So many motherfuckers, so little time.
BQB here with a review of the surprise hit, “The Hitman’s Bodyguard.”
3.5 readers, I literally expected this movie to be a big turd soufflé with extra poop gravy but I was pleasantly surprised to find it was a delicious chocolate cake with delicious vanilla frosting. Mmm, mmm…boy, that’s good eatin’!
But seriously. It’s an end of summer movie. The posters featured Ryan Reynolds carrying Samuel L. Jackson as though Reynolds was Kevin Costner and Jackson was Whitney Houston, i.e. depending on a joke based on a movie from the early 1990s that only decrepit old fucks like me would get.
Yet…it was good. So good. It’s funny and not just funny but raucously funny, in a time where the PC police have crawled up Hollywood’s rectum and wiped away anything devoid of humor.
Reynolds is the disgraced bodyguard given a second chance when he’s hired to escort Jackson, a hitman with dirt on a war criminal (Gary Oldham), to the International Court. Thus, it’s a race across Europe as Reynolds and Jackson become an unlikely Odd Couple, a pair of quasi-buddy cops where Reynolds tries to do things by the book and Jackson just wants to shoot everyone and shout “motherfucker!” in a repeatedly reckless manner.
Salma Hayek steals the show in what is probably the funniest role I’ve seen her in as Jackson’s foul mouthed, ultra-violent wife, a promise from INTERPOL for her freedom from prison being the only thing that’s keeping Jackson from ditching Reynolds and running way.
It’s great. Lots of laughs and if you’ve read this blog, I never let a comedy get a good review from me if it didn’t make me laugh. It did. Plus, a lot of action. It’s a surprisingly long film, but the action never stops and in a summer where the box office fizzled, it is probably the best action movie I’ve seen this year.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy, motherfucker.