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TOP TEN WORST TV SHOW ENDINGS/SERIES FINALES EVER #8 – How I Met Your Mother (2004-2014)

Hey 3.5 readers.  Your old pal BQB here.

I’ve been working on this list a long time now and I never seem to run out of TV shows that ended badly.

Today, I want to talk about a great show that sadly screwed the pooch in the end.  Yep, I’m talking about the long running series “How I Met Your Mother.”

Oh and FYI – SPOILERS!  So, if you haven’t watched it yet, don’t read below.

Ironically, I never watched this show while it was on the air.  I assumed it was one of many vapid CBS comedies about young, beautiful people pretending to have problems but they don’t really have them.  “Waah, boo hoo I’m so pretty and so sad.”

But as it turns out, it’s not that bad at all.  Funny, the first episode I saw was the last one.  After hearing about this show about a man telling his kids the story of how he met their mother for years, I figured it might be interesting to check out the final show where he meets “the mother.”

At the time, I thought it was nice but then over time, I went back and streamed the show from the beginning on Netflix and…yeah…that ending sucked the big one.

Unlike many sitcoms where you can come in at any time and not be lost, this series really is cumulative and better watched from the beginning.

The best short description I can give it is that it is “Friends” for the tail end of Generation X (or the beginning of the Millenials, depending on how you’re keeping score.  I know that can be confusing as “Friends” was also a big show for Generation X (but the older Gen Xers.)

Ted (Josh Radnor), Robin (Cobie Smulders), Marshall (Jason Segel), Lily (Alyson Hannigan) and Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) five youngsters just trying to make it in Manhattan.

As they go forth into the world, the show explores a variety of issues that often affect people as they move from their early twenties into their thirties or in other words, as they escape adolescence and struggle to make the best of adulthood.

Each character suffers career setbacks – i.e. their chosen professions don’t work out anywhere near the way they thought.

The characters suffer losses – i.e. parents grow old and die or decide they don’t like each other anymore and get divorced.

They experience regret and suffer sadness over thinking “What if this” and “If only I had done that” and they learn how to cope with the fact that there’s no time travel machine for them to use to go back in time and prevent themselves from making mistakes.

They all suffer romantic heartaches and Ted suffers the most.

The show is narrated from the perspective of an older Ted (voiced by Bob Saget).  Ted, an older man, calls his young children into his home office, sits them down in front of his desk and begins to tell them the story of “How I Met Your Mother.”  The show runners showed a great deal of foresight as to the show’s longevity as they recorded a number of interactions with the kids that could be used to interact with Older Ted (who we don’t see  until the very end sitting at the desk, it’s just assumed he’s there talking to the kids).

Over the course of ten seasons (this is reflected as the kids often joke about their father’s horribly long winded story telling style), we see Ted move from a young, recent college graduate to a mature adult man.

Ted is madly in love with Robin, who he sees as his end all, be all, the perfect woman, the woman that can bring all sorts of eternal happiness to his soul.

We’ve all met someone like that and we all know it feels pretty shitty when that love goes unrequited.  Even worse, an experience like that can make us doubt future relationships.  After all, if you met someone who gave you butterflies, won’t it feel like settling if you end up with someone who doesn’t?  But then again, how likely is it to get that butterfly feeling in your life more than once?  Should you really wait for it to come again?

Life is complicated as the show tells us.  Though it is filled with great humor, we learn that life’s greatest problems aren’t all black and white.  Sure, you could hate Robin for denying Ted…or you could understand that Robin wants something very different than what Ted wants.

Ted dreams of a stable home life filled with kids and a loving wife who adores him and will work on house projects with him and shop for curtains and so on.  Robin dreams of becoming a big time TV reporter, traveling the world, going on awesome adventures and making a lot of money.

Thus, as much as these two do love each other, Robin at least realizes she probably would not have the type of personality that Ted yearns for in the long run.

The show moves on.  Ted meets a series of woman.  Each time, we wonder if this woman will be “the mother.”  Ted is abused by some of these women and at other times, Ted screws the pooch royally with these women.  It’s reflective of the average love life – sometimes people get screwed over and sometimes they do the screwing over.

