Hey 3.5 readers.
I must admit I was skeptical when I saw Disney Plus was offering a Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special. It’s only about 45 minutes long, a quick watch, basically a well produced 45 minute TV episode.
The plot? The Guardians have purchased a town called Knowhere from the Collector and are running it, busy assisting the alien townsfolk with all of their problems. When super song Drax and creepy mind controlling bug woman Mantis (Dave Bautista and Pom Klementief) learn that their leader, Quill (Chris Pratt) didn’t have a very happy Christmas under the watchful eye of pirate Yondu, they set out to make things right by doing a lot of wrong, namely, by kidnapping Quill’s hero, actor Kevin Bacon and bringing him to space as a present.
The running joke is that Drax and Mantis are dummies. They see nothing wrong with the idea of kidnapping someone and gifting a human being as a present, so Quill must set them straight on that. Also hilarity ensues when the alien duo realize that Bacon really is not a great man who has done a lot of great things but in actuality, is an actor who has just pretended to do them.
My one complaint is “shit” is said by one of the characters and look, I’m not a wallflower. I watch movies with dirty language all the time. My complaint is the film spent 44 minutes being something that parents and kids can enjoy together only to drop an unnecessary word right at the end.
Not to give a spoiler, but the running joke is that all the aliens are disgusted by actors, the idea of someone claiming false glory, pretending to do great things instead of actually doing them. Throughout the show whenever they learn Bacon is an actor, they pretend to vomit, call him gross and disgusting and lament how they have ruined Christmas by procuring a disgusting actor. It’s funny and a good joke on the acting profession. Then right at the end when Bacon proves his worth a character says, “Wow I guess all actors aren’t a worthless piece of shit” or something liek that. They could have just had her say all actors aren’t worthless. They managed to go the whole episode without swearing yet still being enjoyable and funny without the bad language.
I worry about the direction Disney is headed in as of late. They had She Hulk talking in unnecessary detail about Steve Rogers sex life, something that still could have been done if more tact had been used. I think in the end everyone is forgetting that while adults enjoy Marvel, the kids have to come first and it has to be suitable for them. Disney’s stock and projects have been tanking as of late and I think it is largely because parents aren’t happy with what they are seeing. They need to dial it back a bit.
Otherwise a good mini movie.
Bookshelf Battle 