Hey 3.5 readers.
Did you think I’d let March go by without saying hello? Well, you were almost right! Here I am on this last day of the month to celebrate my 11 year anniversary as the proprietor of a blog with 3.5 readers.
Movies I have seen and recommend:
Novacaine
A Working Man
That Diving Movie with Woody Harrelson whose name escapes me right now
I’ll be back in April to review these movies and more.
Until next time, thank you for being one of my 3.5 readers.
May you be fruitful and multiply so that one day I might have 7 readers
Have a nice day, 3.5 readers
Happy new year 3.5 readers
Happy Halloween, 3.5 readers.
You thought I’d let a whole month go by without posting? Never! (Though I almost did.)
What costumes did you don this year?
Spy stuff! Action! Suspense! The inspiration for James Bond!
BQB here with a review of The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare.
It’s very rare in today’s exceedingly woke times to see an action movie where men are macho and are allowed to blow shit up, wreak havoc, shoot guns and damn it, my ding dong just got hard thinking about it. Excuse me for a moment. Talk amongst yourselves.
Alright, I’m back. Based on former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill’s declassified in 2016 documents, this story tells the tale of the UK’s first special forces mission, which essentially began MI6 or Great Britain’s first foray into spycraft and/or clandestine missions. Coincidentally, it was also the inspiration for the James Bond films, but we’ll get to that in a moment.
It’s WW2 and the Nazis command the Atlantic Ocean. They’re choking off trade to England, sinking supply ships with their U-Boats. Said boats are supplied by only 4 ships based in Fernando Po, an island colony in Africa owned by then neutral Spain. To bomb the port outright would be to bring Spain into the war on the side of the Nazis, an outcome to be avoided. Thus, Winston Churchill (a heavily made up Rory Kinnear) with assistance of Brigadier Gubbins (Cary Elwes) recruits a “dirty dozen” (not exactly a dozen) but a collection of “war criminals” – i.e. not atrocity perpetrators in the war crime sense but soldiers who have been thrown in prison because for whatever reason, they didn’t follow orders.
This is a dirty job, one requiring men who will be disavowed if caught, so Churchill needs men with less than stellar reputations, willing to get their hands dirty and the dirtiest among them is Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill) who leads the squad. Cavill looks like he had fun with this one, laughing maniacally as he shoots and blows up Nazis.
March would go on to be the inspiration for James Bond, the character in a series of novels penned by Ian Fleming, who has a minor role as a character in the film played by Freddie Fox. Apparently, his time as Grubbins’ assistant in the operation inspired Fleming to put pen to paper.
Directed by Guy Ritchie who has a great track record.
Overall, it’s quite a fun film and a much needed relief from super woke fare. Go see it today.
Can you believe it, 3.5 readers? I have been blogging for an entire decade now. I started ten years ago in March of 2014. Were any of you reading this here at the time? If so, thank you. I really thought there’d be double of you by now, at least 7 readers, but 3.5 is still pretty good.
Oompa loompa doopitty doo – BQB here with a review for you.
I avoided this movie for awhile. Why? I admit I suffer from woke movie PTSD. Also, lame movie PTSD. I have seen so many of my favorite franchises get the woke streaming treatment, where Hollywood takes the bare bones of the film, cuts out anything good, adds a few random lesbians fighting the patriarchy and a nonsensical filler plot that goes nowhere that I just assumed they would do that here.
But I was wrong and when you watch a movie expecting it to stink only for it to turn out good, it’s a nice surprise.
This is a prequel to the 1970s film and/or the 2005 re-do based on the book by Roald Dahl. Here, a young Wonka played by Timothee Chalamet is orphaned by the death of his choclatier mother, but inspired to carry on her passion by sailing to Europe and starting his very own chocolate shop at the Galeries Gourmet, a land where only the most savvy candy lovers congregate.