By the time the last episode rolls around, Ted is forlorn as hell, having to go through an indignity no man should suffer through – being expected to go to the wedding of the woman he loves (Robin) to his one of his best friends (Barney.)

That’s another lesson of the show.  Sometimes love will come in an inconvenient manner.  Rarely does it ever show up when you want it to by appointment under the best of circumstances.   Like Robin, Barney also yearns for that flashy, jet setting lifestyle and so he and Robin are perfect for each other…though it causes all sorts of turmoil given that they both are friends with Ted.

But then things look up for Ted.  Ted’s about to kiss New York goodbye, ready to move on to Chicago, a new city that isn’t filled with so many sad memories for him, when he meets…”the mother!”

Robin and Barney are happy.  Ted and “The Mother” are happy…it looks like the show will end happily for all and then…SPOILER…the mother dies.  Yup.  They kill off the mother right after we meet her…after the show’s biggest fans were waiting ten years to meet her.

At some point, we see Robin and Barney staying in a hotel in some exotic location Robin is reporting (she finally got her dream job) from.  Barney has become a successful blogger, sharing the many secrets of how to score with chicks he learned from his days as a super pervert.

You’d think they’d be happy – after all, Robin is traveling all over the world on her network’s time and Barney is tagging along with a new career that he can do from anywhere as long as he brings his laptop but, we’re told they are miserable with this lifestyle, but to me, that just seems so out of character.  All those two wanted was a) love b) adventure and c) to not have to sacrifice one for the other.  They’re fellow adventurers who love one another and can travel the world together…not sure how that’s wrong for them.

Yes, Barney hooked up with Robin and you’re not supposed to do that to your bro but hey, love is messy and sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

Somehow, Robin ends up essentially being punished for doing what her gut told her to do.  She ends up giving this long, tearful speech to Lilly about how she regrets dumping Ted, the only man she loved who loved her but now it’s too late, for Ted has moved on and is with the mother now.

I mean, yeah, any guy who has ever been dumped by the girl of his dreams, his great dream is to find one more girl of his dreams and then have the first girl become beside herself with misery and woe about dumping him.

Long story short, Robin ends up an old spinster in her apartment, apparently a punishment for choosing her career over Ted, but the mother dies because the writers just didn’t have the guts to let the Ted/Robin romance go.  The show closes with an old Ted rushing to an old Robin’s apartment to profess his love, his kids giving him his blessing as much time has passed since “The Mother’s” death.

Sigh.  Just…yeah…sigh.  The happier ending would have been that Robin isn’t a bad person for recognizing what she wanted and going for it, even if that meant putting career over love.  She had confidence in herself that she’d find love after her she found her career.

The happier ending would have been that Ted didn’t lie down like a dog and die because Robin didn’t love him.  He kept putting himself out there.  He kept trying.  He finally met his second dream girl.

The happier ending would have been that Robin and Barney, two adventurers, end up together, and Ted and “the Mother” two homebodies who yearn to be loving, doting parents, end up together.

But nope.  No.  We get to meet the mother and then she’s taken away.  I mean, I guess in a dark way, that’s a happy ending for Ted.  He gets his second dream girl and then he also gets to be with his first dream girl as an older man.

But for a show called, “How I Met Your Mother” everyone naturally assumed the end of that title should be, “How I Met Your Mother…and How We Lived Happily Ever After.”

Nope.  Instead, the show should have been called, “How I Met Your Mother…and Boy Am I Glad that Bitch Croaked So I Can Finally Bone Robin Now that She’s So Old She’s Given Up On Finding Anyone Else to Bone Her!”

Guess that title would not have been as catchy.

Don’t get me wrong.  If you haven’t seen it (why did you read this then) you should still watch it.  I laughed.  I cried.  Honestly, at times I debated whether to continue to watch the show because some of the heartaches and regrets, sadness over failures and bad decisions really got to me and made me relive my own pain in my mind…I mean, that’s not a good thing to happen but it speaks to how well written the show is.

But wow.  That ending really stunk.

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Bring Back 2 Broke Girls!

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

This probably sounds like an unmanly post but whatever.  I like “2 Broke Girls.”  It’s my kind of humor.

I just finished it up to the end of the sixth and apparently last season.  I mean, I don’t want to spoil it but suffice to say the girls have better luck at life this season than the previous seasons.

