Tag Archives: air travel

Daily Discussion with BQB – The Guy That Was Dragged off the United Airlines Flight

Here’s my take on it, 3.5 readers.

On the one hand, the idea that you can purchase a ticket to leave on a flight at a certain time and yet be moved off of that flight even though you have plans and you’re on a schedule totally sucks.  If the airlines depend on seats to move their employees where they need to go, then they should keep a certain amount of seats open and eat the cost.  If the distance isn’t even that far, say four hours or less, the company should rent a van for the employees to drive to the next location rather than bump paying passengers.

On the other hand, rightly or wrongly, this is a legal practice.  I’m sure buried 10,000 lines down into the fine print on your ticket for any airline and not just United, that the company reserves the right to bump you off a flight.  It sucks, but as long as it’s legal, people have to comply with it.

Yes, complain.  Yes, raise a stink.  However, once the cops get involved…leave.  There’s a disturbing societal trend where people think they have a right to not comply with the police.  Even the worst lawyer will tell you that if you think you’re being unjustly hassled, just shut up, do as the cops say, and then if you really have a case, sue later.

In this case, the guy should have walked away rather than be dragged away.  Take the next flight, then sue for the cost of your missed work, any burdens you suffered, etc.

This is probably a learning lesson that the law should be changed and airlines shouldn’t be allowed to overbook and passengers should have a right to expect that a ticket on a plane at a certain time means they can to leave on a plane at a certain time.  However, as long as this is the law, suck it up, leave, and then seek whatever legal action possible to reimburse whatever the delay cost you.

What say you, 3.5?

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BQB and the Meaning of Life – Part 23 – I Object

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“Y’all better fasten your seat belts!” Happly yelled. “We’re almost to the drop point!”

Vicky fastened hers. Seeing I was in shock, she fastened mine around me. We were sitting together on one big bench in the middle of the plane.

“Listen!” I yelled. “There’s been a misunderstanding here!”

Kip Happly Enterprises.  We'll get you there...sort of.

Kip Happly Enterprises. We’ll get you there…sort of.

“No, son!” Happly shouted back. “Like I said, there’s no landing!”

“Just take us back!” I screamed. “I’m not going to jump out of an airplane!”

“Oh Ed,” Vicky said as she patted my knee. “Stop being such a worry wart. Everything’s going to work out fine. It’ll be fun!”

“Get ready!” Happly shouted.

I looked out the window. We were over the island.

“Alright folks!” Happly yelled. “Time for us to part ways! Thank you for flying with Kip Happly Enterprises…”

“No!” I yelled. “Don’t!!! I OBJECT!”

“WHAT?” Happly asked.

“I OBJECT!”

“EJECT?!” Happly asked. “You got it, friend! ADIOS!”

Unbeknownst to us, Vicky and I had been sitting on top of a pair of cargo bay doors the entire time. Happly punched a button, the doors opened up, and my new friend and I found ourselves strapped to a bench, hurtling through the air at warp speed, screaming our heads off.

And then Bookshelf Q. Battler and Vicky died.  That’s it.  That’s how the story ends, with the main characters stone cold dead.  Hope you enjoyed reading.

Oh wait, actually they’re still alive…find out what happens next time on BQB and the Meaning of Life.

Copyright (C) Bookshelf Q. Battler.  All Rights Reserved.

Pilot photo courtesy of a shutterstock.com image.

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BQB and the Meaning of Life – Part 22 – Welcoming Party

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I felt like I was going to vomit. Vicky already had.

Happly’s rickety propeller plane jostled us all over the place. It was such a rusty bucket of bolts that it looked like it was going to fall apart at any minute.

“How y’all doin’ back there?” Happly shouted back to us over the loud, struggling engine.  It sounded like it hadn’t been tuned up in years, if at all.

Thank you for flying with Kip Happly Enterprises.  The lap of luxury package costs a hundred bucks extra.  Actual package may or may not be included.

Thank you for flying with Kip Happly Enterprises. The lap of luxury package costs a hundred bucks extra. Actual package may or may not be included.

I looked around. We were surrounded by crates filled with live chickens, guns, grenades, and a white powdery substance that was either sugar or nose candy.

“I thought you said we’d be flying in the lap of luxury!” I yelled.

An asian woman popped her head out of the copilot’s seat and looked at us.

“Meet my wife, Luxury!” Happly yelled. “Met her in a Bangkok Boom Boom Room! A real sweet gal! Not entirely sure if she was born a man or a woman but when you’re in love, you’re in love.”

“Um,” I said. “OK then.”

“Aww,” Vicky said, clutching her right hand over her heart. “That’s so sweet!”

“Did y’all want to sit on her lap?” Happly asked. “I forgot to mention, that’s an extra hundred bucks!”

“We’re good!” I yelled.

An explosion bursted about ten feet over the cockpit windshield. I felt my butt pucker to the point where it almost sucked me inside of it.

“Holy smokes!” Happly yelled. “That’s our welcoming party! Them Pango-Tango boys do not like uninvited guests!”

“Can you radio them or something?!” I shouted. “Tell them we’re friendly!”

Happly slapped his knee and laughed. Luxury joined in.

“Son, they don’t give a flyin’ elephant patoot if you’re friendly or not!” Happly said.

“They’re not going to try to blow us up when we land are we?” I asked.

Happly turned around and lifted his goggles to reveal one tiny beady eye and one milky glass eye.

“Son!” the pilot yelled. “Who in tarnation ever said anything about landing?!”