Naive, dim witted and poor, Wonka is tricked into signing his life away to the evil Mrs. Scrubitt, forever doomed to join a cast of downtrodden folk sentenced to a lifetime of washing laundry. He befriends another orphan, Noodle and together they inspire Mrs. Scrubitt’s captives to make a break for it in the name of finding a better life as employees of Wonka’s future chocolate shop.
Ah, but there’s the rub. To establish a chocolate shop, Wonka must take on the infamous chocolate cartel, comprised of three comically evil chocolate robber barons who employ the chief of police (Keegan Michael Key) to take out any and all competition to their chocolate monopoly.
I always saw Chalamet as an overrated, weaselly little doofus who somehow wandered into Hollywood by accident and everyone just shrugged and allowed him to stay, but he really wowed me here. This was the role he was born to play and he does the role justice with all of Wonka’s eccentric imagination and whimsy.
Meanwhile, Hugh Grant steals the show as an oompa loompa hot on Wonka’s tail, looking for revenge as Wonka inadvertently ruined his life when he unwittingly stole the cocoa beans under his watch.
So yes, it is possible to sometimes teach an old dog new tricks. And yes, it is possible for Hollywood to dust off an old property without making it all about lesbians fighting the patriarchy. Who knew? I sure didn’t but this flick proved me wrong.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy.
Can you smell what this review is cookin’ 3.5 readers?
BQB here with a review of The Iron Claw.
Professional wrestling. We tend to look at it as a joke. Giant, musclebound men in spandex shorts shouting hilarious barbs at each other. They all have their own elaborate costumes, backstories, moves, etc. They pretend like its real but we all know its fake, right? I mean surely, a “sport” where dudes get on TV wearing feather boas and silly hats and threaten to tear each other apart and hit each other with chairs has to be fake.
Ah, but this film invites the viewer behind the scenes of professional wrestling to understand two core concepts:
#1 – Even though the storylines are fake, the pain is real. It’s impossible for dudes to throw each other around like this and not suffer terrible injuries, both mental and physical.
#2 – The best showmen, i.e. those most loved by the crowd, benefit with better fake storylines that move them up in the ranks, get them more fights, more time in the ring and ultimately more money and fame. Ergo, despite the fakeness of it all, there’s still motivation to train and push themselves harder, which comes at a cost.
Enter the world of the allegedly cursed Von Ehrich family, a multi-generational wrestling clan who, unless there’s a historian who knows better, probably suffered more than anyone else in the name of a fake sport.
Father Fritz (Holt McCallany) takes his family on tour in a trailer, living a poor life as he chases fame and the hope of bringing home the big title belt, but alas, in his eyes, is always screwed out of it by the National Wrestling Association, the company that he dedicates his life, blood, sweat and tears too.
He pledges his family won’t always live like this and fast forward years later, they don’t. They live on a big Texas ranch where mother Doris (Maura Tierney) makes breakfast every day. Adult sons Kevin and David (Zac Efron and Harris Dickinson) have carried on the family tradition, making big names for themselves in pro-wrestling.
For awhile, it seems like a good life, a family that has made a good living dedicating themselves to a sport and it has paid off, but alas, there is a price to be paid and boy do they ever pay it. Fritz is simply obsessed with bringing home that belt, the same belt he felt he was cheated out of, so living vicariously through his sons, he pushes all of them to get into wrestling, even those who probably shouldn’t.
When President Carter pulls America out of the Olympics in the late 1970s, the third brother Kerry (Jeremy Allen White of the Bear fame), an Olympic shotputter, loses his chance to compete for gold. Fritz pushes him into the ring and though Kerry is athletic, the pain is something he just isn’t used to. He turns to steroids and alcohol to keep up and suffers a downward spiral.
Meanwhile, youngest brother Mike (Stanley Simons) is a skinny weakling, a nerdy music protege who would be a source of pride for his ability to carry a tune in any other family but is considered the black sheep in this one for his lack of natural talent when it comes to pummeling giant, sweaty men. He gives up his love of music for the ring to please the old man and as often happens in such films (and in life) there’s what Dad thinks is best and what son thinks is best and when son goes through the motions of pleasing Dad it usually doesn’t end well.
