Category Archives: Uncategorized

Seven Years of This Fine Blog

And I think WordPress has changed its user interface 7 times in the past hour. Zing!

Well, thank you all for being my 3.5 readers. I thought there’d be at least 10.7 of you by now, but as they say, you have to work for every reader.

Hello 3.5 Readers

Just a quick hello. Are there still 3.5 of you?

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and GET A FREE WEREWOLF BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Some thoughts:

#1 – Merry Belated Christmas. Sorry I did not stop to wish all 3.5 of you a Merry Christmas when it was Christmas. I have been busy. My bad. I hope it was a good one.

#2 – Happy New Year. I wished you a Happy New Year on time.

#3 – GET A FREE WEREWOLF BOOK!

Yes, one of BQB’s Twisted Shorts, “Quarantine” is totes free. That means you don’t have to spend any money. You probably just spent a lot, what with running up your credit cards to buy all those expensive gifts and gadgets that your loved ones didn’t need and honestly, aren’t going to make them appreciate you anymore anyway.

So, get yourself a FREE book. Remember, it’s free. Just go to the link below, get your free copy and if the mood strikes, feel free to leave me a review.

FREE! HA HA HA! TOTALLY FREE! MY PRICES ARE INSANE I’M GIVING THESE BOOKS AWAY!!!
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Still Free!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

My book, “The End is Nigh” a short story about conspiracy theories and alien conquest is free today, so if you’ve been too busy chowing down on Thanksgiving leftovers, take a break and get your free copy today.

I Have Written 3,805 Posts On this Fine Blog

And I did it in 6 years, 3.5 readers.

Can you believe it? It took me 3,805 posts in 6 years to gain the attention of 3.5 readers. If I give it another 6 years and another 3,805 posts, I might get another 3.5 readers for a total of 7 readers. That’s a lot of readers.

Buy My Book!

Hey nerds.

BQB here.

Conspiracy. Alien plots. Lizard people. You gotta check out this book, 3.5 readers.

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Get a Free Book – FOR FREE!!!

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

I wrote a short story about a drunk who has spent the past 20 years lamenting the loss of his fiancee. When a stranger transports him to an alternate reality where he and his ex stuck together, he finds that they raised a son who became the worst dictator in history.

Sometimes the worst thing that happens to us is the best thing…for the world.

Anyway, did I mention THIS BOOK IS FREE?

Movie Review – Vampires vs. The Bronx (2020)

Gentrification really sucks, 3.5 readers.

BQB here with a review of this Netflix horror/comedy.

This movie was a fun, silly surprise, reminding me of all those 1980s horror films of yesteryear where plucky kids would band together to fight monsters because their out of touch, unable to believe in the unbelievable parents won’t lift a finger. Though it takes place in modern times, it feels inspired by The Goonies, the Monster Squad or what have you.

Here, the vamps come in the form of a real estate company, buying up every house and store in the Bronx and replacing them with trendy, foofoo chic crap – i.e. condos, artisan butter stores and so on. To comic effect, one bodega owner tries to get in on the action, attempting to peddle kale and oat milk to the influx of wealthy yuppies.

Enter heroes Miguel, Luis and Bobby who discover that this real estate scheme is just a front for the vamps to hide their coffins under the neighborhood’s collective nose, so the bloodsuckers can feast on the locals. They might do something to stop it if Miguel’s mother will ever stop yelling at him out the window about how he needs to change his underwear while he’s trying to chat up some girls.

Humor and shenanigans ensue as the kids go on a quest to bring the vamps down, while inept adults occasionally help or hinder their progress.

And yes, I suppose the overall point of the movie is to compare white purchasing and “gentrification” of minority neighborhoods to vampirism but I’ll let you 3.5 readers get into the politics of it all.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy

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Movie Review – Enola Holmes (2020)

Add a dash of girl power, a pinch of adventure and sprinkle a heaping helping of fourth wall breaking and you have a new Netflix film based on the popular young adult novels about Sherlock Holmes’ younger sister.

When her mother (Helena Bonham Carter) goes missing, Enola (Millie Bobbie Brown) turns to brothers Sherlock and Mycroft for help. Sherlock (Henry Cavil as a Sherlock who looks like he’d prefer to bench press clues rather than search for them) is sympathetic to his younger sister’s tom boyish nature, while Mycroft (Sam Claflin) is the patriarchy personified in that he just wants to ship Enola off to a finishing school for girls where Enola will learn how to be a wife and a mother and never ever ever do anything fun ever again.

Yeah, not gonna lie. This film is all about hearing women roar in numbers too loud too ignore.

Finding her older bros useless, Enola sets out to London on her own in search of her mother, only to find a young lord on the run as well. A murderous villain is hot on the lord’s trail and together…yadda yadda yadda, just watch it.

The movie does run a bit long and there are the occasional acts of violence that seem out of place for a young adult movie. It does meander between plots and at times it seems the writers weren’t sure if Enola should be searching for her mother or helping the young lord escape but all in all, it’s fun, though it does run a bit long.

Ultimately, this movie might be Millie Bobbie Brown’s ticket to bigger, better things. She has wowed us as Eleven in Netflix’s runaway hit, Stranger Things and appeared in the latest Godzilla movie, but this movie gives her a chance to display a wide array of emotions. I dare say it looks like she might be one of those lucky child actors who gets to go on to stardom as an adult, if this movie is any indication.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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GET A FREE BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

My book is FREE! So go on over to Amazon and get it today!

Maybe he’s a captive. Maybe he’s a werewolf. All the hero of this story knows is that he wishes this was someone else’s problem.

It’s the 1950s and down on his luck door to door salesman Chauncy Gladwell has been thrown out of his house by a wife tired of his gullible nature. The old boy has a long track record of falling for every scam in the book, to the point where his savings have been ravaged by every two bit con artist in town.

On the day when Chauncy vows to put himself over anyone with a problem, he stumbles across…a young man with a problem. While on a routine sales call to hawk a Suck-O-Matic vacuum cleaner, Chauncy meets Sam, an 18-year old lad who has been locked up in the lady of the house’s basement.

His grandmother, Ludmilla, a crusty old battle axe if there ever was one, says Sam is danger of turning into a werewolf, and thus must be kept in quarantine until the full moon passes.

Sam tells a different story, namely, that his granny is bonkers, and that she’s just trying to stop him from joining the Army and eloping with his high school sweetheart.

What a conundrum. If Chauncy releases Sam, he runs the risk of unleashing a monster upon the world. But if he does nothing and leaves, won’t it eat him up inside, to know that he saw someone being held hostage and did nothing?

Will our unlikely hero save the day? Is there a day to even be saved? Who can be trusted? And what about his pledge to his wife, that he will never again be taken in by someone with a sob story?

Gather around under the full moon and crack open the fourth installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts. Do you like “The Twilight Zone?” Do you like “The Outer Limits?” Do you like “Black Mirror?” Well, BQB doesn’t have the budget to make shows as awesome as those, but his self-published journey toward creating an episodic anthology has begun.

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