Bookshelf Battle

Hey 3.5 readers.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here, still riding out the zombie apocalypse, but luckily I have Alien Jones’ space phone to stream stuff on, like the latest Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer:

My thoughts, in no particular order (and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong because many of these are predictions i.e. me just spitballing:

1. So we have two new heroes, a young male and a young female lead.  The girl I believe is some kind of junk scavenger and I’m guessing the structure she is searching through is that big crashed Star Destroyer from the previous trailer.  I’m assuming it is, in fact, the Star Destroyer where Luke had his final battle with the Emperor in Return of the Jedi.  Could be wrong but I thought I read somewhere that the girl find’s Luke’s lightsaber or something.  (Again, I’m just throwing stuff out there, I really have no idea.)  Meanwhile, the male lead is a stormtrooper and apparently something happens that makes him renounce his stormtroopery ways.
2. We see/hear the female lead ask Han if the stories are true and he explains that yes, they are.  Therefore, apparently much time has passed, the tales from the older films have become less real and more like legends to the people of the Star Wars universe, and assumably, Han, Luke, and Leia as old-timers will guide a new generation of heroes in taking on a new threat.
3. That threat comes in the form of some bad masked dude who’s checking out Darth Vader’s crushed mask, pledging to finish what Vader started.  Didn’t he get the memo that Vader recanted his evil ways while he was dying and finally ended up being a nice ghost who chilled with Ghost Obi Wan and Ghost Yoda at the end of Return of the Jedi?
4. We see Leia – she looks sad, she appears to be hugging Han.  I don’t know why she’s sad.  Presumably because evil deeds or transpiring, or maybe she missed Han.  Han said “Chewie, we’re home” in the other trailer, so assumably Han and Chewie went somewhere for a long time.  Here’s hoping there will be some joke where Leia calls Han a scruffy nerf herder or something.
5. I’m sad to hear about all the “Boycott Star Wars” nonsense, i.e. claims that the movie is “anti-white” but on the other hand, if you check out the hashtag, it’s mostly people complaining that the hashtag was ever created.  Food for thought – I get people are mad and want to vent but sometimes where the Internet is concerned, ignoring a dumb idea makes it go away faster whereas talking about it helps it gain steam, which, yeah, why am I talking about it then?
6. Ticket sales are breaking records as well as websites.  People buying pre-sale tickets for a movie that’s 2 months away.  I’ve never really cared about a movie before enough to buy tickets in advance but I might just for this one.
7. So we see Han, and Leia, where’s Luke? We only see his hand in the first trailer.  I mean, Mark Hammil hasn’t had it easy when it comes to aging (but then again who does?)  He was in a car wreck when he was younger and he wasn’t the best looking dude starting out (Kids there was once a time when Hollywood allowed people who didn’t look completely like Gods and Goddesses to be the leads in films, I know, amazing!) so I wonder if that’s it – but he was in the The Kingsman earlier this year and he looked fine.  I hope they’re not going to do some Hollywood thing and cover him up with a cloak or something for half the film.   I dunno.  That’s all pure speculation.

OK.  My two cents over.  Again, don’t quote me because I’m just talking out of my butt.  I look forward to seeing this movie.  What do you nerds think?