Bookshelf Battle

You know nothing, 3.5 readers.

Jon Snow knows nothing…or does he?

You know nothing.

But if you read this post, you will know SPOILERS!

So you know, if you don’t want to know what’s happening on Game of Thrones then stop reading. Go play Parcheesi or eat a cheese sandwich or take a walk or some shit.

I don’t know. It’s not my job to know what to tell you what you should do when you don’t want to read Game of Thrones SPOILERS.

OK so now that all of the people with suspect nerd credentials are out of the way, let’s talk last week’s episode.

So in Season 6, Episode 2 of Game of Thrones – “Home” we find out Jon Snow is alive.

Melisandre, the Red Woman with the Evil Magic Vagina performs some hocus pocus. But nothing happens.  So she and the other warrior dudes give up.

And if you ask me, they all give up too quickly. I mean, if Jon Snow were my friend, I might have tried the spell at least two more times.

Hell, if you were just some dopey stranger off the street I might try a life saving spell at least one more time.

But whatever. So then everyone leaves. And Jon Snow’s body is alone with his dire wolf.

And the wolf starts to sir.  And then Jon Snow gasps for air and he’s alive.

Is there anything going on with that wolf?

Theories:

• It’s a Freaky Friday situation. Jon Snow didn’t talk. He just gasped for air. Ergo, Melisandre did the spell wrong and now the wolf’s soul is in Jon and Jon’s snow is in the wolf. Kit Harrington will just walk around barking at everyone.

• Melisandre’s spell had nothing to do with it. Jon Snow has been a worg all along, like his little brother, Bran. Jon worged his ass into his dire wolf just before he died.  And then uh, I don’t know. Melisandre’s spell did have something to do with it because whatever she did pulled Jon’s soul out of the wolf and into Jon Snow’s body.

• Nothing happened with the wolf other than the show runners wanted to show you that after everyone had given up, the wolf, with its heightened wolf senses, sensed Jon Snow was back.

All I know is that no shadow assassins popped out of Melisandre’s magic vagina and her clothes and magic age defying necklace stayed on the entire time, thank God.

What theories do you 3.5 readers have going into this coming Sunday’s episode?

FULL DISCLOSURE: I didn’t make that Jon Snow meme it’s just one of many Jon Snow memes going about in the Game of Thrones nerdosphere and I thought it was funny.