PREVIOUSLY ON BQB AND THE MEANING OF LIFE…
Our noble hero Bookshelf Q. Battler is on an epic quest in search of the meaning of life. Along the way, he’s assisted by super detectives Holmes and Watson and even finds a love interest in Victoria Gloria Somersby Stratenhaus, a geeky female video game enthusiast.
Read Parts 1-5
Read Parts 6-13
Read Part 14 Read Part 15
Read Part 15 Read Part 16
Read Part 18
“You still haven’t told me how you ended up on a trip to Pango-Tango,” I said.
“Oh right,” Vicky replied. “Steve told me that I’d discover the path toward the meaning of life in a most annoying manner.”
“Did he now?” I asked.
“He sure did,” Vicky said. “And wouldn’t you know it, a few days later, I’m recovering in my house when all of a sudden, my cat starts meowing at the TV and low and behold, a news story about the Great Guru of Pango-Tango comes on!”
“That’s….that is…I’m speechless.”
“I know, right?”
I opened up my bag and looked at Holmes. He looked up at me and silently mouthed the words “tell her!”
I shut the bag.
“Sounds like you’ve been through a lot,” I said.
“I have,” Vicky said. “And to think, I’d of never experienced any of it had I not been woken up at 3 a.m.”
“What woke you up that early?” I asked as I took a sip of generic brand cola.
“The tiny video game characters who live on my magic video game rack,” Vicky said.
I did a spit take. I thought spit takes were only for cheesey comedies. I was wrong.
“Are you ok?” Vicky asked, patting me on the back.
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just went down the wrong pipe. I’m sorry. You said something about a magic video game
Victoria Gloria Somersby Stratenhaus
CODE NAME: Video Game Rack Fighter
(Seen here with her contacts in)
rack?”
I took another sip of soda.
“Yes,” Vicky said. “In fact, I should tell you that Vicky is only my given name. My chosen name is Video Game Rack Fighter.”
Another spit take.
“Wow,” Vicky said. “I think you’re developing a bit of a drinking problem there, buddy.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah I think I’m going to lay off the generic brand cola for now. Video Game what?”
“Video Game Rack Fighter,” Vicky said. “I own a magic video game rack. For some odd reason unbeknownst to me, any time I put a video game on my rack, the characters in the game come to life and battle one another over the limited space on my rack. I try to tell them there’s plenty of room and they don’t need to worry about me throwing any of their games away, but they refuse to listen.”
“I imagine that can be very stressful,” I said.
“It is,” Vicky said. “They’re always tearing my house apart. They never listen to a word I say. Just the other day I had to yell at the War Shooter soldiers to stop shooting at my copy Interplanetary Roleplayer.”
“Must be nice to get away for awhile then,” I said.
“It is,” Vicky said. “I’m a little worried they’ll run up a big pay per view bill while I’m gone, but all in all, it should be alright. I left Video Game Rack Fighter Cat in charge.”
“Video Game Rack Fighter Cat?” I asked.
“My head of security,” Vicky replied. “I like to think of my house as a headquarters where I’m safe from my enemies.”
Video Game Rack Fighter Cat, Head of Security VGRF HQ
“You have enemies?” I asked.
“Mostly a damn sasquatch I keep locked in my basement,” Vicky said. “He keeps trying to stop me from being awesome but I defeat him at every turn.”
I faked a yawn and stretched. I wasn’t tired, but I was at the end of my ability to listen to all the amazing similarities we shared. My heart told me to share my story but my brain got in the way.
“Vicky,” I said. “I hope you don’t mind, but I need a little nap.”
“That’s a good idea,” Vicky said as she tucked a pillow underneath her head. “I’m exhausted from yelling at Giuseppe and Carmine anyway.”
“Yelling at who?” I asked.
“Giuseppe and Carmine” Vicky said. “You know, the small characters that popped out of my copy of Stereotypical Italian Contractors. They snuck into my bag even though I expressly told them not to come. That’s what I was doing in the bathroom all the time. I was chewing them out royally.”
“Oh,” I said.
“You must think I’m crazy,” Vicky said as she closed her eyes.
“No,” I said. “Not at all.”
“I can’t believe I told you all this but you just seem like a real trustworthy guy””
Vicky closed her eyes.
“I hope you’re still here when I wake up, Ed,” Vicky said. “It’s been fun talking to you.”
Coming Soon to the Bookshelf Battle Blog – “What’s on Vicky’s Rack?” An exciting video game review column by Video Game Rack Fighter! (Yeah, it’s a working title. We know how it sounds.)
More BQB and the Meaning of Life to come!
Copyright Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015. All Rights Reserved.
Video game playing woman, cat, and sasquatch images courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.
PS…Vicky’s arch nemesis, “The Sasquatch” below:
Stupid Sasquatch
Bookshelf Battle 