Still, the overall point of the show is to highlight the struggle people have, especially young people who grow up thinking the world will be their oyster only to face the grim reality of every door of opportunity they try to walk getting slammed in their faces.

Along the way, the come across all sorts of characters who are also down on their luck.

Perhaps it seems silly to worry about a show that’s basically a big pile of fluff but from the very first episode, the girls chart out a course – they’re going to lift themselves out of poverty and become big time cupcake selling superstar moguls and I just think CBS is in the wrong for ending the show before that happens.

So if any other network out there wants to pick it up for at least a final wrap-up season (I’m looking at you, Netflix) I know you’d at least have me as a viewer.  I can’t guarantee my 3.5 readers will come along.  They never listen to me.

Overall, it sucks when networks do this.  These shows build up fans over the years that grow attached to the characters and invest time in watching their stories.  It’s uncool to leave the fans hanging.  We were told Max and Caroline would be super, ridiculously successful one day.  We should find out if that happens.

Hollywood, if you can’t make this happen, at least put Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs in something else.  Kat, and her copious bazongas are a delight.  Beth is fabulous too though she lacks Kat’s bazongas.  (As far as I know it’s cool to joke about this as it is a running joke in the show.)

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TV Trailer – Young Sheldon (CBS)

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

So on The Big Bang Theory, scientist Sheldon Cooper has often referred to his difficult upbringing in rural Texas, raised by a family that did not understand or particularly care for his brilliance.

CBS, in keeping with Hollywood’s trend of never being original, has devised a Big Bang spinoff, Young Sheldon, chronicling the life and times of Sheldon as a ten year old high school student in the late 1980s.

Gotta admit, the idea sounded terrible to me until I saw the trailer.  Then I found it really moving.  So perhaps, on occasion, a spinoff has the potential to be great.

For example, in the trailer above, Young Sheldon becomes a boy narc, ratting on every student he sees for trivial rule violations.  To Sheldon, this seems only logical.  People do something wrong, they should be called out on it.

However, Sheldon’s dad explains that he was once a football coach, and he saw some inappropriate activity and reported it.  Was he applauded?  No.  He was fired.

Thus, Sheldon learns a valuable lesson – that his father isn’t the failure that he thought he was and also, there’s logic and then there’s social etiquette.  Bottomline – pick your battles.  Suck up and look the other way on the petty stuff so that you’ll be prepared when the time comes where you really have to report a serious wrong.

Looks great.  I’m a little iffy on whether or not it will have any long lasting staying power, but it’s worth a try.

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2 Broke Girls Cancelled – Is this the End of Politically Incorrect Comedy?

Sigh.

Dry my tears, 3.5 readers.  Another one of my faves has been slapped onto the chopping block.

For the past six years, Max and Caroline (Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs) have been living a modern day Cinderella story, full of epic crudeness, disgusting-ness, all around raunchiness and epic debauchery.

The show was so bad that it was good.  I think the writers and cast even realized it.  The jokes weren’t just crowbarred in.  They were shoved down your throat with a plumber’s helper.

It was insensitive and super politically incorrect in a time when political correctness matters more than ever.

Gay people on the show weren’t just portrayed as gay but super flamboyant “Hey girl” lisping gay.

The girls’ boss, Asian diner owner Han Lee (Matthew Moy) was ridiculed about his height  (or lack thereof) by the girls to no end.

Hipsters were routinely dumped on.  Shameless trend followers were pooped on with reckless abandon.

In short, the show dove head first into every stereotype imaginable and yet, they managed to pull it off with a, “We’re sorry for doing this, but we really do love everyone and think everyone should get an equal shot at success in this crazy world” kind of vibe.

Comedy, and sitcoms especially,  unfortunately have a habit of reducing people to stereotypes.  It’s not always fair or even right but what else can you expect when there’s only twenty minutes (figuring for commercials) to tell a tale?

Max was born poor.  Caroline was born rich only to lose everything and for six years, Max served as Caroline’s friend and life coach, teaching her how to get by on nothing – literally nothing.

