Is it Better to Have Loved and Lost?


Hey 3.5 readers.

A real noodle scratcher for you.

Do you think that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

Allow me to submit the rare counterargument to this tired old cliche:


I know.  You’re all like, “But BQB you can remember the good times!”

Yeah, but our human minds and spirits are weak and we inevitably question ourselves over and over again on what we could have done differently in order to have not lost our love.

That’s torture the psyche just doesn’t need.  Thus, all those late nights spent wondering what you could have done to have made your ex happy aren’t worth all of those memories of holding hands and going on long walks on the beach with your ex.  If anything, those memories make you feel worse.

Ergo, I posit to you 3.5 readers that…

it is better to have never loved than to have loved and lost.

Argh!  Oh no!  BQB went against the grain!

Yup.  That’s me.  Fight the power, baby.

What say you, 3.5?

(Special thanks to the Yeti for letting me out of my cage long enough to write this).


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6 thoughts on “Is it Better to Have Loved and Lost?

  1. Kathy Lauren says:

    Yes, better to have loved no matter the heartache if love is lost.

    • No matter what the heartache? In the moment it’s nice but in the long run all the heartache does is eat you up inside. Had you never loved you’d be blissfully unaware of what you lost because you can’t miss what you never had.

  2. dtwizzie says:

    I think it would be worse to be lonely your whole life than to have experienced a relationship and lost it. The loss of that love will hurt and the “good times” will make you sad, but eventually people will get older, maybe forget a little, and those sad feelings will fade.

    • Eh, maybe for forgetful people but I feel like the older you get the more likely it is that you feel bad you’ve gone for so many years without the love that you lost and you feel bad that your love is now old and smooching with some other old person as you wile away the hours at the nursing home.

      Sorry, but give me never have loved at all over better to have loved any day.

  3. I think it depends on what feeds you. Had I never loved I would probably be dead. I had a whole life plan that include obscene amounts of risk. But I loved and changed that plan to be with my love. You can argue it either way and the points are valid either way. There is no right answer for everyone. Would I be devastated to lose my hubs, sure. But I would never regret having loved him.

    • So I mean that’s a case where the love put you on a better road, ergo, if that love is lost, you’d be smart enough to remain on the better road. So ok, in that case it would be better to have loved and lost, theoretically because as you say it has not been lost.

      I’m not saying it can’t happen but there’s usually a story to explain the asterisk. The majority of cases though result in someone being allowed to share in your life, being trusted and then after sizing you up they make a decision that their life is better without you. That’s rough and in my opinion, without a story such as yours, all the memories of holding hands while skipping through daisies in the field do not overcome the sadness from feeling bad over the rejection and second guessing what you could have done differently.

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