
SIDENOTE: Judge people, 3.5 readers. Always assume the worst, and you’ll rarely be disappointed.
Scoot McNairy and Mackenzie Davis (she of Halt and Catch Fire fame) play Ben and Louise Dalton, an American couple recently relocated to London for work. While on vacation in Europe, they meet Paddy and Ciara (James McAvoy of Young Professor X fame and Aisling Franciosi).
These couples are very different. The Daltons are very proper and straight laced nerds, while Paddy and Ciara are wild and free, a couple of fun loving jokesters who live to party. Somehow, they hit it off and become fast vacation friends, even their children Agnes and Ant become BFFs.
Time passes and the Daltons fall back into their humdrum life when they receive an invite from their new buds to visit them at their farm in the British countryside. As it just so happens (you know, for the movie to happen) the Daltons are facing some personal struggles such that a second vacay would really hit the spot, so off they go.
All seems well at first, but things quickly turn sour. The couples clash. Quite a bit. They see eye to eye on nothing. And for most of the movie, you wonder if the problem is just that. Have you ever had to spend a few days visiting a friend or relative you disagreed with on nothing? The couples disagree on what to eat, how to act, what is and isn’t appropriate behavior, parenting skills. The list is endless.
The lengths we go to in order to avoid being impolite is the second and by far the biggest theme of the movie. Have you ever been thrust into a situation where you feel like you’re being asked to put your head on the proverbial chopping block, but you shrug and go along with it for fear of being called a party pooper?
Case in point. When Ben and Louise first meet Paddy, he offers to give their daughter a ride on his motorcycle. Close up of the parents, obvious pits of doom and despair in their stomachs. They’ve just met this guy and they are in a foreign country. He could just drive away with their daughter and they’d never see her again. Or maybe he’s a shitty driver and will get into a crash. But little Agnes is saying “please, please let me go” and Paddy comes across as a nice guy with the best of intentions. To say no might offend him. What? You think I’m a creep who would hurt your daughter? Well, screw you, this friendship is over, losers.
So off Agnes goes on the bike and you instantly know what is going to do the Daltons in. They just can’t say no. They’d rather suffer a million indignities than risk offending their new friends. So they say yes, and yes, and yes again. They put up with this. They say nothing about that. Are these new friends just very different? Eccentric? Weirdos? Is it just a case of culture clash with two couples with very different lifestyles?
Or with every yes that should be a no, are the Daltons stringing out more rope to hang themselves with?
And as you might expect, Paddy and Ciara are the ultimate gaslighters…or are they? That weird thing they just did that freaked you out? “Oh. Wow. We’re so sorry. We didn’t think that was a big deal. Guess we just do things different here in the country. Well, so sorry we offended you, feel free to go but we’d be so sad if you did.”
Yeah. We’ve all been in relationships like that, haven’t we? Where they do something horrible, you freak out and they talk you into apologizing for not being on board with the horrible.
SPOILER ALERT: You didn’t think it was just going to be a movie about people from different walks of life learning to get along despite their differences, did you? Of course there are nefarious doings afoot, and this horror film doubles as a mystery flick as the Daltons uncover just exactly what those shady doings are.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. A good kick-off to the Halloween horror movie season. Some very scary and gruesome scenes, though I can’t get into it without spoiling it. My usual complaint? Children are put in peril and I never like to see that in a movie. But the scares are real and it will leave you wanting to question the motives behind everything that BFF couple you hang out with does.
Bookshelf Battle 