Tag Archives: horror

Oct 17 2016
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#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 17 – Jeremy Laszlo and the E-Mail that Launched a Self-Publishing Career

With Your Guest Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

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Rejection.

It’s not something an author ever looks forward to.

But when Jeremy Laszlo submitted his fiction to the world of traditional publishing an an intern accidentally hit the wrong button whilst sending an e-mail about batch rejecting a ton of submissions, he realized it was a waste of time to pursue traditional publishing any further and instead, dove right into the self-publishing game.

Zombies!  Also, orcs!

Check out BQB’s interview with Jeremy here.

And don’t forget to check out Jeremy’s Left Alive series on Amazon.

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Oct 17 2016
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#31WaystoDefeataVampire, Uncategorized

#31WaysToDefeataVampire – Way #17 – Fan Fiction

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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Bleh!

Hello again, 3.5 readers.

Yes, it is I, Count Krakovich, here to again regale you with another way to defeat a vampire.

You can defeat a vampire with fan fiction.

That’s right.

I know that to you, your fan fiction tribute to Star Wars or Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Game of Thrones or what have you is special but to the rest of the world and especially vampires, who have good taste when it comes to books, your fan fiction stinks. It really does.

No joke. If you read your fan fiction to a vampire he will hiss and fly away.

Have you ever read your fan fiction to a vampire?

Discuss in the comments.

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Oct 16 2016
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#31WaystoDefeataVampire

#31WaysToDefeatAVampire – Way #16 – Nukes

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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Nukes destroy everything and vampires aren’t impervious to them.

Can’t say I’d recommend this option though.

Surely a vampire can’t be that much of a pain in the ass to warrant a nuclear attack.

Probably best to stake the vampire or hell, just let the vampire bite you.  Its better to be a vampire than to be nuked whilst trying to take out a vampire. No vampire is worth destroying a large area with a nuke.

That’s just common sense, really.

 

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Oct 15 2016
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#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 15 – Peter Meredith – Finding Your Calling

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

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Have you found your calling yet, 3.5 readers?

Sometimes it takes time.

For example, I didn’t know I’d be a good zombie until another zombie bit me and turned me into a zombie.

Sometimes you’ll discover what you’re meant to do when you least expect it.

Last year, Peter Meredith talked to BQB about his journey to becoming a successful writer.

Check out that interview here.

And don’t forget to check out The Apocalypse Crusade and other books by Peter on Amazon.

 

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Oct 15 2016
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#31WaystoDefeataVampire

#31WaystoDefeataVampire – Way #15 – Stakes

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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Bleh!

Well, it only took half a month but I finally got to an obvious one – stakes.

Yes, a stake through the heart will end a vampire’s reign of terror.

Stop being so cocky. A stake through the heart would kill anyone.

But there’s a religious irony. It’s like you took a piece of Christ’s cross and rammed it through a vampire’s still ticker (or heart that used to tick.)

Any piece of wood will do against a vampire.

Do not use formica or cheap ass faux wood.  Vampires survive that all the time.

Steaks as in the meat do not work.  Do not throw a porterhouse at a vampire.  It will accomplish nothing other than wasting a good dinner, bleh.

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Oct 14 2016
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#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 14 – Kate L. Mary

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

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Nerds vs. hunks.

Hunks vs. nerds.

Who’s better?

Nerds, according to Kate L. Mary, author of the Broken World series.

BQB talked to Kate about the nerds vs. hunks issue last year.

Check out that interview here.

And don’t forget to check out Kate’s Twisted World on Amazon.

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Oct 14 2016
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#31WaystoDefeataVampire

#31WaystoDefeataVampire – Way #14 – Vampire Sex Tapes

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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You’d think a vampire sex tape would be interesting but no.

Remember, vampires don’t cast a reflection.

Ergo, a vampire sex tape is just a two minute video of a bed that includes audio of a lot of strange, disturbing noises.

If a vampire is hassling you, just threaten to release that vampire’s sex tape.

Sure, no one will see the vampire, but people might recognize his voice.

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Oct 13 2016
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Movies

What is Your Favorite Halloween Movie?

Hey 3.5 readers.

What is your favorite Halloween movie?

I don’t mean the Halloween series with Michael Myers, per se, although you could mention one of those.

In general, what is your favorite scary movie to watch around Halloween time?

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Oct 12 2016
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#31WaystoDefeataVampire, Uncategorized

#31WaystoDefeataVampire – Way #12 – Any Kind of Silver

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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Sure, you’re all aware that silver will defeat a vampire.

But did you know that it doesn’t have to be something made out of actual silver?

It can be something or someone that just has the word “silver” in the name.

Consider the following:

  • Pollster Nate Silver has, to the best of my knowledge, never been attacked by a vampire, most likely because his name strikes fear into the hearts of vampires.
  • Bing Crosby sang Silver Bells not to celebrate Christmas, but to ward off vampires. It worked. Bing Crosby was never bitten by a vampire (again, that I know of.)
  • The Lone Ranger always yelled, “Hi ho, Silver!” not to call his horse but to ward off vampires.  Also, because the horse was named Silver, he was never attacked by a vampire.

Change your name to silver. Wear silver clothes (have you ever seen someone dressed in a 1960s space costume get chased by a vampire?) or write a song about silver and sing it all day long and you will not become vampire chow.

How would you defeat a vampire? Discuss in the comments.

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Oct 12 2016
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#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 12 – Joe McKinney – Legendary Zombie Master

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

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Oh Bookshelf Q. Battler.  Cry me a river, why don’t you?

Whenever I read your blog you’re all like, “Waaah, I don’t have enough time to work and write, boo hoo hoo.”

Man the hell up and be like Joe McKinney, will you?

The man is a cop. The man is a writer. The man is a dad. And he has still found the time to write his way to the top of the zombie genre.

Last year, Joe dispensed some invaluable advice for wannabe writers and answered that ago-old question of why zombies are so popular.

Check out that interview here.

And don’t forget to check out Joe’s Amazon author page.

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