It’s a story young adults could jive with, especially in the post 2008 economy.  You thought you were going to get a big shot job and make a million dollars?  So did Caroline.  Sorry.  Those jobs don’t exist anymore.  Go grab an apron.  You’re a waitress now and no one cares if you have a fancy college degree.  It will look nice on your wall as you struggle to pay back the loan for it until the end of time.

And sure, all the characters on the show were stereotypical cookie cutter cartoon characters.  Oleg the cook was an unapologetic pervert.  Sophie the next door neighbor was built like a linebacker yet told the whole world she was hot and you were not.  Earl the cashier would occasionally pipe in with sassy jokes.

But the girls were cartoon characters too.  Max was a big boobed hustler who reviled in her ability to get men to do her bidding with the power of her boobs.  Caroline would walk around in her pearls as if this whole poverty thing was a setback and she’d be back to living the high life in no time.

I guess the point I’m making is that the girls lived in Brooklyn, a melting pot if there ever was one.  On there quest to become cupcake baking tycoons, they suffered all manner of mistreatment and setbacks but along the way, they made friends with people from all sorts of diverse backgrounds and walks of life.

Yes, everyone was reduced to being a cartoon character because that’s all the sitcom style allows for, but Max and Caroline, for all of their faults, stuck up for people.  Yes they made fun of people, but the people they made fun of would often turn the tables on them.

The moral of the story was that these girls were two wide-eyed dreamers who thought the world should go their way…and sometimes they’d crap on people in their way…and sometimes it would be fun to watch as the crapped on people crapped back on them…these were often people who had suffered more than they had and were willing to let them know that the world isn’t designed to go their way.

Yes, they ridiculed Han without mercy…but yes, they’d also bitch slap you if YOU made fun of him.  Han was like their brother.  They teased them out of love.

Although yeah, at times, I suppose it did come across as just two super hot, stuck up bitches dumping all over an Asian immigrant who was just trying to make a living.

At any rate, when the girls would get out of line, they would be reigned in.  Han used his wits to give them their comeuppance many, many times, often with hilarious results.

To be honest, I have no idea why this show was cancelled.  Maybe it was ratings.  Maybe it was business.

All I know is I invested six years into this show, wondering if the girls would ever become un-broke.  The show would always end with a running tally of how much the girls had saved on their quest to not be broke anymore.  They need to come up with some sort of resolution, as I deserve to know whether or not they become un-broke.

Recently, I also lamented the cancellation of Last Man Standing, another show that, while much, much, much more reserved than 2 Broke Girls, did not fit the PC mold.

Political correctness and comedy.  Comedy and political correctness.  They go together like oil and water.

No one wants to hurt another’s feelings but at the same time, if we all continue to walk around on pins and needles, we may never laugh again.  

2 Broke Girls offered a different approach.  If the stuck up former rich girl makes fun of you, make fun of her back!  Sometimes the most satisfying part of the show came when Caroline thought she’d gotten away with a diss on Han only for Han to turn around and say something in a completely cool, collected manner that would totally wreck her day.

Yes, we should always be nice to each other and not assume the worst of people based on whatever group they are in.  But at the same time, laughter is important and if we keep taking the bite out of laughter, then comedy is going to quickly go out of style.

I’m convinced that by 2050, the world will have become so politically correct that SNL will be nothing but an improv troupe coming out on the stage every week to recite the “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke a hundred times, followed by a half-hour apology to chickens everywhere and people who are offended by chicken jokes.

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TV Review – 2 Broke Girls (2011 – Present)

They’re broke.  They’re girls.  They’re 2 broke girls.

BQB here with a…wait for it…review of two broke girls.

2011 was an up and down year for comedian Whitney Cummings.  The show she starred in, Whitney, premiered and it was ultra awful.  Even so, NBC kept it going long after they should have pulled the blog.

I don’t even know how to explain it.  The best I can do is that it was a show that was supposed to be funny and yet, everyone on the show was beautiful, they all made a lot of money doing jobs like “blogger” and they all complained about their problems.  Ultimately, characters with Manhattan problems just don’t play in Poughkeepsie.  Jerry Seinfeld was the last comic to make that schtick work.

Yet, that year, the show Whitney created, 2 Broke Girls, premiered and it’s been going on strong on CBS ever since.  As the show’s title suggests, Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) are two broke girls, struggling as poorly paid waitresses and living as roommates in a run down apartment.

