Rejected Olympic Games

  • 10K Pizza Face Stuff – I’d be a gold medalist and then go pro. No steroids needed.
  • The Middle Finger Point – Offend random audience members with a middle finger.
  • Mrs. Doubtfire Dash – Contestants dress like elderly women.  Whoever convinces dumb children that she is their nanny takes home the gold…also, gets arrested and deservedly so, freaks.
  • The Bell Biv Devoe-off – Know that song “Poison?”  Of course you don’t. Millennials are the worst. So it ends with, “That girl is poi-son…uh ah uh ah uh ah….whoever holds the “ah” the longest…GOLD!
  • The Nap Off – Whoever sleeps the longest.
  • The Gas Off – Self-explanatory. Judges rate expulsions from 1 to 10 based on sound, pitch, length of time, and aroma.
  • Yodeling – The Swiss would nail this.
  • Yodel Eating – I would nail this.
  • The Blog Off – Contestants create a blog. First one to attract the attention of 3.5 readers wins.
  • Cat Juggling – juggling….of cats!
  • Extreme Wedgie-ing – First to pull the opponent’s underpants over his/her head and/or possibly use said undies as a slingshot to launch the opponent to the moon wins…the gold!
  • Rubber Band Ball Making – he with the biggest balls wins (in the games and in life).
  • Paper Air Plane Construction/Flight – Separate competitions for best plane and longest flight.
  • Beer Pong – there isn’t enough beer in the Olympics.

What say you, 3.5 readers? Which rejected Olympic Games would you like to compete in?

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4 thoughts on “Rejected Olympic Games

  1. Jason says:

    I do like the Nap off one. I don’t know if I would get gold, but I would at least get silver or bronze.

  2. Meg Sorick says:

    Napping or beer pong. But I’d being going for the lose in beer pong…

  3. hello bookshelfbattle its dennis the vizsla dog hay the gas off for me!!! beeing a dog i wood totaly dominayt enny hyooman kompetitors!!! ha ha ok bye

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