How the West Was Zombed – Chapter 42


Miss Bonnie rapped on Annabelle’s door. No one answered.

“Annabelle?” Miss Bonnie asked.

Muffled voices could be heard from behind the door. Annabelle giggled.

“Doctor, that’s so cold!”

“No one ever said that maintaining good health is easy, my dear,” Doc replied.

Miss Bonnie knocked on the door again. “Annabelle!”

“Doc,” Annabelle said. “Do we really have to do this every week?”

“Oh I insist my dear,” Doc said. “We must not leave your physical well-being to chance.”

“It’s just that it’s getting kinda expensive,” Annabelle said.

“An understandable concern,” Doc said. “But while you can always make more money, you can’t make yourself another life now can you?”

“I suppose not,” Annabelle said.

Miss Bonnie opened the door and barged in to find a buck naked Annabelle laid back in bed with her legs straight up in the air.

Doc popped his head up from in between them, wearing a pair of goggles that made his eyes appear a hundred times larger than they normally were. He gestured wildly with a cast iron speculum in his hand. Both hands were covered with black leather gloves.

“Miss Lassiter!” Doc said. “Can you spare me a moment? As you can see, I’m with a patient.”

Annabelle pulled the covers over herself. “Oh…hey Bonnie,” she said.

Doc stood up. He was fully clothed.

“What in the hell is this?” Miss Bonnie asked.

“A medical examination,” Doc said. “A very intense, grueling procedure if you must know.”

“Damn it, Annabelle, have you been…”

Embarrassed, Annabelle hid her face under the covers. Miss Bonnie pointed at her girl then looked at Doc.

“Pay her.”

“Pardon me?” Doc asked.

“You heard me,” Miss Bonnie said.

“But I’m rendering a professional service…”

“I don’t give a shit what nasty fetish you’ve got going on here,” Miss Bonnie said.

“Madame!” Doc said. “Dare you impugn my devotion to medical science?

“I do,” Miss Bonnie said. “Now give her back all the money she gave you AND pay her for whatever the hell you’ve been doing.”

Doc lifted the goggles and rested them on his forehead. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of bills. He peeled off a few and set them on Annabelle’s nightstand.

“More,” Miss Bonnie said.

Doc added to the pile. “This is ludicrous,” Doc said. “You’ve wounded me deeply with these slanderous accusations!”

“You’ll get over it,” Miss Bonnie said. “Now about the dope you’ve been pushing…”

Doc’s eyes widened. “Dope?! Dope?! Madame, I’ll have you know the only so-called ‘dope’ I’m ‘pushing’ is Doc Faraday’s Miracle Cure-All, the last medicine you’ll ever need!  Good for aches, pains, bowel distress, consumption…”

“I don’t give a shit if its butterscotch pudding,” Miss Bonnie said with her hand out. “Anyone who turns a trick in my joint owes me a cut. Fork it over.”

Doc put a stack of cash in Miss Bonnie’s hand.

“Keep it coming,” the redhead said.

“Is there no appreciation for science in this Godforsaken town?” Doc asked as he slapped down some more bills.

“Apparently not,” Miss Bonnie said. She tucked the cash into her brazier. “Annabelle, is this asshole hurting you?”

“No,” came the reply from under the covers. “It’s kinda fun!”

“I guess you can finish whatever the hell you were doing now that you’ve paid,” Miss Bonnie said to Doc. “But if I ever hear about you charging one of my girls again you’ll be extracting my shoe out of your ass.”

Miss Bonnie walked away. Doc put his goggles back on. “Well, my dear, I suppose there’s no rule against me examining you pro bono.”

“You’d do that, Doc?” Annabelle asked as she popped her head out.

“Indeed, my dear,” Doc said. “Selfless, I know, but I take my Hippocratic oath quite seriously and my devotion to my patients knows no bounds.

Tagged , , , ,

6 thoughts on “How the West Was Zombed – Chapter 42

    • I can hear you in my head when I write now lol. I thought for sure you were going to tell me there was no way someone could refer to an Old West gynecological exam as “fun.” I’m sure one reader will point that out…I’m sure it wouldn’t have been fun at all but the point is that it really isn’t fun but more that Annabelle is just not very bright and perhaps as into weird things as the Doc.

  1. […] Chapter 40          Chapter 41            Chapter 42 […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: