A long, luxurious stretch Rolls Royce limo pulled up across the street from the disco. The vehicle was all kinds of tacky, from the purple paint job to the golden grill. The window in the backseat rolled down.
The occupant was listening to the radio. The sound traveled through the night air.
“Awoo, baby!” the disc jockey said. “You’re listening to WNITE, New York’s number one station to listen to the disco tunes that make your body swoon, so get off your seat and dance to the beat. As always, I’m Toe Tappin’ Teddy and I’m making my way through the top charts tonight. By the way, we just got word at the studio that the one, the only, the incomparable Disco Werewolf has just made his way into Sweet Johnny Sugarshine’s Electrostatic Groove Lounge so if you’re one of the handful of lucky ones admitted inside, be sure to feast your peepers on that fuzzy dance machine, because I’m told when it comes to cutting a rug, there’s no one better than DW. Awoo!”
The limo door open. Out poured three foxy mamas. The trio had been named after three of the occupant’s favorite jewels. Ruby, Emerald, and Diamond – a black girl, an Asian girl, and a blonde girl, respectively. All wore scantily clad outfits featuring skirts hiked high, leaving little to the imagination.
Whoever the occupant of the back seat was, he wasn’t very tall. His purple hat, which featured a yellow feather sticking out of the zebra striped band, barely cleared the edge of the window. A diamond tipped cane popped into view.
The occupant’s voice was high-pitched and squeaky. “Bitches, do you understand the mission parameters?”
“Sure enough, Daddy,” Ruby said.
“Good,” the occupant said. “Go on, then. Do Daddy proud.”
The ladies turned heads as they sashayed up to Ecstasy. Ruby pulled a plastic bag filled with white powder out of her purse and handed it to the doorwoman. “Big Daddy sends his regards.”
Ecstasy looked to her left, then right. Seeing no cops in the vicinity, she grabbed the bag and stuffed it into her bra. “Tell Big Daddy I’m much obliged.”
The doorwoman lifted the velvet rope and allowed the trio to enter, incurring the wrath of everyone waiting in line.
“Pipe down, you dirty animals!” Ecstasy shouted. “Trust me. If you’re ever good enough to go inside, I will let you know. But rest assured, I never will because none of you will ever be worthy.”
Ecstasy looked at Bruno. “We are going to get loose as a mother goose tonight.”
“Errm,” Bruno said.
“I might even let you do that thing.”
“Errm.”
“Right,” Ecstasy said. “Not in front of the riff raff.”
Back across the street, Big Daddy chilled and listening to his radio.
“Coming up next, it’s the hit single Love Me Freaky by everyone’s favorite disco kings from across the pond, the Vagabonds,” Teddy said. “These British boys tore up the charts for years only to completely drop off the scene six months ago. Where are they? Your guess is good as mine, baby. Perhaps they’re cloistered off somewhere, working extra hard on their next album, turning it into a surefire masterpiece. Then again, if I were a betting man, I’d say one of the boys is holed up with a bimbo somewhere and can’t be bothered to entertain us anymore. Oh well, if you see one of these lads, tell them Toe Tappin’ Teddy sure does miss them. Until then, here’s Love Me Freaky by the Vagabonds.”
The end of a cigar peaked out of the limo’s window. The end glowed red as it was puffed upon. Smoke exhaled out into the air as the music played:
Love me…at your own pace!
Love me…and repopulate the human race.
Love me girl, your love’s so sneaky.
Come on baby, and love me freaky!
Bookshelf Battle 