Tag Archives: hbo

Game of Thrones Recap – Episode 7, Season 7 – The Dragon and the Wolf

I’m so sad, 3.5 readers.

One of my favorite shows will soon come to an end…next summer…because they’re making us all wait.

I have to say I have been long waiting for the big, final battle over King’s Landing between the Lannisters and the Khaleesi.  I always assumed that would come first and then the winner would face the White Walkers.

Not so fast as there was a truce.  The Dragon Queen and the Bitchy Queen will hold onto their menstruations for now in order to face the greater white walker threat.

Not exactly the outcome I was hoping for, but perhaps it will pay off in the next season.

I feel a little cheated that these seasons are shorter, but I’ll wait and see.  Perhaps the showrunners know what they are doing.

For a moment, it was looking like there would be a sad showdown between Sansa and Arya, only to see them turn on Littlefinger.  Unlike the Internet, I was sad to see Littlefinger go.  All of the other characters were born into their wealth and prestige.  Littlefinger actually had to work for it.  Sure, he was a douche, but when you only have yourself to rely on, you have to be that much douchier.

During the truce scene, I kept waiting for Cersei to spring a trap.  Maybe all her guests would be killed ala the Red Wedding but nope, no cigar.

The big secret of the show is revealed.  Jon Snow is not a bastard.  He is the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyana Stark.  That means as the oldest male Targaryen he is the rightful ruler of Westeros and oh yeah, since he didn’t know and boned the Khaleesi, he is now an Auntie fucker.

Oh well.  The Targaryens keep it in the family.

Wasn’t it sad to see the Wall go?  It’s been a menacing presence for years only for a damn fire breathing zombie dragon to make short work of it.

What’s next, 3.5 readers?

 

 

Advertisements
Tagged , , ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – Always Man the Anti-Dragon Crossbow

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

I’ve watched the final scene of the latest Game of Thrones episode a bunch of times now, the one where Khaleesi burns the shit out of the Lannister army with her dragon’s red hot fire breath.

Truly, some bad ass shit we fans have been waiting seven years to see.

Question – why was the anti-dragon crossbow just sitting in a covered wagon, all wrapped up and not ready to fire?  Why did Sir Bronn have to fight his way across a battlefield to get to it?

I mean, seriously?  WTF, people?  If you know there’s a crazy ass blonde bitch with a fat ass fire breathing dragon at her command, you would think that it would be common sense for the big ass anti-dragon crossbow to be manned at all times.

Day.  Night.  Weekday.  Weekend.  Holiday.  There should always be some dude behind that crossbow waiting to shoot a damn dragon.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

 

 

 

 

Tagged , , ,

Game of Thrones Review – Season 7, Episode 4 – The Spoils of War

Hey 3.5 readers.  BQB here.

This episode is one that fans have been waiting to see for years.

First, there was the long awaited reunion of the Stark children.  They were babies when the show started, young adults now.  Any one of the actors/actresses could have gotten too big for their britches and abandoned the show.  Sophie Turner in particular has landed some big roles like Jean Gray in the X Men films.  But they all stuck with their first gig and remained loyal to the fans so this day could come.

Second, how long have we all been waiting for a big time dragon warfare scene?  Pretty awesome.  Pretty devastating.  It would truly suck to be on the business end of a fiery dragon hole, let me tell you.

Want a sign that the writing on this show is fabulous?  It’s that you simultaneously root for all the characters to win.  As Sir Bronn of the Blackwater goes for that big ass anti-dragon crossbow, you simultaneously root for him to blow that dragon out of the sky and also for the dragon to sit Bronn on fire so Khaleesi can survive.

It’s all in the backstory.  We’ve seen Bronn go from rags to riches so we want him to hang in there.  But we’ve seen Khalessi do the same so we want her to stick around too.

We cheer for Khaleesi’s dragons to burn up the Lannister army yet we also cheer Jamie on as he fends off the Dothraki.  What a show that can make us feel for both sides.

Seriously.  The standard for most fantasy fare is one side is so absurdly evil that you can’t wait for them to die at the hands of the good guys who are unwaveringly good.  Here, you get the backstory.  We understand why the Lannisters have done what they have done, just as we understand Khaleesi’s motivations.

Ultimately, it looks like Khaleesi would do the best as Queen of Westeros, but we feel for Bronn and Jamie.  We know how they ended up on that battlefield.  We know under different circumstances they might have chosen better sides.  We don’t want them to become dragon chow.

