How the West Was Zombed – BQB’s Mockups of Chapters 64 and 65

Hey 3.5 Readers.

BQB here.  As you all know, I’m a perfectionist.  I need everything to be one-hundred percent genuine.

If you read Chapter 64 and Chapter 65 of my Zombie Western novel, you know that Becker, a damn werewolf, charged at Miss Bonnie.

In turn, Miss Bonnie shot Becker in the head with a silver tipped bullet.

Slade opened the front door to the church, pulled Miss Bonnie out of the way in the nick of time, but alas, Blake was not so lucky.

In the last few moments of his life, Becker kept running, only to fall and crush Blake under his massive werewolf weight.

But that’s ok because Blake was a douche.

There was a lot of science involved in this scene.  Newton’s laws of gravity and such.  I needed to sketch it out to see if it all worked on paper and low and behold, it all added up.

Check it out:

ILLUSTRATION #1

CehxuCoXIAAEBgC.jpg-large

Nope I didn’t have a kid draw this.  This was all me.  OK, so here we see a stupid werewolf who is running.  Miss Bonnie has a gun (I felt the need to make a note of that because some have suggested, if you can believe it, that my artistic skills are lacking).

Everybody’s a critic.

Meanwhile, as you can see to the right, Blake and Gunther are arguing with each other, not paying attention to their surroundings.

ILLUSTRATION #2

CehxxpzWEAEqLMq.jpg-large

Here, we catch our first real life glimpse of the macho stud muffin that is Marshal Slade. As you can see above, he grabs Miss Bonnie and pushes her out of the stupid werewolf’s path just in time.

ILLUSTRATION #3

Cehx1w1WIAA6QYY.jpg-large

And finally, we see the untimely demise of the group’s agitator, Martin Blake.  He was too busy getting the last word in during his argument with Gunther to pay attention to the oncoming werewolf and alas, ended up being crushed underneath the hairy remains.

You can see Blake’s head sticking out.  The rest of Blake’s body is crushed underneath the stupid werewolf.

Doc, a believer in the curative properties of cocaine (because it was 1880) offers Blake a sip of his Miracle Cure-All but it is of no use.

OBSERVATIONS

  • Clearly, this all checks out and none of it is far fetched at all.  If anything, this all seems so plausible I now live in fear that I might get crushed underneath a stupid werewolf.
  • Miss Bonnie looks way too happy during all of this.
  • Damn Slade is sexy.  No wonder he has chicks fighting over him and shit.
  • Doc is truly a dedicated medical professional.

MOST IMPORTANTLY…

Money is tight around BQB Headquarters but luckily, this exercise has made me realize that I am a gifted artist.  I can save a bundle on what I was going to shell out on a cover illustrator and just design the book cover on my own.

Thank you for reading How the West Was Zombed, 3.5 readers.  If there are any other chapters you’d like me to illustrate, let me know and I’ll put pen to paper.

Shit, I’m so good at this I might turn this entire thing into a graphic novel.

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One thought on “How the West Was Zombed – BQB’s Mockups of Chapters 64 and 65

  1. Reblogged this on Bookshelf Battle and commented:

    Previously on How the West Was Zombed…

    Miss Bonnie and her new werewolf friend, the young amateur werewolf Miles ran to the church with evil werewolf Becker in hot pursuit.

    Miss Bonnie shot him with a silver bullet, but Becker kept running and running…until he collapsed on top of Blake, crushing him to death instantly.

    But that was ok because Blake was an epic douche. One of those guys who is always quick to point out how everyone else is wrong but never has a suggestion to offer himself.

    By the way – I meant these drawings as a joke. Sometimes jokes don’t always land and I worry maybe my 3.5 readers thought that I thought I was a great artist or something.

    Nope. It was all done sarcastically.

    Fear not. If I finish this I’ll enlist the help of 99Designs or some other reputable artist for a book cover.

    I can’t believe we live in a time when it is relatively easy to find someone to draw a book cover.

    Anyway, it is time for more chapters of this masterpiece.

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