Category Archives: Uncategorized

#OscarsSoPretty – The Oscars Are Still Too Pretty

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

The 3.5 of you who continue to read this fine blog are aware that among many things, I am one of, if not the, world’s foremost ugly rights advocate.  If an ugly person is being discriminated against due to their wretched, horrifying ugliness, then I will be there to champion their cause…at some point, but probably never, because I am very busy and also I just baked a pie.

But I do speak out from time to time about the injustices perpetrated against the uggo community (I can say that, it’s our word) on this fine blog and nowhere is anti-uggo discrimination more prevalent than at the Oscars.

Seriously.  Do ugly people ever win these things?  How can Hollywood, year after year, only give awards to good looking people, all the while ugly kids are crying themselves to sleep every night because they never see anyone on TV that looks like them unless they turn on the National Geographic channel.

Thank you for listening, 3.5 readers.  All I can do is spread the word about the cause of the ugly, and if all I can do is write this post so that it will be visible to your 7 eyes then so be it.

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Brief, No Spoiler Review – Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

Hey 3.5 readers.

B to the Q to the B here.

I’ll give you all a chance to see it but I’ll say at front, I liked this movie a lot, which surprised me because I went in fully with the mindset that I was going to hate the ever loving butt crap out of it.

I just thought the Last Jedi sucked big donkey butt, and by extension, the Force Awakens too.  My impression of Force Awakens was it was ok but all it did was ask questions, and at the time I thought, well, if the next movie answers these questions then it will pay off but instead, all Last Jedi did was fart in our faces on every answer.

Good as this movie was, it reeks of the writing work of that kid you knew in college…we all knew one, right?  You know, the one who would dick around all semester, screw around and get F’s on every assignment and then at the last minute, grab a six pack of energy drinks and pull on all nighter so as to get an A on the final paper, thus bringing his overall course grade to a gentlemen’s C?

That’s the irony here.  As a series, I’d give the latest trilogy an overall C, but I’d give the last movie an A.

This movie seems like the writers were having a come to Jesus (come to Yoda?) moment and decided to stop jerking us all around.  Stop asking questions only to fart in our faces when we seek answers.  We will eventually stop seeking answers if all we get are farts, just as Charlie Brown will, we hope, one day stop trying to kick Lucy’s football when he realizes that she’s going to pull it away.

That’s how this film felt.  It felt like Lucy finally let us, as Charlie, kick the football.

Overall, a fun ride and when you go in waiting to take a dump on it only to be pleasantly surprised, it’s a relief.

The sad part is they had it in them to do great all along, so one wonders why they didn’t do it with the first two but, oh well.  This movie keeps the franchise alive.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Dealing with Christmas Returns

Hey 3.5 readers.

Has this ever happened to you?

The good thing about online shopping is you don’t have to leave your house.

The bad thing is that things get messed up, especially around Christmas time.  This has happened to me the past few years and again this year.  I will have to once again go into Christmas telling people in my life that uh, sorry, they sent me the wrong thing and I guess I’ll get you your gift in January.

What crap.  And I usually have to go round after round after round with customer service until someone finally pays attention and sends the right order.

I know.  I sound like Grandpa Simpson.  Matlock!  I want Matlock.

Do I Want An Air Fryer?

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.  It’s cyber Monday, er week, now as the sales go all week long.

I’m thinking about getting one of those new fangled air friers but something I’ve always wondered – you’ve got toaster ovens, crock pots, George Foreman grills, and now air friers….my question is, why are any of these devices better than the oven that came with my house?

Like it just feels like I’d buy a 200 dollar appliance, use it a couple of times and then either burn myself, or burn down my house, or just shove it in a closet when I realize I’m not going to use it again.

I watched a video of a guy having a fun time frying a steak in an air fryer but really, is it any different than putting the steak on a pan and frying it on my stove?

Discuss 3.5 readers.  Men, feel free to chime in.  Women, I don’t want to be sexist but I feel you might have more to say here, though I feel that because I’m probably a misogynist pig who needs to go to a re-education center to work those feelings out of my system.  Also, you all need Pelotons.  Sigh.  Where is this coming from?  I don’t know.  Anyway, forget all that and discuss cooking devices vs just using your stove/oven.

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Happy Thanksgiving, 3.5 Readers

Happy Thanksgiving, 3.5 readers.

I hope you have a good one.  Sorry I haven’t been writing much on this fine blog lately.  I have been too busy on other exploits.  I hope there are still 3.5 of you and you are all doing well.

Movie Review – A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019)

Won’t you 3.5 readers be my neighbor?

BQB here with a review of A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.

I have to admit, 3.5 readers, that while Fred Rogers is deserving of a movie, I wasn’t sure if there was a lot of material there that would keep an audience’s attention for 2 hours.  Did Mr. Rogers have any love triangles?  Did he punch out any bad guys?  Did he go on any wild car chases?  Did he defuse any bombs at the last second?

No.  He was just genuinely nice, and this film pays tribute to his way of life and how it helped others through a focus on one journalist who he helped in particular.

