Daily Archives: August 28, 2018

Toilet Shocker or Toilet Leviathon?

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

I’m worried I might be giving away trade secrets here but oh well, only 3.5 people read this blog anyway.

I have decided for the time being I will stick with “The Last Driver” and “Toilet Gator,” bouncing between the two of them.

I have an idea in mind for a Toilet Gator sequel.  In this one, there is a madman who sends electric eels up into toilets.  The eels attach themselves to unsuspecting butts and then the psycho can control the eels so he threatens to have the eels shock people in the butt until they are fried to a crisp unless he gets what they want.

Originally, I wanted to call this book, “Toilet Shocker.”

However, the madman is inspired by Thomas Hobbes’ Leviathon, which tells us that men are, by nature, barbarians and without government to tame them, life is “nasty, brutish and short.”  It would take me a while to explain but basically he wants the world to descend into government-less anarchy, making people doubt government as the govt cant save them from butt shocks.

So now I’m thinking of calling it “Toilet Leviathon.”

ARGUMENT TO CALL IT TOILET SHOCKER:  It’s about people who get shocked on the toilet.  If it is about people getting toilet shocked, then people show know that up front.  The cover could be an electric eel with spots flying about him popping out of a toilet.

ARGUMENT FOR CALLING IT TOILET LEVIATHON – A leviathon is an ancient, biblical sea monster, an allegory that all the world’s evil takes the form of a monster that swallows us all.  I believe that’s what Hobbes was getting at when he called his book Leviathon, that if man didn’t give up his naturally barbaric ways and seek a higher existence through government, then man’s collective evil, like a sea monster, would swallow the world.

It’s a cool name and the cover could feature a sea monster popping out of a toilet, but it would be false advertising as a sea monster never pops out of a toilet.  I suppose a metaphysical one does as the madman convinces people to resort to their barbarian ways.

OTHER THOUGHTS – I’m not 100 percent sold on this one because umm…in my head, it doesn’t seem funny.  I mean, maybe I’ll find the humor when I start writing but…you know…if I can’t think of a way to make toilet shocks funny then I might hold back and just move to my other funny sequel ideas.

Toilet Shocker or Toilet Leviathon?

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Movie Review – Alpha (2018)

Hey 3.5 readers.  A quick review here for a quick movie.

You don’t see many movies based in pre-historic times.  I don’t know why.

Anyway, separated from his family and tribe after a bull attack makes everyone assume he’s dead, young Keda (Kodi Smit-McPhee) most navigate treacherous terrain in order to see his loved ones again.

Along the way, he meets and tames a wolf he calls Alpha, turning the animal from fierce attacker to loyal pet.

One thing that struck me from a writer’s perspective is the show don’t tell aspect.  For much of the movie, it’s just a boy and his dog.  When characters do talk, they speak caveman (how does anyone today speak caveman?) so you have to read what they say in English.

So the filmmakers trust the audience to figure things out.  Throughout his journey, Keda does a lot of gross things that we take for granted that we don’t have to do anymore, thanks to modern luxuries.

For example, there’s no KFC or pizza delivery, so when he’s hungry, Keda eats worms and bugs…happily…without complaining…like, “Oh boy, thank goodness that worm crawled by, I was starving.”

When he’s injured, he packs a wound with maggots, presumably to eat the infection…because there are no hospitals, although on occasion I’ve met a couple of doctors who are so incompetent that stay at home maggot care is preferable, am I right?

Oh, and there’s a scene involving poop you don’t want to know about.

It’s short and a little sappy but a good film and a short one that won’t take much of your time.  Worth a rental.

Main problem – all the cave people wear animal skin coats that are cut so well they look like they came off the rack at a cave LL Bean.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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