Bookshelf Battle

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By: Special Guest Interviewer, Alien Jones

Humans, my guest today is none other than Jake Bible.  A Bram Stoker Award nominated novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of “the Drabble Novel,” he’s entertained thousands with his horror and science fiction tales, reaching audiences of all ages with his ability to write in a wide range of genres.

Jake is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series.  Set in Asheville, NC, the books follows residents of a suburban community as they transition from easygoing living to post-apocalyptic zombie fighting.

SIDENOTE:  Today, October 27, is also Jake’s birthday.

A recent court ruling made the “Happy Birthday Song” free to all, which is great, because knowing that old cheapskate BQB, he’d of never approved of us singing it otherwise.

So let’s all sing Jake “Happy Birthday” shall we?

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday Dear Jake Bible, Esteemed Inventor of the Drabble Novel!

Happy Birthday to you!!!!

Jake, welcome and thanks for taking my call on the space phone.

NOTE: BOLD=ALIEN JONES; ITALICS=JAKE

Q.  Here’s a question I’ve been wondering all month.  Humans live in a modern world.  Everything from technology to toilets, cars to electricity is available.  Why are so many humans fantasizing about living in a post-apocalyptic world where showers are a thing of the past and zombies want to eat them?  Are humans right in the head?

A. First, no, humans are not right in the head. That’s just a fact of life. as for why they would want to live in a post-apocalyptic world, well, that’s easy: it’s the great equalizer. Your survival depends on your skills and intelligence, not on what car you drive, how much you make, or whether or not you get a high score on a performance review. The rich can’t buy survival and the idiots won’t survive long. Win/win situation, in my opinion.

Q.  I suspect the characters that filled Whispering Pines, the suburban neighborhood featured in Z-Burbia miss their once comfortable lifestyle.  Though I don’t mean to ask for spoilers, can you give us a glimpse of what they have to go through?  How is zompoc living vs. suburban living?

A. Part of the satire in Z-Burbia is that the Whispering Pines homeowners don’t give up much after the dead rise. They keep their HOA and try to go on with life as usual. They have established power, they grow their own food, they even still have natural gas flowing. Sure, the dead want to eat their brains, but that’s what huge walls and razor wire are for, right? I mean, these people even have WiFi, just no Internet since the outside world wasn’t as lucky as the survivors in Whispering Pines.

Q.  You’re the inventor of “The Drabble Novel.”  On your blog, Brain Squeezin’s, you describe this as “a short short story written using only 100 words. Not 99 words, not 101 words, but 100 words exactly.”  You then go on to explain how you piece together several “drabbles” together to come up with a larger novel.  Am I correct in this description and how did you first discover this amazing contribution to the world of literature?

A.  I started writing drabbles to sharpen my skills as a writer. Being constrained by an exact number of words teaches you how to edit and how to make sure each word counts. When I went to write my first novel, Dead Mech, I used the writing form as an exercise to get used to characters and settings. Then I realized I liked the feel and flow of 100 words as scene sections. Instead of rewriting what I already had, I started filling in gaps and before I knew it I had the beginnings of a drabble novel where each section is exactly 100 words. It really gives the novel a cinematic, quick-cut feel which is perfect for the over the top, high-action plot.

Q. “Once upon a time, a bunny rabbit was hopping through the forest.  It stopped to eat a carrot when an enormous dragon swooped down and breathed fire in the bunny’s general direction.  Instantly, the rabbit harnessed the ancient power of the ninja masters of old, jumped into the air, and delivered a crushing roundhouse kick to the dragon’s hideous snout.  The beast fell to the ground with a deafening crash and the bunny skinned its oily hide and sold its dragon leather.  He then used the proceeds to take a gaggle of she-bunnies out on the town. Hanky panky transpired.”

ALIEN JONES: That’s one-hundred words exactly.  How’d I do?  Do I have a future in this business or what?

A.  You did great! That’s a story, right there. As for a future, well, drabbles don’t pay much. So, yes, you have a future, just a poor and hungry one. 😉

Q.  You’ve written other zombie tales outside of Z-Burbia.  One that comes to mind is Bethany and the Zombie Jesus.  To give readers a brief rundown, a stone carved likeness of Jesus decides it doesn’t want to be on a cross anymore, comes down and its up to Bethany to stop Zombie Jesus from bringing about the end of days.

I have to say, that’s one of the most unique zombie story premises I’ve observed yet.  How did you come up with that one?

A. The idea that Jesus rose from the grave makes him an easy target for zombification. So I went with that idea that instead of Jesus rising and being the world’s savior, he rose and was ready to start the zombie apocalypse a few thousand years ago and it has been left up to a handful of men and women over the millennia to keep watch over him and make sure he doesn’t get loose. Of course, eventually he gets loose and that’s where Bethany begins.

Q.  Kaiju.  Monster sharks.  Mechs.  These are just some of the topics of your other novels.  Accordingly, I have to ask, Monster Shark vs. Zombies.  Who wins?  Feel free to weigh in on a Kaiju’s or a Mech’s chances against a zombie horde as well.

A. Monster Shark will always beat zombies. Mainly because of its environment. Also, a monster shark is the ultimate apex predator. Now, if a monster shark becomes a zombie, that’s a whole other ballgame. Kaiju would take out a zombie horde, no problem. Stomp, stomp, chomp, done. Pretty much the same with mechs, minus the chomp part. Unless the mech is damaged and has no ammo then it is highly possible it can be overwhelmed by sheer numbers. Physics are physics.

Q.  Happy Birthday Jake.  I’d of baked you a cake but you know, I’m trapped in a zombie apocalypse and all.  Speaking of, before I go, do you have any last minute advice that might help the humans and I survive the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?

A.  Never assume you are safe, never relax, always be on the lookout for trouble and always have an exit plan. Keep your loved ones close and your weapons closer. And cardio. That is always good advice. Cardio.