Tag Archives: art

A BQB Kickstarter?

Hey 3.5 readers.

If you’re a young creative person, you really have no idea how good you have it.  I know, every generation tells the next generation that, but it’s true.

In the 1990s, I thought it might be possible to start your own website and share your writing online while bypassing the traditional gatekeepers.  Some early pioneers with HTML coding skills were able to do just that but for the most part, it was too difficult for the average person.

Today, you have blog sites like WordPress where you type and WordPress codes.  You have social media to share your posts with like minded folks via hashtags.

But what about artwork?  Even as far back as the 1990s, the Internet was a very visual medium.  No one wants to read a block of text without some breakup in the monotony.

People used to read physical newspapers and not every article had a photo.  That’s because if you picked up a paper, you came to read.  Meanwhile, on the Internet, you’re trying to get people’s attention.  Flag them down as they pass by and for that you need artwork.

I was really surprised that an artist, based on my descriptions of two of this blog’s characters, Alien Jones and the Yeti, was able to produce this in a short time and frankly, at a reasonable price:


I normally use shutterstock for most of this blog’s characters, but I was wondering if a kickstarter wouldn’t be in order?  By raising some funds, I could hire artists to draw Uncle Hardass, Vinny Baggadouchio, Professor Nannerpants, Dr. Hugo von Science, etc.

What say you, 3.5 readers?  Generally, I don’t like Kickstarter.  I feel it’s like virtual panhandling and it might be embarrassing to start it and get no support.  However, I think some original artwork could help bring this blog to the next level.

I’ve done as much as I can on the cheap.  The stats have increased every year.  The traffic slowly but surely gets slightly better over time, but that’s comparable to like, wind bringing sand to a beach and every five years the beach gets a quarter of an inch thicker.

Tell me your thoughts, 3.5.  If you’ve done a kickstarter, I’d like to hear your advice.  Is this a viable endeavor?


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Logo Ideas

I think I’m going to procure a Fiverr artist to make me a Bookshelf Q. Battler cartoon of myself that I can put on my social media or on my Amazon profile since I will soon be a self-published author.

I’m considering the following:

  1.  Just BQB – a nerd in a super hero costume with a cape.  In the center of the nerd’s chest where the super symbol (like Superman S) would be “BQB.”
  2. BQB kicking the Yeti in the Face.
  3. BQB and Alien Jones, each holding laser blasters in kind of a Lethal Weapon style buddy cop pose.
  4. A Star Wars style logo with me, the Yeti, Video Game Rack Fighter and Alien Jones in various awesome poses.

My ideas thus far.  I’m leaning just towards Superhero BQB as I wonder if the more I shove into the design the more cluttered it becomes.

It’s a lot of money (more than a fiver to get a good one) so I’m worried it might suck.

Which idea do you like or do you have a better one?

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Vote For BQB’s Book Cover

Come on 3.5 readers, your favorite nerd needs you.

Check out the designs proposed for my upcoming book on 99Designs.

You don’t need to vote over there if you don’t want to. I just need you to let me know what you think about the covers and which one you choose and why in the comments on my fine blog here.

I’m facing a real Sophie’s Choice here, 3.5 readers. I literally feel like how Sophie must have felt when the Nazis demanded that she choose between her children.

I mean, OK, maybe it isn’t that bad, but still.

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How the West Was Zombed – BQB’s Mockups of Chapters 64 and 65

Hey 3.5 Readers.

BQB here.  As you all know, I’m a perfectionist.  I need everything to be one-hundred percent genuine.

If you read Chapter 64 and Chapter 65 of my Zombie Western novel, you know that Becker, a damn werewolf, charged at Miss Bonnie.

In turn, Miss Bonnie shot Becker in the head with a silver tipped bullet.

Slade opened the front door to the church, pulled Miss Bonnie out of the way in the nick of time, but alas, Blake was not so lucky.

In the last few moments of his life, Becker kept running, only to fall and crush Blake under his massive werewolf weight.

But that’s ok because Blake was a douche.