Plus, when Tyrion says, “You fucking idiot.”  Who is he talking about?  Khaleesi for landing her dragon right in the middle of the battlefield to tend to his wound or Jamie, for charging in the general direction of a damn dragon?  It’s certainly open ended.

Oh and how long have we waited for the Dothraki invasion?  Khaleesi’s loyal army of foreign, wild card warrior rapists have been cooling their heels for a long ass time now and are ready for action.  Also rape.  Not gonna lie.  They’re probably gonna do a lot of raping.  That’s what Dothraki do.  I mean, I don’t want to engage in harmful stereotypes, but always wear a cast iron chastity belt when you’re around a Dothraki.  It’s just common sense, really.

By the way, is it me or have all the rules about how fast armies can travel in this massive continent suspended?  I feel like in the beginning it would take armies half the season to move anywhere.  Now you’ve got Euron Greyjoy taking down Khaleesi’s fleet right away and Khaleesi and dragons and Dothraki make it from Dragonstone to High Garden within the span of an episode.

Oh well.  The writers on this show are suffering some mild senioritis.  I suppose we can overlook travel time rules for more awesome dragon scenes.

 

 

 

 

Tagged , , ,

Should Ed Sheeran Have Had a Cameo on Game of Thrones?

Pro – he’s probably a fan who had a good time doing it.

Con – This show is bigger than the actors.  It has never had to rest on large personalities or gimmicks, so this seemed cheesy.

Discuss.

Tagged , , , ,

Game of Thrones Wrap-Up – Season 7, Episode 1 – Dragonstone

It’s a Game of Spoilers, 3.5 readers.  Look away, I say.

Basically, Cersei and Jaime are screwed, and more so than the usual screwing they do to each other.

To the South, the Dornish Amazons are pissed.  To the North, Jon Snow is King.  The Whitewalkers are headed for the Wall.

Oh, and the Khaleesi has landed.  Repeat, the Khaleesi has landed.

Arya has taken out all the Freys with her ninja skills.  Oh and all the kids have officially grown up.  Arya, Bran and Sansa are all super tall and look like they ate their Wheaties over the past year.  Sigh, this decade really has moved fast, hasn’t it?

Yes, things suck big time for Cersei.  And with her children and family gone, Jaime asks the inevitable question of what are they even fighting for?

Her only potential ally at this point seems to be Euron Greyjoy, who promises a fleet and a special mysterious gift if he can get all up in Cersei’s lady business.

Don’t do it, Euron.  You know she’s packing a steel bear trap in that thing.

Tagged , , ,

Writing Choices – Game of Thrones and an Overabundance of Characters

Sigh.  Why must I wait until July for Game of Thrones to come back on the air?

Oh well.  This one will be a short one.

Game of Thrones has so many characters – so, so many characters.  And many of them are key players.  All in all, we’re talking like, hundreds of parts.

I suppose it makes sense in a wide-sweeping epic.  Then again, I’ve found that in my own writing, sometimes it is difficult to just keep track of the names of the bit players.  If you have a secretary named Janet who gives your hero a key piece of info, you want to make a note of it so you don’t name another character Janet.

Sure, in real life, you’ll probably run into multiple people named Janet.  People don’t check to see many Janets there are around you before deciding whether or not to add one more Janet to the mix.  But, to the reader, two characters with the same name will be confusing.

Plus, how do you describe all those characters?  There are only so many ways to describe a person.  At the end of the day, we all aren’t snowflakes.  Sure, we all look different and those differences are readily noticeable to the eye but on paper?  “He’s old, she’s young, he’s tall, she’s short, he’s skinny, she’s fat” I mean, really…how do you come up with unique descriptions for over two hundred people or more?

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:  Can you keep up with all the characters on Game of Thrones?  How do you do it?  I’ve been watching the show since the beginning and I still just refer to many of the characters as, “The guy who did the thing.”  Also, tell me how you keep track of the characters in your stories.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Game of Thrones – Season 7 Trailer – The Long Walk

Hey 3.5 readers.  The season we’ve waited so long for is finally here.  John Snow vs. Cersei vs. the Khaleesi vs. the Whitewalkers.

You know we’ve been hoping that John Snow and the Khaleesi will take shit over and bring Westeros into a new age of peace and prosperity, but given what we know of George R.R. Martin’s penchant for surprises, aliens will probably land and blow everything up right at the end or something.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

Tagged , , , ,

Some Thoughts on Westworld

Hey 3.5 readers.

