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Jun 25 2015
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True Nerd Heroes

True Nerd Heroes – June 2015 – Don Featherstone

Inspiring nerds.  Amazing dweebs.  Fabulous poindexters.

It’s time for another installment of TRUE NERD HEROES, a monthly feature in which I, Nerd Extraordinaire Bookshelf Q. Battler, recognize an individual who has not only allowed his nerdy freak flag to flap in the breeze, but has also achieved greatness, thus inspiring all nerd kind.

BQB’s True Nerd Hero for June 2015 is none other than the late great Don Featherstone.

“Who is Don Featherstone?” you might ask.

Well, he wasn’t an actor, or a singer, or an entertainer of some kind.  His face was never plastered on any billboards and you’d of never found him on a red carpet.

So what did Don do that was so wonderful to earn himself a coveted spot in the Nerd Hall of Fame?

BEHOLD:

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Yes, Don Featherstone, World Renowned Inventor of the Pink Plastic Lawn Flamingo, has passed away at the age of 79.

An artist by trade, Mr. Featherstone developed the lawn flamingo while working for Union Products during the 1950’s.  The product took off, quickly became a staple on suburban lawns across the country and in later years became a delightfully ironic symbol of tackyness.

Don Featherstone NY Times Story

Multiple news stories read by this nerd indicate Don was an artist of great talent but embraced the gaudy side of things due to the financial stability his invention brought him.

Don’t sweat it, Don.  Your little pink creations have brought smiles to many a face, even if those faces often belong to pranksters who put them on their neighbors’ lawns just to mess with them.

Most impressively, Don also won an Ig Nobel Prize, a parody of the Nobel Prize, given to trivial and insignificant achievements in scientific research.

Trivial?  Albert Einstein may have discovered the theory of relativity, but he never had an invention that inspired a horrendous 1970’s John Waters movie starring Divine of Hairspray fame.

Sorry Don, I probably could have forgot to mention that one.

Anyway, nerds of the world, be inspired!  Know that you don’t need to crack a confounding code or turn a scientific theory upside down to make a long lasting achievement to the world.

Why, your contribution to this great big bowl of society soup we call Earth might be as simple as a little pink lawn ornament.

Godspeed, Mr. Featherstone.  May your plastic eyesores pop up all over God’s front lawn until the end of time.

Who should be BQB’s True Nerd Hero for July?  Nominate a nerd who has inspired you in the comments on bookshelfbattle.com or tweet it to @bookshelfbattle #truenerdheroes

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May 30 2015
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True Nerd Heroes

True Nerd Heroes -James Corden – May 2015

Super Geeks.  Fabulous nerds.  Dynamite dweebs.  In search of the perfect poindexter, I’m scouring the globe to find dorks who have cast aside society’s inherent anti-nerd bias and made their way to the top.

Thus, my first “True Nerd Hero” is British comedian James Corden, who recently succeeded Craig Ferguson as host on CBS’ The Late Late Show.

The Late Late Show with James Corden – CBS – Arnold and other celebs put James on the path to talk show host glory.

He’s chubby.  He’s an infrequent shaver.  And no offense to this talented funny man but he kind of reminds you of that kid in high school who really shines in drama club but everyone feels the need to warn him to find another career because Hollywood doesn’t accept people who look like he does.

That’s less of a knock on normal, average looking people than it is on a movie industry that at some point decided that everyone in a film, from the main star to the extra waiter who’s on camera for five seconds to deliver the star a meal needs to look like a supermodel.

Alas,  the average person doesn’t have the time to work on their body 24/7 so to see a dude on TV who looks like he’d join us for a beer and some hot wings after the show is refreshing.

Corden is an inspiration to every nerd who, in his mind has said, “I want to sing!  I want to dance!  I want to act!” only to look in the mirror, sigh, and say, “But darn it, no one will want to see me do any of those things so I guess I’d better be an accountant.”

Hell, breaking into Hollywood isn’t easy for a Matt Damon look alike seeing as how there’s a limited number of paying acting gigs vs. an unlimited supply of perfect hair having, shiny teeth sporting, six pac ab having sons of bitches lined up to compete for them.

God bless you James, for clawing your way over all of them to become a true nerd hero.

Goddamn it man, you had a lead role in 2014’s Into the Woods, a movie where you sang opposite Emily Blunt and Anna Kendrick.  That’s true geek greatness.  You could have stopped right there and been a legendary geek but no, now you have your own TV show.

You hob nob with the uber rich and ultra successful and these people have accepted you as one of their own.  Moreover, you’ve fully embraced the concept of the late night talk show revolution, one where people care less about staying up late to watch some vapid celebrity drone on but rather engage them by performing some bit or game with them in an Internet clip we can watch whenever we want.

You’re a true nerd hero, James Corden.  You’ve convinced a new generation of nerds to follow their dreams.

Who should be BQB’s True Nerd Hero for June?  Nominate a nerd who has inspired you in the comments on bookshelfbattle.com or tweet it to @bookshelfbattle #truenerdheroes

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