Matthew Rhys plays Lloyd Vogel, a jaded, cynical Esquire magazine writer who can barely get any celebrities to talk to him on account of his reputation for savaging his interviewees with biting criticism.

Assigned to profile uber nice guy and children’s television pioneer Mr. Rogers (Tom Hanks), Lloyd thinks this is a crap job.  He initially sets out to crack Mr. Rogers on the belief that his personality is just a facade, a nice guy act designed to make money.  Even his wife, Andrea (Susan Watson) begs her man to not “ruin her childhood” by running everyone’s favorite neighbor through the ringer.

Naturally, as the story progresses, it’s Mr. Rogers who cracks Lloyd, suffering Lloyd’s rudeness with a smile and eventually getting him to open up about his own demons.  As it turns out, Lloyd carries a lot of anger over the fact that his father (Chris Cooper) cheated on his dying mother and abandoned the family in their time of need, leaving him and his sister (Tammy Blanchard) to grow up way too fast.  Alas, Lloyd carries his anger on his back wherever he goes, always assuming the worst about everyone.

Though Lloyd is the focus of the story, the film pays tribute to Mr. Rogers in that we ultimately learn his main goal in life was to help people keep their cool.  As we get to know Mr. R, we begin to understand that it’s not so much that he’s a wimp, it’s that he possesses a deep understanding that there’s a monster in all of us, and if we don’t channel it into positive ways, it will consume and destroy us.

For example, Mr. Rogers swims laps.  He mashes his hands on the worst notes his piano has to offer.  He writes letters to his fans and prays for them – individually and by name.  If he meets you, he will not only remember you but your family’s names and will ask how they are doing with their specific problems when he sees you again.  In short, he’s fully aware that life comes with all manner of pitfalls designed to drive us insane, but it’s his goal to help us figure out how to replace bad emotion with positive activity.  Swimming laps, after all, is better than cooking meth or cheating on your wife or what have you.

There’s definitely pain lurking under Rogers’ surface.  Hanks is able to show that with a look or mannerism.  Like the rest of us, he’s not perfect.  Unlike the rest of us, he’s not going to lose his mind over the flaws that are inherent in the human condition.

Some criticism – at times, the film feels like a stretch.  Perhaps the best tribute to Mr. R is to give us an example of how he turned a man’s life around with kindness.  However, there are times where I would have liked to have seen more Fred and less Lloyd.  This scenario reminds me of the criticism lobbed at “The Green Book” for being more about musician Don Shirley’s driver Frank and how perhaps Don should have had the brunt of the focus.

But then again, Mr. Rogers probably wouldn’t care too much about the spotlight, as long as his positive message gets out.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

 

 

 

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Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

I’ll be back, 3.5 readers…with a review of the latest time traveling kill bot movie.

After the last Terminator movie of a few years ago, I really thought this franchise had been terminated.  They made two great films a long time ago, and everything else has been garbage ever since.

Generally, they are all the same story.  The robots travel through time, wanting to kill John Connor.  Someone has to save John, usually Arnie in the form of a good terminator, usually with a human helper and so on.

That gold has been mined and nothing but dirt remains.

I’ll admit I was surprised as this latest installment, IMO, didn’t totally suck.  It doesn’t deserve a spot next to the first two, but among the list of garbage sequels, it is the least trashy.  It has great effects, at least an attempt at a plot and action that kept me riveted, even if it is all just the same story told over again.

Linda Hamilton and Arnie are given a break from the nursing home, this time to play Sarah Connor and yet another terminator turned good.  While Hamilton makes the flick, the storyline that gets Arnie back into the picture causes the movie to jump the shark (he’s a terminator who learned the error of his ways and retired from terminating to start a family and um…how the hell does that even work?)

Together, they help an augmented human from the future (that girl from Halt and Catch Fire and I’m too lazy to look up her name) save Dani (again I’m too lazy to look up her name) who will become the leader of the next robot resistance if she can be saved from a new brand of terminator who is able to seperate his robot self from his human-looking self (also not going to look up his name.)

Yes, it’s the same old story jammed into a different wrapper but the best I can say it is if we rank all Terminator films, it is number three on a scale of best to worst, though a distant third from the two originals.  Really, this franchise should have stopped at two.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Happy Halloween, 3.5 Readers

Treat yourself to one of my FREE books.  Yes, they will be free now throughout the weekend:

 

 

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Watching the Old Addams Family Show and Movies

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

After seeing the recent cartoon, I became nostalgic and was pleased to find that a lot of the 1960s original Addams Family TV show episodes are available on YouTube…legit too as in put up by MGM.

Whenever I have 20 mins free, I watch one and am impressed with the wit, the comedic timing, and the overall understanding of how comedy is basically committing to an absurd premise and sticking with it.

I also watched both 1990s movies – The Addams Family and Addams Family Values.  To my surprise, they hold up, though there are plenty of jokes that are funnier to people who were around in the 1990s.  Raul Julia was so full of life as Gomez that it makes me sad (and surprised) that he passed away not long after these movies were made.