Doc opened up a trunk and filled it with his clothes, knick knacks, and of course, a hearty supply of his Miracle Cure-All. Annabelle, now in her best dress, walked into the room while fastening a ring to her ear.
“Whatcha doin’?” the ditzy prostitute asked.
“I’m afraid I’ve worn out my welcome in this town my dear,” Doc said. “I’m off to cross the Mississippi and share my Miracle Cure-All with the East.”
“No!” Annabelle said. “Why? Because of what Miss Bonnie said?”
“Indeed,” Doc replied. “I have always steadfastly maintained that a man is little more than his reputation and I will not remain in a locale where my good name is assaulted by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.”
“You sold all your dope, didn’t you?” Annabelle asked.
“Yes,” Doc said. “I mean, it’s not dope, but yes. And upon my arrival in Chicago I shall order more!”
Annabelle’s eyes bugged out. “Chicago?! Golly, I’ve always wanted to see a big city.”
Doc sat on the edge of the bed. “Yes,” he said. “ I suppose I sometimes forget that to the common folk my life is quite spectacular.”
Annabelle joined him. “It sure sounds like it.”
“My dear,” Doc said. “I do not wish to alarm you and I say this with every possible sense of humility but you are in the company of a genius.”
“Oh I know,” Annabelle said. “I knew it the second I met you.”
“Few share your remarkable foresight,” Doc said. “For all throughout history, those who dare to think differently from the commoners have always been subjected to ridicule.”
“They have?” Annabelle asked.
“Indubitably!” Doc replied as he stood up. “Why, the great Galileo was viciously persecuted for declaring that the Earth revolves around the Sun and not the other way around, as the biblical scholars believed at the time. Columbus was scoffed at when he surmised that the world was round and that he would prove it by circumnavigating the globe in order to reach India!”
“Did he ever reach India?” Annabelle asked.
“It doesn’t matter!” Doc said. “For though they were scorned in their day, history has proven that these men possessed a level of intelligence far greater than their contemporaries. We now know that the Earth does indeed revolve around the Sun, that the world most certainly is round and by God, though my fate as a genius is to be mocked by uncouth nitwits for the rest of my waking days, I cling to an unwavering belief that one day there will be a place for me in the history books in which I am praised as Doctor Elias T. Faraday by way of Boston, Massachusetts…”
Annabelle had heard Doc’s spiel before. She hopped up and proudly proclaimed, “But he’s no relation to those Chestnut Hill Faradays because they’re lousy beggars who will pick your pockets!”
“Precisely!” Doc said. “And I shall be remembered as the pioneer who revolutionized medicine by informing the world of the curative properties of cocaine and the benefits of weekly gynecological exams!”
“I still think those could just be yearly,” Annabelle said.
Doc slapped his forehead in disgust, then labored to respond. “It’s just that…”
“I’m sorry,” Annabelle said.
“…you have no idea the horrors that could transpire within your womanly chasm in the span of a single day let alone an entire year,” Doc said.
“I said I’m sorry!” Annabelle protested.
“No no,” Doc said. “Such is my lot in life. Such is the lot of all geniuses who are burdened with knowledge the world is not yet prepared to hear. Oh how I wish I could trade my brain for that of a dullard and live a blissfully unaware life but alas, I shall strive to muddle through. Good day, my dear.”
Annabelle threw herself at Doc, wrapping her arms around him tightly. “Take me with you!”
“What?” Doc asked.
“I want to see the big city and help you spread the word of the curative properties of cocaine and weekly guy-na…guy-na-col…of weekly beaver inspections!”
“No, no my dear!” Doc said. “I simply could not allow that! My work is much too tasking for a delicate flower such as yourself you know. Why, once I pass through New York City and big good morrow to my family in Boston I shall be off to England, Spain, France, even Russia on my mission to spread my Miracle Cure-All all over the world.”
Annabelle bounced up and down giddily. “I want to travel all over the world!”
“But my dear it’s not all visits with Kings and heads of states I’ll have you know,” Doc said. “I shall journey onward to the heart of Africa, for even the savage peoples of the Dark Continent deserve the medicinal effects of cocaine based drinks mixed with spider eggs for texture. This is my life now, my dear, and I will not rest until every hand in the entire world is holding a bottle of Doc Faraday’s Miracle Cure-All!”
Annabelle squeezed Doc tighter and begged. “Please, please, please, please…”
“Hmm,” Doc said as he stroked his devilish beard. “Dare I? Doctor Elias T. Faraday take a wife?”
Annabelle shoved Doc away. “Whoa! Slow down, buster! Who said anything about getting hitched?”
“I thought that was what you were implying,” Doc said.
“No,” Annabelle said. “I just want to see the world and…” She then whispered some very naughty activities into Doc’s ear that caused his right eyebrow to raise exceptionally high.
“Well in that case, come along my dear,” Doc said as he offered Annabelle his arm. He picked up his trunk with his free hand and walked downstairs with his new companion.
“Oh dear,” Doc said as he checked his pocket watch.
“What?” Annabelle asked.
“Well, the Slade-Farquhar nuptials shall be happening presently and as a man of high stature I really should attend.”
“You should?” Annabelle asked.
“I should,” Doc replied. “I saved Marshal Slade’s life in a harrowing shoot-out against a band of ruffians I’ll have you know.”
At a table with his favorite brother-cousins, Smelly Jack drank his twelfth beer of the day and eavesdropped on the conversation.
“You did?” Annabelle asked.
“The Buchanan Boys they were called,” Doc said. “Oh it was quite gruesome. No decent man ever truly gets over taking another man’s life and yet I was forced to take so many lives that day.”
“Oh your poor thing,” Annabelle said. She didn’t consider the fact that she was literally surrounded by many living Buchanans but then again putting two and two together wasn’t exactly Annabelle’s strong suit.
“Yes well, I shall persevere,” Doc said as he led Annabelle through the double doors. “Come my dear, let us attend Mr. Slade’s wedding and then we shall be off to travel the world!”
“Waldo!” Annabelle shouted to the barkeep.
Waldo looked bored out of his mind, listening to another bull session between Blake and Townsend.
“Tell Bonnie I quit!” Annabelle said.
“OK,” Waldo said.
“I’m going to be an assistant world traveling beaver inspecting dope salesman!” Annabelle proudly declared.
“Umm,” Waldo said. “You know I think I’ll probably just tell her you don’t want to be a whore anymore…if its just the same.”
Bookshelf Battle 