Bookshelf Battle

By: Jake Hatcher, Official Bookshelf Battle Private Eye

Pop Culture Mystery Question – In Stars Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, who shot first in the cantina scene?  Was it Han Solo or Greedo the Bounty Hunter?

I was back in business.  Hot off closing my first case under the employ of Bookshelf Q. Battler, a nerd with an unquenchable thirst for entertainment.  His mind was lousy with questions about movies and TV and it was up to yours truly to sort them all out.

This time the nerd wanted to know all about a laser blaster battle between a rogue space pilot and a seedy green hoodlum.

An alien was dead and a human walked away like nothing happened.  This one was about to get messy.

Delilah K. Donnelly, BQB’s Attorney

Part 1 – The case hit a little too close to home, reminding me of a similar encounter with mob underboss Tips Malone.  My partner Mickey Finn was about as helpful as a wet blanket on a cold day in that scenario.

Part 2 – Delilah K. Donnelly.  I thought of her as the apple of my eye but she no doubt looked at me like I was the stale cottage cheese sitting in the back of her frigidaire.  She came to see me with a pair of action figures to use in recreating the crime scene.

Part 3 – A limo pulled up to Tsang’s China Palace, the eatery above which my office is located.  Some rich fella drove off into the night with the gal that made my heart jitterbug.

Part 4 – I seek out the help of Agnes Abernathy, aka Agnes the Librarian, the only broad in this topsy turvy modern world with the patience to help me figure out how to operate confounding beep boop machines.

Part 5 – I recreated the crime scene to no avail:

Greedo pulls a piece on Han.

Part 6 – I consulted various expert opinions.

Fire up your beep boop machines, 3.5 readers.  This tale’s a lot like Princess Leia.  You’ll want to gussy it up with a metal bikini and tie it to yourself with a chain.

Copyright (c) Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All rights reserved.

Blonde woman image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.