Tag Archives: covid

Watch John Wick for Free on Lionsgate Live

Hey 3.5 readers.

Just wanted to pass it along – in about, oh 20 minutes by my clock, there’s a free screening of John Wick on Lionsgate Live.  Apparently, Lionsgate has been showing one of their movies every Friday night, and asking for donations from viewers to help movie theater employees who have been furloughed due to COVID-19

So, I know there’s only 3.5 of you, but if any of you haven’t seen it yet or want to see it again, John Wick is a great movie worth checking out.

I do worry about the future of the movie theater industry. Going to see a movie in the theater was one of my favorite things, but with streaming services on the rise, and now the shutdown, plus Hollywood postponing the release dates of movies that should have been out now, well, let’s hope this among many other problems will be solved and soon.

https://lionsgate.live/

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I Speak for the Bat

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I Speak for the Bat

(The Long Awaited Follow-up to I Speak for the Pangolin)

By: Bookshelf Q. Battler

Based on the Lorax

My name is BQB and I speak for the bat.

I don’t speak for the cat or the rat.

I speak for flying rodents.

For it’s the decent thing to do,

To make sure you’re not eating a winged hamster,

Covered in guano poo poo.

Yes!  My name is BQB and I speak for the bat.

They’re tiny and small and have wings that go flap, flap, flap, flap.

Bats have no place in your stew and don’t belong in your pot.

If you’re sticking a bat in your mouth at this moment, I am begging you to stop.

Bats do not taste like candy.  Bats do not taste like chicken.

If you pack a bat for your lunch, it’s the entire world that you will sicken.

Bats don’t taste good with hot sauce and they don’t taste good with ranch dressing.

Eating bats leads to worldwide quarantines, and that’s a state of life that’s oh, so very depressing.

Bats belong in the sky.  They don’t belong in your deep frier.

Eating bats can spread disease, not to mention turn you into a vampire.

Don’t ever put a bat on your spatula,

Or else you’ll end up like Dracula.

Don’t put a bat in your deep frier.

Trust me, for I am not a liar.

Hey!  I am BQB and I speak for the bat.

Bats don’t belong in your Happy Meal.

How many times must I tell you that?

Bats were born to flutter,

Not to be slathered up with peanut butter.

Am I really going much too far,

When I remind you to never eat an animal that can navigate via sonar?

Bats have no place in your fondue and should never be in your microwave.

When you are free of bat dinner, what will you do?  I know! Go dance in a rave!

Bats are smelly and dirty and are like little blood sucking psychotics.

Eating them will unleash a global plague that can’t be cured by common antibiotics.

So please, I’m asking you to never eat a bat.

You’ll get the world sick, and the economy will go splat.

In closing, I say that I am BQB and I speak for the bat.

Bats belong in caves.  It’s their natural habitat.

Bats don’t belong in a face.

It’s just common sense.

So save the human race,

Before we all become past tense.

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I Speak for the Pangolin

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I Speak for the Pangolin

By: Bookshelf Q. Battler

(Based on The Lorax)

My name is BQB and I speak for the pangolin.

It’s like an anteater, complete with battle armor for skin.

And people, I have to say, it’s really quite suspicious,

That anyone would ever find a pangolin to be delicious.

Yes!  My name is BQB and I speak for the pangolin.

It’s like an armadillo, but with a slimy little chin.

My friends, I tell you, it really is a sin,

When you’re cooking a pot of soup, to throw a pangolin in!

Pangolins are not delicious.  They do not taste good.

All a pangolin ever wanted to do was frolic in the wood.

If you eat a pangolin, you will get the entire world sick.

So please don’t eat a pangolin, or else you’ll be a dick.

Every pangolin has a purpose, and every pangolin has its time.

So eating a pangolin sandwich really should be a crime.

Pangolins don’t taste good in broth and they don’t taste good on toast.

Eating a poor, defenseless pangolin is something about which one should never boast.

So don’t lick pangolin ice cream and don’t spread pangolin jelly.

For the last place a pangolin wants to be is inside a human’s belly.

Yes!  My name is BQB and I speak for all the pangolins of the world.

Please heed my warning, and let my message be unfurled.

Pangolins have no place in your stomach, but you can keep them in your heart.

From a distance, of course, for you and a pangolin should always be apart.

Sure, pangolins are adorable, but remember, they aren’t good for licking.

So keep your tongue in your mouth, or it’s the world’s ass you’ll be kicking.

Keep the pangolin off your pizza and take the pangolin out of your oven.

Pangolins aren’t a treat, ya know, so don’t feed one to your cousin.

Don’t grind a pangolin in your blender and don’t bake a pangolin up in a souffle.

If you do, you’ll send the entire planet on a bender and there will surely be hell to pay.

For pangolins are unclean and are scary little disease carriers.

If God wanted you to eat a pangolin, he wouldn’t have covered their bods with spiny little barriers.

In closing, let me say, that I am BQB and I speak for the pangolin.

If the pangolin could speak, then I would go out tango-in.

If the pangolin could speak, they’d say, “Please, do not eat me!”

But until the pangolin can speak, you’ll have to take it from BQB.

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