Daily Archives: August 15, 2016

Aug 15 2016
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East Randomtown News

East Randomtown Olympian Harvey Smotchenbocker

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East Random Town’s Finest Athlete

Hey 3.5 readers.

For those of you who follow this monstrosity of a blog regularly (because, I don’t know, it was this or watching paint dry) you’re aware that among my many duties, I am currently the Acting Mayor of East Randomtown, due to the fact that our duly elected mayor was eaten by zombies last October.

The job is a real burden, let me tell you. Even so, I’m in the middle of a tough re-election battle with town bar fly Leo McKoy, who I’m fairly certain is a robot, because I saw him get eaten by zombies last October as well.  I don’t know how to explain his shocking return the town other than through robotics.

But I digress.

As mayor, it is up to me to promote our humble hamlet and give a pat on the back to our citizens whenever they do our town proud.

Not gonna lie. It doesn’t happen often. This town is a real stink burg.

But it has happened. East Randomtown insurance salesman Harvey Smotchenbocker is representing the United States of America in the 10K Flatulence Competition.

10K Flatulence is one of the lesser known Olympic events but it does have a long tradition dating back to the very first games when Arcadius the Flatulator climbed to the top of Mount Olympus and let one rip.

Contestants’ submissions are graded on size, length, pitch, tone, aroma, and methane content.

“I train every day with two burritos, a half-dozen chili dogs, and a 2-liter bottle of generic cola,” Harvey told the Bookshelf Battle Blog. “It’s the least I can do to make this great nation proud. USA! USA! USA!”

Keep your fingers crossed and your noses plugged for Harv, folks. He faces some ripe competition from:

Hirohito Takamotodashi – Japan’s most prolific flatulator. Rumored to have killed a man with his flatulence.

Ivan Rostikoff – The greatest flatulator to come out of Moscow. Caught up in the Russian doping scandal. Investigators claim he was injecting chili directly into his buttocks. This kind of doping is frowned upon in the world of competitive flatulence.

Sir Nigel Walstingshire – England’s premiere flatulator.  His greatest supporter is the Queen herself, who shows her support by attending his training sessions with a clothespin on her nose.

These flatulators are no slouches, 3.5 readers, so keep the Harvmeister in your prayers.  He’ll need to make a whole lot of brown to win that gold.

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Aug 15 2016
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Self Publishing

Barnes and Noble Lets Self-Published Books Into Stores

Happy Monday, 3.5 readers.

Wait. Are Mondays ever happy?

Interesting article in The Columbus Dispatch.

Barnes and Noble, which has allowed self-publishers to sell their books on their site to Nook users (Nook being B + N’s version of the Amazon Kindle) will let self-publishers sell books in their brick and mortar stores.

According to the article above, there is a catch, namely, that the author must have sold 1,000 books in the past year.

On the surface, it sounds like a great development for the self-publishing community.

I’ve yet to self-publish, but I’ve read (on blogs) and heard (on various podcasts) that there are a number of self-publishers who are iffy on Nook, they just don’t see the sales that they see on Amazon or other sites.

Still, getting your book in a bookstore…that’s the dream of every author, isn’t it?  Might as well reach out and grab it while bookstores are still around.

My gut tells me this is a recognition that print media is rapidly going the way of self-publishing.  More writers are bypassing the traditional publishing run around by building their blogs, their social media, their online fan base and as that continues, physical bookstores will need to get print copies of those self-published books into their stores to keep sales up.

That’s my take on it. I can’t think of any other reason why they’d do it.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

If you are a self-publisher, will you try this out?

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