I’m late to the party but I’m finally two episodes in on Westworld. I’m enjoying it. My initial reaction was the cat is let out of the bag before the show even starts as you know right away its a show about an android cowboy theme part…but there seem to be plenty of twists and turns ahead.

After two episodes, I’m hooked so I will come back for more.

Tagged , , ,

What are you watching on TV this Summer?

Sorry. I guess I’m all about the books now. I just lack the energy to help my esteemed BQB columnists get their work out.  Hopefully I’ll find the time soon.

Till then, what are you watching on TV? I miss when True Blood used to be on HBO during the summers. That was fun.

Tagged , ,

Game of Thrones Recap – Season 6, Episode 10 – “The Winds of Winter” – Season Finale

Time flies when you’re having fun, doesn’t it 3.5 readers?

Season 6 of GOT is over. Done. Finito. In the books.

Let’s talk but beware for like Melisandre’s mystical vagina, this post is dark and full of terrors…AND SPOILERS.

Mostly spoilers.

cropped-img_1757

From a writing standpoint, so many things happened this season that we’ve all been waiting for a long time:

  • Arya got her revenge.
  • Jon Snow is King of the North.
  • Sansa escaped a life of having to go from being tortured by one douche to being tortured by another douche.
  • One of Cersie’s schemes actually worked.
  • The Imp is finally recognized by someone who appreciates his brain.
  • The Khaleesi is on her way to Westeros.
  • Overall, the kids have grown up and everyone’s either doing or on their way to doing what they’ve been meant to do all along.

So about last night –

CERSEI 

She’s long lamented that her lack of a dong has held her back. She has argued many a time that she’s wise and brilliant and if only she were a man she’d be taken seriously.

Well, people be taking her ass seriously now because…holy shit…she done went and exploded the Sept of Baelor.

Took out the High Sparrow, all his little sparrows, probably even the Tyrells though technically we didn’t get full confirmation as to whether or not Margery and Loras made it out or not.

The running joke about Cersei is that her schemes always fail. Not only do they fail but they usually make her problems worse. (i.e. she gives the High Sparrow extra powers to go after her enemies only to have him turn on her.)

Did Cersie know that Tommen would kill himself?

You could argue yes because she did put on her Queenly garment before it all went down.

You could argue no because she had Frankenmountain keep him from getting blown up and historically, though she has been douchey to everyone else, she has been fiercely loyal to her children.

At any rate, her butt is on the Iron Throne.

KHALEESI

I know her name isn’t Khaleesi but I like it better and it is easier to spell.

Didn’t you get goosebumps seeing all those ships and dragons crossing the Narrow Sea?

The long awaited invasion of Westeros is on the way.

Though  I have to wonder, when that happens, could the end of the show be far behind? Putting the Khaleesi on the Iron Throne and defeating the White Walkers seems like the final plot points that need to be wrapped up.

THE IRON BORN

Bunch of smelly pirate vikings.

If you ask me, GRRM is way too obsessed with turning his male characters into eunuchs.  Spare the balls, George. Spare the balls.

But despite being a eunuch, Theon seems to be on the way toward redeeming himself for his douchebaggery. He’s lost his claim to the Iron Islands, but may do something super heroic, die in battle, or end up as his sister’s chief advisor.

Speaking of…

WOMEN TAKING OVER

Hey. Look. I’m all for women’s rights and shit but Westeros is becoming a total vag-ocracy here.

You’ve got Cersei on the Iron Throne and the Khaleesi about to take the Iron Throne (does anyone think anyone in Westeros is willing to be chomped by a dragon to protect Cersei? Doubtful.)

You’ve got Ellaria Sand ruling Dorne after killing her brother-in-law in a coup.

You’ve got Lady Olena in charge of Highgarden even though she’s like a million years old.

Sure, Jon Snow is King of the North but he’s one of those perpetually depressed hipster emo losers who will probably walk away from it all and turn it over to Sansa.

I’m not saying never have a woman ruler but you know, let’s mix it up and have some peen-ocracies and some vag-ocracies.

ARYA

Checked a big name off her list. Got her revenge.

WHAT’S BEYOND WESTEROS?

There was a brief mention this season that there is land beyond Westeros but no one has ever sailed that far.

I wonder if that will become some kind of allegory to Europeans sailing and colonizing the Americas.

WHAT SAY YOU, 3.5 READERS?

What did you like about this season? What did you not like? What did you want to see and or not see?

What’s next?

Discuss.

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , ,