Hey 3.5 Readers.
BQB here. As you all know, I’m a perfectionist. I need everything to be one-hundred percent genuine.
If you read Chapter 64 and Chapter 65 of my Zombie Western novel, you know that Becker, a damn werewolf, charged at Miss Bonnie.
In turn, Miss Bonnie shot Becker in the head with a silver tipped bullet.
Slade opened the front door to the church, pulled Miss Bonnie out of the way in the nick of time, but alas, Blake was not so lucky.
In the last few moments of his life, Becker kept running, only to fall and crush Blake under his massive werewolf weight.
But that’s ok because Blake was a douche.
There was a lot of science involved in this scene. Newton’s laws of gravity and such. I needed to sketch it out to see if it all worked on paper and low and behold, it all added up.
Check it out:
ILLUSTRATION #1
Nope I didn’t have a kid draw this. This was all me. OK, so here we see a stupid werewolf who is running. Miss Bonnie has a gun (I felt the need to make a note of that because some have suggested, if you can believe it, that my artistic skills are lacking).
Everybody’s a critic.
Meanwhile, as you can see to the right, Blake and Gunther are arguing with each other, not paying attention to their surroundings.
ILLUSTRATION #2
Here, we catch our first real life glimpse of the macho stud muffin that is Marshal Slade. As you can see above, he grabs Miss Bonnie and pushes her out of the stupid werewolf’s path just in time.
ILLUSTRATION #3
And finally, we see the untimely demise of the group’s agitator, Martin Blake. He was too busy getting the last word in during his argument with Gunther to pay attention to the oncoming werewolf and alas, ended up being crushed underneath the hairy remains.
You can see Blake’s head sticking out. The rest of Blake’s body is crushed underneath the stupid werewolf.
Doc, a believer in the curative properties of cocaine (because it was 1880) offers Blake a sip of his Miracle Cure-All but it is of no use.
OBSERVATIONS
- Clearly, this all checks out and none of it is far fetched at all. If anything, this all seems so plausible I now live in fear that I might get crushed underneath a stupid werewolf.
- Miss Bonnie looks way too happy during all of this.
- Damn Slade is sexy. No wonder he has chicks fighting over him and shit.
- Doc is truly a dedicated medical professional.
MOST IMPORTANTLY…
Money is tight around BQB Headquarters but luckily, this exercise has made me realize that I am a gifted artist. I can save a bundle on what I was going to shell out on a cover illustrator and just design the book cover on my own.
Thank you for reading How the West Was Zombed, 3.5 readers. If there are any other chapters you’d like me to illustrate, let me know and I’ll put pen to paper.
Shit, I’m so good at this I might turn this entire thing into a graphic novel.
Bookshelf Battle 