No landing?  Say what?  Oh no he did-ent.  BQB and the Meaning of Life returns tomorrow.  Same BQB time.  Same BQB channel.  Tell your friends.  If you have no friends, make some and tell them.

Copyright (C) 2015 Bookshelf Q. Battler.  All Rights Reserved.

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BQB and the Meaning of Life – Part 21 – Too Trusting

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“She’s not my…uhh….”

“Yes!” Vicky said. “Can you take us there?”

Kip Happly, US Air Force. Retired?  Dishonorably discharged?  You say tomato, I say to-mah-to...

Kip Happly, US Air Force. Retired? Dishonorably discharged? You say tomato, I say to-mah-to…

“I sure can, Ma’am,” the man said as he grabbed Vicky’s hand and smooched it. “Kip Happly’s the name.  Flying dangerous missions is my game. Why, in my day, I dropped more bombs on the world than network television!”

“You were in the air force?” Vicky asked.

“Yes indeed,” Happly said. “United States Air Force.  Ten years before, well, there was an incident involving a Stealth Bomber being flown in an unstealthy manner but hell, we don’t need to get into that.”

“You’ve got a plane?”  Vicky asked.

“Of course,”  Happly replied.  “A fine craft.  You’ll be sitting pretty in the lap of luxury! For three hundred US dollars I’ll get you where you’re going.”

“That’s a great deal!” Vicky said.

It occurred to me that Vicky was serious and I started to worry.

“Whaddya say, pal?” Happly said as he lightly punched my shoulder.

“Sorry,” I said. “I don’t have that much cash on me.”

“Fear not, traveler!” Happly said. “Kip Happly Enterprises, a Limited Liability Company, fully registered in Sri Lanka for tax purposes, takes all major credit cards.”

“Thank God!” Vicky said.

I shook my head. I took a moment to think about it. Doubting a better way would present itself, I forked over my plastic.

“I’ll run this and be back in a jiff!” Happly said as he walked away.

“Vicky,” I said. “I don’t want to be rude but…”

“What?”

“You’re a little too trusting…”

“I am?”

“You are,” I said. “You don’t know me and you told me your whole life story. You don’t know this weird pilot guy and you’re signing us up to get on his plane…”

“We’re trying to get to a country with a travel ban on it due to a raging civil war!” Vicky said. “A wacko is our only hope for getting there!”

It was the first disagreement we had in our brand new friendship.

Was Vicky right for trusting Kip Happly of Kip Happly Enterprises, a Limited Liability Company Registered in Sri Lanka?

Find out next time on Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life!

Copyright (C) Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Pilot image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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BQB and the Meaning of Life – Part 20 – Welcome to the Third World

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“Welcome to the Third World International Airport,”  the announcer said.  “We’d tell you what country you are in, but we don’t want to offend the 3.5 people reading this story.”

Inside the airport, Vicky and I walked through the hustle and bustle.

A boy ran up to me with a bundle of roses and yanked on my shirt tail.

“Mr. American sir!” the boy said. “Buy some flowers for your pretty wife!”

I looked at Vicky. She giggled. I grinned.

“She’s not my uh…OK kid. How much?”

“Five hundred US Dollars,” the boy said.

“Get outta’ here!”

“OK,” the boy said. “You drive a hard bargain. Five US dollars!”

“One US dollar!” I said.

“What?” the boy asked. “Your wife isn’t worth five dollars?”

A notorious skinfelt, Bookshelf Q. Battler (BQB) was so smitten with Video Game Rack Fighter (VGRF) that he shelled out five, count em, five big ones for some posies.   He really did.  Moths flew out of his wallet and everything.

A notorious skinflint, Bookshelf Q. Battler (BQB) was so smitten with Video Game Rack Fighter (VGRF) that he shelled out five, count em, five big ones for some posies. He really did. Moths flew out of his wallet and everything.

Damn it. Trapped by a little street vendor’s logic. I pulled a fiver out of my wallet and handed it to him. He gave the rose to Vicky.

“Why thank you, Ed,” Vicky said. “I’m flattered.”

We found a table and sat down.

“So,” Vicky said. “I told you I’m going to visit the Great Guru so I can ask him about the meaning of life. You never told me why you’re going to Pango-Tango.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, funny you mention it, I’m also trying to visit the Great Guru.”

Vicky’s beautiful eyes blossomed.

“You are?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Do you want to know the meaning of life too?” she asked.

I didn’t want to lie. But I didn’t want another Blandie on my hands either.

“My company,” I said. “Beige Corp. They sent me to uh…make a sales call. Yeah. That’s it. The Great Guru wants to by some beige products and accessories for his sanctuary.”

“Wow,” Vicky said. “Beige?”

“Yeah.”

“The Guru must have really boring taste.”

“Yeah.”

Vicky scratched her head.

“You know,” she said. “This might sound dumb, but I have no idea what to do now.”

“Me neither,” I said. “I just bought a ticket to “Somewhere in the Third World” because that’s the closest the airlines will take you to Pango-Tango.”

“Me too!” Vicky said. “Oh good! At least we’re both flying by the seat of our pants!”

“I was hoping there’d be a boat or a connecting flight or something once I

Seems trustworthy,

Seems trustworthy,

got here,” I said.

I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned around to find a goofy looking man wearing a brown leather bomber jacket. His eyes were covered by a pair of goggles.

“Did I hear you and your wife say you want to get to Pango-Tango?”

Will BQB and VGRF ever make it to Pango Tango?  And do they really want to trust this wacko?  More BQB and the meaning of life to come!

Copyright (C) Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Nerds with flowers and wacky pilot images courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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