Bookshelf Battle

The Force is strong with me.

I’ve used it for as long as I can remember…in a very limited capacity.

I can make the doors of most stores open.

Also, I can walk into a building, step into a metal box and move it up or down.

That’s the full extent of my Jedi training.

For as long as I can remember, whenever I walk into a store, I give my wrist the slightest flick, pretending that I opened the automatic door, not the sensor mechanism.

It was all me.  I did it.

I don’t make a big show of it.  I don’t want to embarrass myself.  And why make a big show of it?  All a Jedi needs is one subtle hand motion.

Elevators are a different story.  If I’m alone, I’ll hold out both arms and lift them upward as if the box is my vessel that I can make do my bidding.

If I’m with someone else, I’ll just do a minor hand flick up and down.  (Occasionally, when an X-Men movie has been released, I’ll pretend I’m Magneto using a metal box to fly instead of a Jedi.  I like to diversify).

No one ever notices.  You 3.5 readers are actually the first people I’ve ever told.  Luckily, with only 3.5 readers, my secret is safe.

I did it when I was a kid.  I do it today.  If it’s one door that opens outward, the hand flick will be forward.

If it’s the standard two doors that separate left and right, sometimes I’ll hold my thumb against my forefinger and open my hand as if the doors were two stormtroopers and my thumb is sending one of them to the left and my fingers are tossing the other one to the right.

Most of the time I’ll just flick my wrist left or right as if the door is a mere nuisance I want out of my way.

Keep in mind – this is involuntary.

I can’t not do it.  It’s a reflex.

I don’t really want to stop doing it either.

Life.  It’s so lifelike.  So regular.  So hum drum.  We spent our youth dreaming of doing so many things and then as adults we can barely get past bill paying and other monotonous chores.

I need to pretend to be a Jedi with the power to open a store door or lift an elevator (or occasionally Magneto with the ability to use his magnet powers to fly inside a metal container).

Perhaps this is too dark a subject, but have you ever considered how you’ll know when the jig is up?

For me, it will be when I stop opening store doors with the Force.

Is this just usual BQB nonsense?  No.  It’s something he actually does. If you spot a nerd somewhere trying to use the force to open the doors of a Costco, you may be witnessing our noble blog host in action.

Light saber image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.