I won’t go into further detail and spoil the movie other than to say the first hour is a high of the family achieving a lot of success and you really root for them, thinking anything is possible in this great country, that isn’t it wonderful they all came together to find such success where dudes act like dum dums in the ring for a crowd’s amusement.
The second hour is a emotional rollercoaster that keeps going down, down, down, leaving you in a great depression as you wonder just how much pain can one family endure as the tragedies never cease. In fact, the family experienced so much heartache that the film wasn’t able to fit it all in and there were further stories of suffering left on the cutting room floor. So much was there suffering that the writers apparently made an excecutive decision to leave some of it out lest the audience not want to commit hari kari. I admit by the end I was feeling pretty low and wondering why I even bothered going to see this movie in the first place, though it well written, well acted, serves as the first Oscar bait of the season and is a cautionary tale against, I don’t know what exactly. Ignoring your health in the name of success? Pushing your children too hard to catch the dreams that passed you by?
As for the acting, it’s superb. Zac Efron is barely recognizable having put on a ton of muscle. Holt McCallany has earn a rep playing hard nosed pricks with perfect diction and does it again. This might be his chance at winning an oscar for doing so, as it also might be Efron’s. Dickinson and Simons I never heard of before but both play their parts well. I haven’t seen Maura Tierney in a movie in a long time but she plays the long suffering mother who puts up with too much with grace and dignity and never complains despite having every reason to well. Lilly James rounds out the cast as Pam, the wife who saves Kevin (Efron’s) life with love and support.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy.
They hate each other AND love each other?
What wacky nonsense is this?
BQB here with a review of this fun rom-com.
Romantic comedies. You either love them or you hate them. By and large, I usually hate them. They’re cheap. They’re dumb. They’re cliche. They’re the same old movie over and over again. But I have to admit, this one grew on me. It was cute. It was charming. What can I say? I liked it.
Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell star as a duo who two years ago, had one fabulous date where they fell madly in love. Alas, through a comedically tragic misunderstanding, they accidentally offended one another and vowed to despise each other for the rest of their days. Normally, such a situation wouldn’t be a problem except, as it turns out, it’s a small world after all, and they each share a mutual connection (she a sister and he a friend) to a couple about to get married in an Australian destination wedding.
So, off they go to Aussieland. They vow to be adults about it and not let their mutual disdain ruin the wedding. The barbs they trade are hilarious indeed. Hijinx ensue. For various reasons, let’s just say to get the wedding party off their backs, they pretend to actually be in love and well, from there I’ll let you watch the rest of the film on your own.
There’s no other way to say it. Sydney Sweeney is adorable. She’s beautiful, but also oozes with cuteness. She’s the hot girl who wouldn’t totally eviscerate you when she turns you down. She’d ask if you’re alright and give you cab fare, maybe even suggest a few self-help books for you to read while you lick your wounds.
Glen Powell’s abs are the true star of the show and holy shit, does that MFer make me wish that in my youth, I’d done more sit ups and less pizza chomps. You know how every dude says they wish they were as hot as Chris Hemsworth? I think in a few more movies, Powell’s going to give Hemsworth a run for his money as the male physical specimen standard.
Based on Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing with several references to the play thrown in, the film doubles as an homage to the bard’s play, some might say the very first romantic comedy that started it all and gave us all the romcom tropes that we know and love or hate today.
Speaking of tropes, Dermot Mulroney stars as the bride’s dad because it wouldn’t be a rom-com about a wedding if Dermot Mulroney wasn’t the father of the bride. Meanwhile, if you’re old enough, you might recognize the other dad as Aussie actor Bryan Brown, star of the 1980s movie F/X about a Hollywood special effects artist charged by the FBI to fake a witness’ death only to be doublecrossed, blamed for it and have to go on the run.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy.
Bookshelf Battle 