There was a lot of science involved in this scene.  Newton’s laws of gravity and such.  I needed to sketch it out to see if it all worked on paper and low and behold, it all added up.

Check it out:



Nope I didn’t have a kid draw this.  This was all me.  OK, so here we see a stupid werewolf who is running.  Miss Bonnie has a gun (I felt the need to make a note of that because some have suggested, if you can believe it, that my artistic skills are lacking).

Everybody’s a critic.

Meanwhile, as you can see to the right, Blake and Gunther are arguing with each other, not paying attention to their surroundings.



Here, we catch our first real life glimpse of the macho stud muffin that is Marshal Slade. As you can see above, he grabs Miss Bonnie and pushes her out of the stupid werewolf’s path just in time.



And finally, we see the untimely demise of the group’s agitator, Martin Blake.  He was too busy getting the last word in during his argument with Gunther to pay attention to the oncoming werewolf and alas, ended up being crushed underneath the hairy remains.

You can see Blake’s head sticking out.  The rest of Blake’s body is crushed underneath the stupid werewolf.

Doc, a believer in the curative properties of cocaine (because it was 1880) offers Blake a sip of his Miracle Cure-All but it is of no use.


  • Clearly, this all checks out and none of it is far fetched at all.  If anything, this all seems so plausible I now live in fear that I might get crushed underneath a stupid werewolf.
  • Miss Bonnie looks way too happy during all of this.
  • Damn Slade is sexy.  No wonder he has chicks fighting over him and shit.
  • Doc is truly a dedicated medical professional.


Money is tight around BQB Headquarters but luckily, this exercise has made me realize that I am a gifted artist.  I can save a bundle on what I was going to shell out on a cover illustrator and just design the book cover on my own.

Thank you for reading How the West Was Zombed, 3.5 readers.  If there are any other chapters you’d like me to illustrate, let me know and I’ll put pen to paper.

Shit, I’m so good at this I might turn this entire thing into a graphic novel.

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Banner Photos

Hi 3.5 Readers,



Hate to do it, you all know how cheap I am, but I’m thinking about opening up the ole wallet and letting the moths fly out to get some banner photos.

What I’m thinking about:

  • Banner images that could be used as the header photo on this site, plus on Twitter and Facebook.
  • Probably through 99 designs.

Possible ideas:

1)  As you know, Alien Jones and I allow the Yeti out of his cage once a week to watch Scandal.  It’s our special Scandal night.  The three of us eat chips and dip and talk about Olivia’s latest adventures.

The image would be a nerd to represent myself sitting on a couch between the Yeti and Alien Jones with a TV in front of us.

Should my main squeeze Video Game Rack Fighter also be on the couch?  Could be cool, could be crowded.  Cuz then, do I have to add Dr. Hugo Von Science, Uncle Hardass and other subsidiary characters?

2)  Not exactly Star Wars but a Star Wars – esque poster where a nerd, that would be me, is in some kind of action pose, holding a ray gun or something, Video Game Rack Fighter clutching me….Dr. Hugo and Alien Jones have my back, the Yeti looms large ready to eat me or something.

3)  Maybe just my bookshelf with battles going on it.  A bunch of books and little characters running around on the shelves attacking each other.

Which one of these ideas do you like and do you have any others, 3.5 Readers?

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Movie Review – The Woman in Gold (2015)

Nazis.  Damn they sucked.

The Woman in Gold

The Woman in Gold

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of The Woman in Gold.

Based on real events, the film follows the story of Maria Altmann (Helen Mirren) and Randol Schoenberg (Ryan Reynolds) in an underdog against the odds quest to return a famous painting once stolen by Nazi’s from Maria’s family.

The year is 1998 and Maria is an elderly boutique owner in California.  Young Randol (Randy) is the son of an old friend of Maria’s.  Randy’s a newly minted lawyer and having a rough go of it.  His practice just went under, he and his wife (played by Katie Holmes) just have a newborn baby, and he’s just managed to secure a position with a big time law firm.