They toil away at a diner, where they endlessly harass their diminutive boss Han (Matthew Moy) with one stereotypically Asian joke after another, mostly revolving around Han’s height, or lack thereof.

Max and Caroline are the female version of The Odd Couple.  Max has been poor and boorish her whole life, whereas Caroline was raised in wealth and luxury, only to fall to the bottom of the heap when her father is arrested and sent to prison for running a Bernie Madoff type scam.  Thus, Max teaches Caroline how to slum it, and Caroline makes an effort to give Max some class, though those efforts are rarely successful.

Overall, no one ever speaks normally but rather, the dialogue has jokes crowbarred in from every last angle.  Most of those jokes never land but rather, are of the so bad they’re good variety.

Surprisingly, the show revolves around a lot of stereotype humor.  In addition to endless jokes about Han’s Asian heritage, the girls are also friends with a duo of Polish immigrants, Oleg and Sofie (Jonathan Kite and Jennifer Coolidge aka Stiffler’s Mom from American Pie).  Oleg and Sofie are portrayed as as being exceptionally dumb (i.e. the worst of all Polish stereotypes) and yet in many ways they often ending up providing the girls with sage like advice, often on accident.

Garret Morris, an alum from SNL’s golden age,  rounds out the cast as Earl, the plucky diner cashier who shouts out a joke or a dig at random from time to time.

You know, I’m no prude when it comes to humor.  In fact, I’ve often opined on this fine site that people need to lighten up and chill out if we’re all going to ever get along in this great big melting pot that is America.  Even so, I avoid ethnic/stereotypical humor like the plague because I don’t want to offend people and/or have a picket line outside BQB HQ, so I’m surprised Whitney doesn’t have a similar picket line outside Whitney HQ.

I mean, it’s a funny show and I don’t see any intent on the part of the writers to emotionally wound anyone, but literally every episode there’s someone being made fun of their ethnicity, or there are gay dudes talking with a flamboyant lisp or something.  Whitney has somehow unbolted the magic formula to allow her to make these jokes and not get run out of Hollywood on a rail.  (FYI I’m not saying that I’m some sort of evil person that wants that formula).

Ultimately,  I enjoy the show, but I tend to take it or leave it.  Its the one show that I watch if I need something mindless to preoccupy my time, but I never watched it from the beginning and I often can go like ten episodes before checking back in and jump right back in without feeling like I need to go back and watch those ten episodes.  You can jump right in too, it’s not like you’re going to miss any great plot points.  Just Max making jokes about her boobs.

STATUS: Moderately shelf-worthy, though to the show’s credit, it may never “Jump the Shark” because the show has had a “We’re funny because we jump the shark every episode” kind of a feel.

 

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TV Review – The Big Bang Theory

Nerds.  So many nerds.

BQB here with a review of CBS’ The Big Bang Theory.  SPOILERS ABOUND.

Now in it’s tenth (my God, time moves so fast) season, this show follows the shenanigans of Cal Tech scientists Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj (Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar, respectively).

Oh, and all but Raj have significant others.  As of the tenth season, Leonard is married to hot next door neighbor babe/non-nerd struggling actress turned pharmaceutical rep Penny (Kaley Cuoco), Howard is married to short, sweet sounding yet gets angry often Bernadette (Melissa Rauch), and Sheldon is currently dating Amy (Mayim Bialik in her best role since Blossom.)  Alas, Raj remains single and strikes out with the ladies on a regular basis.

The one thing I notice when I talk to people about this show is that they either love it or hate it, but there’s little room for opinions that are in-between.  People who hate it feel this is a show that gives you a stereotypical view of a nerd, i.e. that all nerds are scientists and love comic books and so on.  My usual reply is, “Yeah.  Nerds are nerds and nerds do nerd things.”

In the show’s defense, it would be one thing if all the actors/actresses weren’t nerds in real life.  One thing I hate is the Hollywood version of a nerd, i.e. where they take a hunk or a babe and just whip a pair of glasses on him/her.  That’s essentially engaging in “nerd face” if you will.

