Dear 3.5 Readers,
I quit. It’s been a real blast, but I’m at the point where I’m so old it wouldn’t matter if I sell enough copies of Toilet Gator (the best book ever written about toilets or gators) to buy a Malibu Beach House and fill it full of hot chicks with loose morals.
I mean, had it happened ten years ago, I could have fooled myself into thinking the hot chicks wanted me for my manliness and charm. Now that my balls are all wrinkly and my face looks like I stepped on a rake 5,000 times, what would it matter? I would be fully aware that the women aren’t hanging out with me for me but for all of my Toilet Gator money.
So, I enjoyed writing this blog but I have decided to turn it over to my arch nemesis, the International War Criminal/Incredibly Boring Fuzzy Snow Monster, The Yeti. He will post boring posts until the end of time. Expect many photos of his toe nail clippings.
I had a good run. No, my last post can’t include a lie. It was a terrible run. Literally every bad thing that could have possibly happened did and now I am going to ask Alien Jones to put me in one of his spare space ships and auto pilot me into the sun…that way, a little piece of me will always shine down on you 3.5 readers.
Well…maybe I won’t go that far. I changed my mind. I will move to Tibet and become a monk. Are monks allowed to eat pizza? I hope so. I’ll find out.
Thank you 3.5 readers. You are the Yeti’s 3.5 readers now. Enjoy.
