BEIGE CORP!
Beige
Yes, Beige Corp! The world’s premiere producer of beige products and accessories is a proud sponsor of the Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Zombie Apocalypse Survivor’s Journal.
“We were devastated to learn of a zombie attack in East Randomtown, mostly because that’s where our headquarters is located, and its going to cost an ass-ton of cash to have it fumigate,” said Lawrence Mortimer, Beige Corp CEO. “Oh, and also we’re very worried about our dear, dear employees. They are truly the life’s blood of our drab empire.”
Mr. Mortimer noted that despite of the loss of the East Randomtown HQ, beige products and accessories production will continue via new plants in China, India, and Thailand.
“Fear not, loyal beige loving customers, our third world sweat shops will be set up in no time! Did I say ‘third world sweat shops?’ Whoops! I meant to say ‘developing nation economic advancement centers!'”
BEIGE! It’s the color you wear when you don’t want to say anything about yourself whatsoever.
Have you lived a pristine enough life to pull off white? I don’t think so.
Are you enough of a badass outlaw to walk around in all black? Johnny Cash knows you haven’t.
BEIGE!
Just look at these fine Beige Corp employees, hard at work, producing beige products and accessories for the beige loving masses.
Or, at least they were before our headquarters was overrun by the gruesome undead. Where ever you are, East Randomtown employees, we’re thinking about you.
But thinking is all we’re going to do because holy shit, we aren’t fighting any damn zombies.
Ted Becker, Accounting – Feared dead or zombified.
Judy Masters, Call Center Operator – Most likely was too bored to fend off a zombie attack.
Eduardo Ricardo Papageorgio Von Finkelstein, aka Bookshelf Q. Battler, Assistant to the Assistant of the Vice-President for Corporate Assistance – Currently fighting for his life in the East Randomtown Mall.
To BQB and the rest of our employees in East Randomtown, know that your bosses are keeping you in their thoughts and prayers, far far away from that shit hole you call a town, which let’s face it, didn’t even look that great before the zombie apocalypse.
Bookshelf Battle 