I get the impression that all of the actors/actresses are nerds in real life, save Kaley Cuoco who is not a nerd and that is fine because she plays the hot neighbor girl that Leonard drools over.  Jim Parsons, in particular, strikes me as a super deluxe mega nerd, so much so that I’m not sure if his career as an actor would have ever taken off had he not landed the role of Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

By the way, don’t we all know a Sheldon Cooper of sorts?  Perhaps not to such a Sheldony degree, but surely we all know someone who we wish would show more empathy, someone who is super smart when it comes to book learning but incredibly dumb when it comes to human interaction.  FYI if you don’t know anyone like that then you might be that person.

Further criticism might come from the fact that Leonard lusts after Penny rather than, say, a nerd girl in his league.  My reply is that a) in earlier seasons Leonard, finding it impossible to gain any ground with Penny, does give nerd girls a try and they treat him just as shabbily.  In my personal experience, sometimes when it comes to the dating world, nerds can be worse to fellow nerds than non-nerds and b) at times, the show has flipped the script and made it out as though Penny is the one at a disadvantage, i.e. having never gone to college yet dating a scientist with a doctorate.

Ultimately, there’s a give and take, back and forth between Leonard and Penny that’s fun to watch.  We male nerds tend to chase after hot non-nerd babes like dogs chase after cars.  In this show, Leonard basically shows us the hilarity that ensues when a nerd actually catches a hot babe, i.e. he’s that dog who catches the car and now needs to figure out what to do.

Throw in creepy weirdo Howard and perpetually single Raj and you’ve got a sitcom.

Count me in as one of the people who like the show.  Admittedly, I did not watch it for years, but only because for years it was up against the NBC Thursday mega block that featured The Office, Parks and Recreation, Thirty Rock and Community.

Once that block ended, I started binge watching Big Bang and now I’m all caught up.  And yes, there are nerds who have tried to tell me that Community was the better nerd show.  To that, I just wonder why the nerd shows just can’t get along.  The more nerd shows, the merrier.

I’m impressed by the show’s ability to make jokes about incredibly complicated scientific concepts.  Sheldon and Leonard will be working on an experiment and say something complicated yet funny.  I won’t understand the complications but oddly, I’ll still understand why the joke is funny.  There are also little things, like the way Sheldon rips on Howard for being an engineer.  I never knew scientists dumped on engineers.

Ironically, it is possible to be a geek and not a nerd.  Nerds are super smart and love comics and fantasy.  Geeks also love comics and fantasy, yet aren’t necessarily super smart.  That’s why I’d say Community was more of a geek show than a nerd show, but again, geeks and nerds must learn to love one another, largely because we’re so nerdy and geeky that no one cool will have us.

To the show’s credit, there’s even a geek.  Stuart (Kevin Sussman) regularly appears as the gang’s not that bright but super geeky pal/comic book store owner.

Also, the girlfriends make the show.  The early seasons, where Leonard, Howard, and Raj are single sad-sacks are a tad depressing.  Sheldon is single in those days too but he’s sort of beyond human emotion and doesn’t seem to notice or care.  While Penny is Leonard’s love interest from the beginning, things get funnier when Bernadette and Amy are brought into the mix.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.  My one complaint is I feel like it has been ages since Penny put Sheldon to sleep with a rousing ballad of “Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur..”

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Chewbacca Mom Video

In case you haven’t seen it, random lady Candace Payne now dubbed “Chewbacca Mom” made a video of herself trying on her brand new Chewbacca mask and laughed so uncontrollably that it became an instant viral video sensation:

Come on. That mask is cool. It is a marvel of modern engineering that we have masks now that can make you sound like Chewbacca.

I watched this video and my naturally skeptic self wondered, “Hmm.  Is she really that happy? Did she really find this that funny?  Was all that laughing just to up the video’s silliness factor?”

No.  Not at all. Clearly she really is that happy and I now envy her as I’m one of those people who can’t find that much joy in the smallest of things.

And she even ended up on the Late Late Show with James Corden and met JJ Abrams:

So here’s to you, Chewbacca Mom.

Your nerdyness inspires us all, and that’s saying a lot, seeing as how this is a blog run by a nerd for 3.5 readers.

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#OscarsSoPretty – Snubbed Actor – Geoffrey Arend

Hey 3.5 readers.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with continuing coverage of my one man campaign to get the Academy to welcome more ugly people into the fold.

