PREVIOUSLY ON BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE…
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I felt like I was going to vomit. Vicky already had.
Happly’s rickety propeller plane jostled us all over the place. It was such a rusty bucket of bolts that it looked like it was going to fall apart at any minute.
“How y’all doin’ back there?” Happly shouted back to us over the loud, struggling engine. It sounded like it hadn’t been tuned up in years, if at all.
Thank you for flying with Kip Happly Enterprises. The lap of luxury package costs a hundred bucks extra. Actual package may or may not be included.
I looked around. We were surrounded by crates filled with live chickens, guns, grenades, and a white powdery substance that was either sugar or nose candy.
“I thought you said we’d be flying in the lap of luxury!” I yelled.
An asian woman popped her head out of the copilot’s seat and looked at us.
“Meet my wife, Luxury!” Happly yelled. “Met her in a Bangkok Boom Boom Room! A real sweet gal! Not entirely sure if she was born a man or a woman but when you’re in love, you’re in love.”
“Um,” I said. “OK then.”
“Aww,” Vicky said, clutching her right hand over her heart. “That’s so sweet!”
“Did y’all want to sit on her lap?” Happly asked. “I forgot to mention, that’s an extra hundred bucks!”
“We’re good!” I yelled.
An explosion bursted about ten feet over the cockpit windshield. I felt my butt pucker to the point where it almost sucked me inside of it.
“Holy smokes!” Happly yelled. “That’s our welcoming party! Them Pango-Tango boys do not like uninvited guests!”
“Can you radio them or something?!” I shouted. “Tell them we’re friendly!”
Happly slapped his knee and laughed. Luxury joined in.
“Son, they don’t give a flyin’ elephant patoot if you’re friendly or not!” Happly said.
“They’re not going to try to blow us up when we land are we?” I asked.
Happly turned around and lifted his goggles to reveal one tiny beady eye and one milky glass eye.
“Son!” the pilot yelled. “Who in tarnation ever said anything about landing?!”
No landing? Say what? Oh no he did-ent. BQB and the Meaning of Life returns tomorrow. Same BQB time. Same BQB channel. Tell your friends. If you have no friends, make some and tell them.
Copyright (C) 2015 Bookshelf Q. Battler. All Rights Reserved.
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