It all begins with some polite free advice – Maria consults Randy about what to do in light of the fact that the Austrian government has been making an effort to return artwork stolen by the Nazi regime to their rightful owners.

The painting in question?  The much admired “Woman in Gold” painted by artist Gustav Klimt.  Over the years, it moved from Nazi hands to a public art gallery and has become beloved by the country as “the Austrian Mona Lisa.”

The Woman in Gold – Movieclips Trailers

But to Maria, it’s a picture of her dear Aunt Adele.

The movie switches back and forth from past to present.  Randy and Maria take on a government that doesn’t want to return the painting.  In the past, young Maria once lived a happy life in a prominent Jewish family, where her father played the cello and there was much singing and dancing by all.

Alas, the Nazis come to power, roll into Austria, and Jewish people are robbed blind, their homes stripped of possessions.  Nazis takeover Maria’s home and haul off all the artwork inside, including the portrait of Adele.

They’re forced to undergo all manner of humiliations, often cheered on by onlooking non-Jewish Austrians.

Maria’s family had worked hard for what they had and the Nazis took it all.  So many decades later, for the elderly Maria, the fight for the painting’s return isn’t so much about the painting itself, or about the money (its worth at the time was 150 million), it’s a desire for the Austrian government to admit it did wrong – that Austrians welcomed the Nazis into the country with open arms and openly supported the mistreatment of Jewish citizens.

In the past, we see young Maria and her husband make a heroic and daring escape out of the country, after which they make their way to America.  For the rest of her life, Maria feels resentment at those who turned Austria into a place she had to leave.  She also feels guilt for leaving her family behind, and is angry at those who made her do so.

In the more recent past, the late 90’s, we see Randy go from viewing the case as a nuisance, then a chance to make some loot when he realizes how much its worth, and finally a chance to right a past wrong.  Randy puts his career on the line and loses everything in pursuit of the case.  Meanwhile, Maria goes from wanting to pursue the case to wanting to forget it all.

It becomes an international and complicated case as Randy battles the Austrian government in Austria, and later before the U.S. Supreme Court.

Do they win?  Well…that’s a spoiler in gold, isn’t it?  Ha ha ha.

This was an interesting and enjoyable film.  It’s not getting a lot of press. It’s a film I like to call “Oscar-ish.”  Hollywood often makes Oscarish films, movies about serious subjects and give actors a chance to flex their serious role chops but for whatever reason, they don’t end up in the Oscar running.  That’s not to say this film won’t, though it is rather early in the season.

It’s also a story that needed to be told.  I’m often amazed that even after so many WWII movies, even today there are stories that are still emerging.  Maria’s family had worked hard for what they had, contributed to their society and the thanks they received was the government and their fellow citizens cheering on the Nazis in their anti-Jewish reign of terror.

Go see it, noble readers.


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I hope everyone had a good holiday!

For the New Year, I’ve been thinking it would be good to get some new headline banners for my blog.  The Army Men on my bookshelf was about the best I could do with my limited artistic ability.  Who knows a good artist that would be into such a thing?

Some ideas:

  • Two cartoon books with faces and boxing gloves slugging it out.  Silly?  Yes, but that’s what bookshelfbattle is all about.
  • Various tiny soldiers, warriors, monsters, aliens, robots, etc – fantasy fighters going to war on my bookshelf.  The artist could go nuts.  The armies could meet in traditional battle on my bookshelf or they could hide behind books, jump out from between the pages like ninjas, be like guerrilla warfare dudes.
  • Or any other fun ideas an artist could come up with.
  • I could probably use some logos too – i.e. that gravatar image or whatever you call it – the image that shows up when you comment, and something I could use as a Twitter profile image too.

I doubt I could afford a hefty bill, but I could probably work out some meager compensation and provide some attribution to said artist or artists.  Obviously, the final product would have to be provided to me in digital form, ready for me to just stick up on the site, or at the very least the artist would have to be able to work with me to make that happen.

If anyone knows anyone trustworthy and reliable like that or know of resources/sites  where such artists can be found, please let me know in the comments!

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