I’ve been tweeting my support for various ugly actors who I feel have been passed over for Oscar consideration just because of their looks.  I’m not sure they appreciate it.  They probably think I’m calling them ugly like its a bad thing.  There’s nothing wrong with being ugly.  Embrace how God made you, I say.

Anyway, I had a brief Twitter conversation with Geoffrey Arend.

WHO?!

Yeah, when I started thinking of less than handsome thespians to tweet my support for, “That nerdy guy who is married to Christina Hendricks” came to mind but I couldn’t recall his name, even though he’s starred in a lot of stuff and you’d totally recognize him if you saw him.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not knocking the guy in any way whatsoever.  He’s been my hero forever on account of the fact that, let me repeat, a) even though he’s a nerd b) he married Christina Hendricks.

Christina Hendricks played super 1960’s hottie Joan on Mad Men for those readers who aren’t hip to the TV scene.

So, let me be clear, no one should take what Geoffrey says below as support for the #OscarsSoPretty movement, which to date, only really consists of me.  I don’t want to put words in the guy’s mouth or anything.

He’s a cool dude who was a good sport and traded funny, snarky comments with me.  Since this is a blog for nerds, I wanted to ask his advice on how nerds can romance and marry super hot chicks, but I figured that would probably be pressing my luck.

But all you lonely nerds out there, cheer up, for it is possible.  Just look to Geoffrey Arend for hope and inspiration.

Much appreciated, Mr. Arend.  Readers, you might remember this actor from Devil or Garden State. Currently, you can see him as Matt Mahoney on CBS’ Madam Secretary.

Personally, my favorite role of his was as that stoned kid who ate all the shrooms in Super Troopers.

 

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True Nerd Heroes -James Corden – May 2015

Super Geeks.  Fabulous nerds.  Dynamite dweebs.  In search of the perfect poindexter, I’m scouring the globe to find dorks who have cast aside society’s inherent anti-nerd bias and made their way to the top.

Thus, my first “True Nerd Hero” is British comedian James Corden, who recently succeeded Craig Ferguson as host on CBS’ The Late Late Show.

The Late Late Show with James Corden – CBS – Arnold and other celebs put James on the path to talk show host glory.

He’s chubby.  He’s an infrequent shaver.  And no offense to this talented funny man but he kind of reminds you of that kid in high school who really shines in drama club but everyone feels the need to warn him to find another career because Hollywood doesn’t accept people who look like he does.

That’s less of a knock on normal, average looking people than it is on a movie industry that at some point decided that everyone in a film, from the main star to the extra waiter who’s on camera for five seconds to deliver the star a meal needs to look like a supermodel.

Alas,  the average person doesn’t have the time to work on their body 24/7 so to see a dude on TV who looks like he’d join us for a beer and some hot wings after the show is refreshing.

Corden is an inspiration to every nerd who, in his mind has said, “I want to sing!  I want to dance!  I want to act!” only to look in the mirror, sigh, and say, “But darn it, no one will want to see me do any of those things so I guess I’d better be an accountant.”

Hell, breaking into Hollywood isn’t easy for a Matt Damon look alike seeing as how there’s a limited number of paying acting gigs vs. an unlimited supply of perfect hair having, shiny teeth sporting, six pac ab having sons of bitches lined up to compete for them.

God bless you James, for clawing your way over all of them to become a true nerd hero.

Goddamn it man, you had a lead role in 2014’s Into the Woods, a movie where you sang opposite Emily Blunt and Anna Kendrick.  That’s true geek greatness.  You could have stopped right there and been a legendary geek but no, now you have your own TV show.

You hob nob with the uber rich and ultra successful and these people have accepted you as one of their own.  Moreover, you’ve fully embraced the concept of the late night talk show revolution, one where people care less about staying up late to watch some vapid celebrity drone on but rather engage them by performing some bit or game with them in an Internet clip we can watch whenever we want.

You’re a true nerd hero, James Corden.  You’ve convinced a new generation of nerds to follow their dreams.

Who should be BQB’s True Nerd Hero for June?  Nominate a nerd who has inspired you in the comments on bookshelfbattle.com or tweet it to @bookshelfbattle #truenerdheroes

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