Greetings Earth Losers! A Happy Sunday to you all and thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules of Comic Con Cosplay to read this fine column.
(Sorry, but all 3.5 of you can’t be Daenerys Targaryen. 2.5 of you are going to have to change.)
Speaking of, Bookshelf Q. Battler, a Game of Thrones fanboy if there ever was one, not only plotzed, but passed out and had to be resuscitated by the Yeti when he received this tweet:
Yes, that’s none other than Justin Sloan, a writer for Telltale Games, who’s worked on the Game of Thrones video game, as well as Tales from the Borderlands.
He’s an optioned screen writer, a USMC veteran, and a recent guest on the Self Publishing Podcast with Johnny, Sean and Dave:
BQB informs me he enjoyed that podcast thoroughly, because it explains how one author managed to rise above the odds and land a sweet, sweet career as video game writer. You don’t get there without rolling up your sleeves and putting a little elbow grease in, folks, and Justin can certainly attest to that.
(Plus, Dave doesn’t even complain about the lousy service at Target and Olive Garden once in the entire show.)
Anyway, long story short, BQB reached out to Justin to inform him he enjoyed his appearance on SPP and Justin, class act that he is, requested that one of his books be pitted against a classic on bookshelfbattle.com
After reviewing Justin’s Amazon Author Page, I, Alien Jones, humble intergalactic correspondent, will now pit one of his works against a classic and decide which one is better.
Teddy Bears in Monsterland vs. Hamlet
Hamlet. It’s considered by scholars of English literature to be the quintessential piece of writing that everyone should read at least once in their lifetime.
It’s routinely assigned in high school English classes and actors believe it is a great achievement when cast in a production of the Bard’s seminal work.
But, it’s severely lacking in the teddy bears vs. monsters department.
I’ve studied the entire play and not once do I see:
POLONIUS: Come come, my son, for your ship doth prepare to embark and thou hast yet to encounter a teddy bear with magical powers.
LAERTES: Fi on thee, oh father! For I hath witnessed many bow tied teddy bears able to harness the power of the supernatural for the purposes of dispatching monsters most foul!
A great oversight on Shakespeare’s part, if you ask me. I don’t know how he wasn’t laughed out of the industry for such an epic fail.
WINNER: Teddy Bears in Monsterland (Book 1 of the Teddy Defenders Series, Recommended for Children ages 7-12)
Justin also mentioned that out of all of his works, he’s partial to Back By Sunrise, a Magical Children’s Fantasy Novel.
As an alien being with a superior intellect (which doesn’t take much when you’re around humans), I’m fairly certain Back by Sunrise would soundly defeat The Chronicles of Narnia. Really, all a competitor has to do is offer Edmund a piece of candy and he’ll gladly sell out his entire family.
Are you an aspiring scribe? Justin has some books about writing that you might want to check out as well.
Finally, and avert your eyes Game of Thrones fans if you don’t want to read a SPOILER but, come on Justin. Seriously. What’s next for Jon Snow? Is there a resurrection afoot? Maybe the Red Woman works a little hocus pocus? Perhaps a little eye of newt gets dropped into a potion and Jon’s back to his old mopey know nothing self again?
Come on. Spill the beans. The secret will be safe here. Only 3.5 people read this blog anyway, and one of them is Bookshelf Q. Battler’s aunt.
Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle Blog, on a mission to raise Earth’s collective intelligence levels one question at a time. Do you have an inquiry for the Esteemed Brainy One? Tweet it to @bookshelfbattle or leave it in the comments on bookshelfbattle.com. If he likes your question, he might even promote your book, blog, or other project in his answer.
Green alien image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.